And OF, don't take the job of Pope, we need you here. Besides, not sure how the Vatican will be with a vaping Pope. A first for sure, and you'd have to learn to tweet too.
They've been smoking in the Vatican for centuries,that's what that puff of white smoke means when a new Pope is chosen. So if we see a whisp of vapor instead,that means the Cardinals have chosen OF,regardless of his religion. He has no choice in the matter because it's all been foretold in both the Bible (Revelations 4:20) and Hustler magazine. But there is a loophole, if no one in the Catholic church can pronounce his name then he's off the hook. Cardinal Charles Sheen made this statement to the masses waiting outside Saint Pauls Cathedral, "we cannot reach a consensus. Half say it's OF as in cough,half say it's OF as in dove,so at this point we don't know what the fuck to do". If no decision can be made the Cardnals will make the choice by the oldest and most sacred method in the Bible...they will flip a coin.
When asked about the matter, OF stated that cannot serve as any kind of church official because he has never molested a child,not even one.
While you have to respect his stance on not fucking children,it would be cool if a member of FC was the leader of the worlds second largest religion. Or is it the third largest? One of the top 3 for sure. Either way he could institute a world-wide FC discount if he chose to do so. Or he could outlaw pants or even Midgets if he wanted.
He could even tell the entire Christian faith to legalize marijuana or God would bitch-slap anyone who dared to defy his word. Until this matter is resolved actor Mel Gibson will act as temporary Pope. He was chosen due to the fact he made a movie about Christ and has no problems molesting children.
I take this astounding news as a sign that things are getting pretty weird in the Vatican. Or it could be a sign that I need to stop using drugs....but that ain't happening so it looks like OF will have to step up and put on his Pope-cap and robes. And you know damn well he'll be free-balling under those robes. Either that or the Mel Gibson thing.