Good morning fam! Day 5 today. Another similar night, not complete hell on earth, but not fun either. Same thing, first half soaked in sweat, and then dry but broken sleep, maybe a couple of hours...mostly at the start of the night (when sweating), and then wake up at like 3:30am and can't sleep anymore. Feeling the pressure in my head, and general low mood/fatigue....but it's bearable. I think i'll keep pushing, it's still early, I haven't even had the REM rebound yet....never dream while vaping ever, but always get REM rebound after a couple of weeks.
I have to confess, Im actualt a bit envious of all of you out there who, although mostly not exactly choosing to break, are showing the mental strength and will power and making a determined commitment.
I used to have breaks all the time, until the lasy year or just under. In the lasy 12 months I have provably had between 10 and 20 days with no weed at all. This is largely because I have canna-coconut oil in the fridge all year round now, and the stuff is just too damn easy to put in your mouth!
I have lots of days off vapor, but I just cant motivate myself mentally these days to go without weed completely. The injury to my optic nerve is a big factor here, as it has been an enormous challenge since that happened actually keeping my mind comfortably engaged in anything, especially that requires using my eyes.
And I also have major tinnitus following an ear infection 3 years ago. So the 2 together kind of makes me restless and stir crazy. Also, until last years Auto harvest, I never had nearly enough weed to last every day of the year. So I had to take spells off in order to enjoy my weed in sufficient doses.
Now thay I dont HAVE to do that, my willpower and motivation is really shit! My mental state has been really down on terms of looking forward optimistically since the injury.
But it would do me SO much good to take a full break. So big respect to you all whatever your reasons, you still have to be committed. And well done, however long you manage.
So I had my late dinner last night, aftr an amzong turn around with how I was feeling. My stomach suddenyl seemed st start working the first time this year anyway, and I had a load of bowel movements which have been blocked up and trapped for months.
I felt incredible inside my intestines. My "chi" was suddenly back. The digestive tract smooth running is vital to the flow of energy through the body.
My chest also was the best it has been this year, almost as good as it was end of December when I was the most well I have been in 12 years, before the winter setbacks occured.
My chest is still in a very "bothered" state due to the clearing of the infections from the homeopathy. It usually is still really aggravated until a few days aftr the course has finished then, Voila! Sudden improvement.
One huge diffculty I have due to poor brain functiin and fatigue, is actually cooking my food properly. I am very sensitive to undercooked foods, like potatoes and vegetables, and foods cooked with too much or not enough water, like porridge, millet etc.
The number of times I have had complete cooking "disasters", porridge too runny, too hard and rubbery, potatoes and sweet potatoes not cooked long enough.
Every time it causes a massivr digestive upset and blockage that takes days and days to resove. During which time I cant eat enough,,or digest anything, losing sleep and suffering with my chest due to intestines blocked up.
I mean at least a thousand times this has happened. I get so infuriated with myself for being such a useless twit and causing myself so much suffering, cursing "All I had to do was cook the fucking sweet potatot for another 10 minutes, but No, that's too much isnt it?"
And sod"s law, virtually every time I am suddenly feeling great inside, the next thing I cook, I let my guard down and make a stupid mistake.
Like last night. I had white potatoes already cooked which I just warmed in the oven with a tin of tuna (spring water). All I had to do was boil some sweetcorn and warm spices in coconut oil. But I massivley undercooked the sweetcorn, except I didnt even realise until I had eaten half of it. This resulted in major indigestion. I let my guard down!
Hence I decided to run a bowl of Durban Poison through my Omnivap early this smorning. I was already really stoned from the edibles I ate. So that one bowl and I was high as hell!
Got to do my morning (afternoon) steam now before getting back to my homeopathy. No more vapor until it is finished in over 2 weeks. My edibles are practically tun out, but I have saved all my Herborizer avb since August, a full tin. I think I will cook half of it up today. The best thing about it, is afger I strain as much oil as possible from the muslin into the jar, there is always a lot of coconut oil left in the herb. I add sunflower lecithin to it as well for extraction.
So to get the rest out, I put the muslin into a cup, add boiling water and squeeze out the goodness. It makes the most delicious, thick, creamy tea in the world! It is so good for the stomach and really cleanses the bowels. But you can never be sure what dose you are getting. The first cup is always overkill, like a weak dose of acid in effect (literally, I've had trips that were mild compared to these teas!)
I usually get about 3 days buzz from the muslin before I even have to start on the jar.
I just need my stomach to recover nfrom the undercooked sweetcorn now without things getting clogged up again. Should be okay,,but I will need to go most of the day without food, and Im really hungry, because I couldnt digest my dinner so technically havent really had it.
My chest still feels okay, considering I had some vapor after my dinner without doing a steam in between.
Stay strong
@biohacker I wish there was something I could do to help you get some better sleep. Just stay positive as best you can. At least you can really look forward to when you are ready to got the vapor again, although I sense that you are making a conscious effort not to be hung on that at all, and living for now as if vapor didnt even exist, which is a really healthy thing for your mind I feel and show some mental development and a renewed perspective.
)
I'll probably come back and quote some of your messages and comment because of all the awesome points made. It's like we all are on the same vibration fellas....regardless of diet, beliefs, etc..... nothing but respect.
I do empathize and know what you mean though.
Either you type really fast or use voice to text lol
