A reason I think I would benefit from medicinal mj

I have crazy anxiety. and because I was meeting this girl yesterday I stopped vaping 36h in advance. ( I don't think she is down with mj and I wanted to bring my "A" game for the conversation too.) Well, my anxiety came into full effect and once again i couldn't eat and on top of that got diarrhea (this happens when my anxiety hits hard too). I lost 5 or 6 lbs in 2 days. I felt like I was so sick and weak feeling. I still went to work, but i felt like shit. I forced my self to eat, but the process of eating made me want to puke and it didn't matter how good whatever it was. Because of the anxiety It made my stomach not want to accept food it just wanted to puke it back up. I made it through my shift, but not 8 minutes after I got out of work, I have to quickly pull over on the side of the road, and i puked.

I got home and made myself eat again cause I had lost what I had managed to eat before.

The next day:

Leading up to the date I still felt just as anxious, if not more so!

Then on our date, I didn't feel anxious at all! we walked and talked, and It was CRAZY HOT OUT I felt like i was getting heat exhaustion because I'm still weak and malnourished from basically 2 days of starvation. I felt like my skin was super red and I was sweating lots. (I had a bottle of water with me though)

then we went out to dinner, I went to the bathroom and the anxiety about eating was back! Fuck no! this cant be happening! lol so I go out, and say because it's hot out I'm just gonna get an app and a salad. our food comes out, and I'm looking at the spring rolls I ordered and wondering how the hell I am ever going to eat them... so i just kept talking for a while while she had her soup. then she went to the bathroom. so this was my chance to test the waters. I take a bite and you know what? I can hardly swallow it. I know I'm going to struggle to keep it down. This should be delicious! wtf is wrong with me?! I love spring rolls! (both fresh and fried) but here I am fighting to eat it now... i move it to the side and say to myself lets hope the salad goes better!

She came back before I could try it. But I just slowly picked at it and came clean that I have anxiety problems. She was totally cool about it and I told her that I was having a really good time with her. (I was, she is the real deal so far, she's amazing!)

After our date was over, I felt the urge to puke because that salad and bite of spring roll was the most solid things I had eaten all day. My mouth started to salivate like crazy (you know when you body is trying to make you puke? A tip don't swallow that saliva. if you do it will just keep coming and you will hurl for sure!) so i couldn't pull over right away it was bust traffic. I was heaving just trying not to puke my mouth filling with saliva. once I got to the next stop sign I open the door and spit out the biggest mouthful of saliva ever! I quickly got my vape out and got a very mild buzz going. My stomach calmed within 20 min! I have felt fine again since! and I'm back to eating again! YAY!!!

I vape every day, and I think that's what keeps these anxiety attacks away. because when I abstain and they come, my body suffers!

but then again, I was abstaining because of a social stigma. I wonder what would have happened had i blazed earlier. would I have gone though all that? or would I have still been anxious, but maybe it would have been more tolerable? I didn't want to risk it. haha

I have been on dates where the girl was down with blazing, sometimes, not always the conversation suffered after. sometimes it gets even better too, but not something I want to risk on someone so interesting.

I love reading your posts weedemon. I see a lot of parallels in our lives, and thought processes in situations. Some of us are just on a different wavelength of sorts, I agree

I've gone through the same thing with a few girls I've tried with... the same anxiousness/dilemma about medicating leading up to an actual date and the stigma that comes with our lifestyle, resulting in more complications... oh man, are you sure we aren't related? There's just way too many things for me to list that you've said, all the good points you've brought up about "people like us". You've hit the nail on the head so many times throughout your posts I'm beginning to wonder about the relation

Anyways man, thanks for this post too. I'm glad to hear you might have found yourself a keeper, I'm rooting for ya buddy!

cheers man I'd reply more but i gotta run to work. ill be back on after

I always felt that if I had to hide my medical use then I couldn't be in that relationship. So I've always been upfront and honest in my situation. That's just my two cents.

I haven't always used cannabis as medicine, like I do now. But, I have used cannabis a lot of my life. (started using cannabis when I was 18, so 27 years). Most of my life it wasn't a problem because I dated guys that also toked, but my current husband did not toke when we first met, and I knew that.

Since I really liked him, I decided it was better to get it out in the open early, to see if he was going to be a dick about it. To my surprise, he didn't care at all, and has even been able to partake on occasion. He can't do that anymore because he has random drug tests, and he says he feels guilty using my medicine, and would rather make sure I have enough for me. He's a good guy.

Great story! I can definetly relate to the whole eating problems, although not from anxiety. I really dont know what it is, in the morning it feels like if I dont vape in time after waking up I end up puking even though theres nothing in my stomach. And today I only vaped in the morning and a few hours after the buzz went away sure enough the gagging and trying not to heave started. I could still eat, it was just harder... If I didnt vape in the morning I might have not eaten at all. I might also add, I cannot eat breakfast. Even with vapor my stomach rejects food till like 1 pm.
I wish you the best luck with the girl weedemon just make sure she accepts you as a whole. Ive had problems with acceptance in the past...

Pelotron, again dude, it's just nice to hear that there are more people out there who approve of my message. I definitely feel like i minority and it's nice to receive validation for my thoughts. a while ago i resolved to try and start taking more risks and the first thing was i wanted was to voice my opinion more often. I'm polite... aka afraid to hurt peoples feelings lol! and it sucks cause it makes me censor myself sometimes. this is something im trying to change. I also want to take more risks in like. not foolish risks, but one that will pay off. like the date i went on!

ultimately, i absolutely agree with you! I want to keep no secrets with my partner. fuck that... I want to have the closest connection possible with my partner. I don't think i believe in soul mates, but I want to be as close to that as possible with my partner.

but what I am saying is I am going to break it on her lightly... It's a delicate subject. but we agree on so much already who knows! ... she is a crisis counsellor for to govt. and deals with spousal separation, addictions, abuse etc... note the underlined one lol! I'm not even a "medical" patient. it's crazy hard to get to be one here. nothing i have is serious enough to warrant it directly from my dr. he would need to send me to a specialist and even then because my dr is my dads university buddy he won't do that simply out of respect for my dad... (I assume you all are up to speed on that situation and the drama in Jan of this year?) I got busted by the cops, and disowned from my family for possession if you didn't.

I don't want to mess this up, that would totally blow...

sound like you have a keeper too "good guy" love hearing that... more hope for the younger good guys haha.



on a side note:
one of the guys at work (who I think i am incredibly a like) was telling me i gotta start going for the older women. casue in his exp the younger ones are not into anything that he is into.

again I think he and I are both really, really a like. the same way pelotron was saying before! but more interest and slightly less personality based. i think i might have a man crush haha

do you also suffer from heartburn? how is your sleep? do you have a lot of stress or suffer from depression? ime depression and anxiety are tied together and i blur the lines where I can't tell what's what when i'm going through it. Tonight I was learning about how anxiety is all about extreme feelings of vulnerability. and it was interesting to think about it in a new perspective. I also learned that though taking risks that make you vulnerable, the most rewarding things in life happen from. but it's SO HARD TO DO IT. every part of you is screaming pulling and trying to run from what you have to do.

but back to my point... sorry im stoned!

when I was working for a call centre doing tech support for pc computers with home clients as far as they cared, I was the face of the company and therefore you got verbally beat up for 8 hours... I still don't like answering the phone anymore. Anyways... I couldn't eat breakfast either. I have never had an easy time with breakfast. but i do remember it being easier in my younger years. May I recommend to you instant breakfast milkshake drinks? I love em. i get a nice big glass of milk, a bunch of vitamins and minerals (way more than regular choc milk powder) and by getting into a routine you help build up your metabolism. also do you eat you big meal late at night?? i used to do that too! if you wanna shift your diet you gotta try to not starve all day and then eat a massive meal for supper, followed by snacking all evening and into the night haha. these days i force the milk drink down every morning I believe it's one of the keys to achieving old age btw... daily stretching too!

I also got a barium swallow xray test done. turns out I have a leaky valve and if i lay on a 45degree angle it opens and stomach acid comes up giving me heartburn. it's tough but i learned to deal with that. i don't get it as often now. i try to stay of the diet i told you about earlier now though I feel healthier for it!

No heartburn, but yes I do have stress and depression, and my sleeping is out of wack. I go to bed anywhere between 10 - 3am, sometimes I dont feel sleepy when I should like after workin 6 hours, so I end up staying up till I get tired because honestly I absolutely hate laying for hours without luck. I wake up anywhere from 9 to noon usually (till the semester starts). I'm pretty sure my eating and sleeping was normal as a child. I havn't tried instant milkshakes or anything but I'll be sure to do that, if I cant eat breakfast mabye I can drink it... Thanks for the tips, I do tend to eat at night. And daily stretching is a must for me as well! I dont think I have anxiety as I cant say I feel vulnerable or anxious, Im generally very laid back and carefree of the little stupid things, but its those big things in this world and in my life that make me depressed. Honestly I feel like I'm the opposite of vulnerable when it comes to society etc., cause I dont let any of their crap get to me, or at least try not to. I simply wont let myself be sucked in to the things that I see people think should be way things are, but the world is so screwed, none of this is truly the way it was meant to be! Got a lil carried away

@Tita: Glad to be of any help possible man i see and hear a few parallels in our lives.

I also worry for our misguided world.

@ Pac:

yeah most people cant even tell when i'm stoned. I appear totally normal. (to most people... if you really know me you might be able to tell)

when the cops busted me, they even commented that i looked totally fine. they had me drive my friends car haha. (which i felt leery about, I thought it was a trap to then get me for impaired driving. it wasn't though)

yes it is a forum full of stoners. but you guys are my people! FC is different from any forum I feel I have been on. Not everyone, but I think the majority of us are very similar and think a like. I feel this is why fc is so successful, not actually the weed aspect. or perhaps the weed changes our way of thinking? I feel like i seek "connection" when im high.

We have plans for another date in a couple weeks. I think I will probably do that next time. (not abstain).

like i said I will tell her, just not quite yet.

hey weedemon, i am not belittling the use of the good herb for medical/relaxaton purpose but do you think that any of the issues maybe arise from our bodies getting so used to having THC (or some other herb related chemical) on a daily basis that it would 'rebel' (as in anxiety, depression, insomnia etc) when we don't get it?

does the convenience of relying on the herb stop us from exploring some other relief methods like meditation or mind discipline, exercise or even just gritting our teeth and enduring the 'difficult' times and hope that our bodies can adjust itself with no 'external' help?

In terms of my IBS, yes sometimes I get extra anxiety figuring out how I'm going to medicate. However, if I don't the pain could be severe. So I always have to plan according.

Adjust itself, that isn't an option. Something is wrong, and MJ helps with the symptoms. I wish everyday my body would get "adjusted" but that's not realistic. Sometimes, there are things wrong, and MJ is a powerful medicine.

@newVaper420

thanks. i should have qualified my statement; for some others with more serious and un-normal body issues, yeah, the herb is certainly good help.

From personal experience and mostly because anxiety is one of the major things I have to keep at bay, just to stay alive....

DO WHATEVER YOU CAN AND IS EFFECTIVE, TO RELIEVE IT.

After having my chest cracked open, 13 hours of surgery, multitudes of side-effects from the surgery and medications... anxiety scares me the most (it makes my pulse run, pulse running to much = me dead). I had my first honest-to-God anxiety attack about 8 months ago. It felt like I was dying. I thought, I was dying. I don't ever want to go thru that again.

Do what you have to do... but, do not succumb to it... and DO NOT let anyone ever tell you, to "get over it", or its just a "little stress".

when anxiety gets a hold of you it is a dominating force absolutely! My sisters both have crazy anxiety too. I think it's how we were raised. my mom is a great loving person, but she is also scared and passed on her quirks to us thought raising us.

See, I come from a different perspective. I didn't know what the heck anxiety was, before 3 years ago. Sure, I dealt with stress... but it was easier to compartmentalize back then. When I had my aortic dissection, one of the surgeons, said I suffered at least 2 major strokes (pre and post surgery) and that I had anywhere from dozens to literally hundreds of mini-strokes.

While I don't suffer any obvious physical effects of the strokes, its blatantly obvious to me, that my brain works differently now. I know it at least completely wiped out my memory of that night and the next week afterwards. I space out a little bit more to. Not to the point of not "being there"... but just trapped in thought.

Nope... anxiety is new to me and its the most unpleasant thing I've had to deal with, since that night. Nausea is close, but I don't get it regular and is protein based with me (drinking a glass of milk before bed, helps me with it, most of the time). I know when I need to med up, with anxiety... because it feels like a bulldozer is parked on my chest.

The one and only panic attack I had, came without ANY warning. In fact, I remember... I was having a pretty good day. I felt physically OK and was in good spirits. Nothing in particular weighing on my mind. I remember sitting on the bed and I stood up. That's when it hit. The first sensation I had, felt similar to the sensation of my dissection, which felt kind of like the world's largest rubber-band was stretched across the house and snapped on my chest. It almost knocked me off my feet (the anxiety attack).

So as soon as I feel this familiar pain, that triggers some panic. Suddenly ALL my extremities go cold and numb. Now, this is a common occurrence with a panic attack. Lots of people complain of this same symptom. However, a dissection is the same sensation. Your aorta is torn inside and blood is pouring out into your trunk section, or its creating giant aneurysms (which is what it did in my case, besides tearing the entire length of my aorta). But, anyways... with a dissection, your blood is not going to your extremities. Same numb feeling. Now, I'm doubly panicked.

Thankfully, my brain was working well enough, that I started going through a mental checklist. I started logically thinking through what was going on and working it out, that I wasn't dying. First thought was, "hey... I can think logically... if this were a dissection, I'd be croaking right now." BTW, let that sink in, with those, that accuse myself and my posts of being out-of-control and/or "emotionally charged", instead of just taking them at face-value. I'm not that complicated. When you can talk yourself down from a panic attack, being measured and tactical in what/how you say something, is chump's work.

Anyways, I wanted to share my panic attack, don't know if you've ever had a full-blown one, but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Try and remember, stay calm and talk yourself thru it. Easier said than done... but, if you just stay grounded physically (sit still) and mentally (deep breaths) you will get thru it.

Was thinking of you today and just wanted to check in and see how your day(s) went? Anxiety sucks!

thank you for sharing that man! you've got me beat i think, but i can at least relate dude...

I have only felt the full effect of an anxiety attack once before. (back in 2007. I wanted to just jump off the balcony of my apartment just to end the feeling) and I would never wish it upon anyone. the gravity in your chest that wont release. feels like your chest will burst. no cold extremities for me, but uncontrollable able cold sweats from the nausea are there. cant stay still, it like adrenaline is rushing through me or something... i get shaky.

well this week has been retarded (it's over another new girl who i feel even more strongly for than the last one). I am insanely stressed but its over pressure of something possibly incredibly good. the stress and fear of fucking what I have begun up is playing havoc with my eating again. no full on attack, but it's taking it's toll. I am also averaging about 3 h of sleep a day this week. Normally i need 6-8 a day so it's uncommon for me to be this tired.

this week i've lost 12 lbs! so i took a step back and considered what I have eaten.

Sunday (my last meal)
- 2 cheapo burgers from McD's
- 3 fruit cups.
- 2 coffee

Monday
-one glass of milk + 3 scoops of instant breakfast powder
- 1 fruit cup

Tuesday
- one slice of pizza
- half a bowl of yogurt

Wednesday
-1 glass of milk, plus the powdered mix
-1 cookie my best friends gf made.

Thursday
- instant breakfast drink
- bowl of yogurt
- 1 cob of corn (no butter or anything)
-2 bited of a veggie burger my buddy made (that was all i could manage)

Friday
- nothing yet. milk in a few h...

And... tons of water. lol it's the only thing that doesn't make me feel bad.

it's so hard to eat when your mind see's it all as disgusting and the process of trying to eat makes you physically ill. my roommate cooked bacon and it smells amazing. but if i were to try any I know what would happen...

I get this when I don't medicate ... can't eat, can't sleep (the eating's the worst). It sets in about 24h after stopping (maybe a little less), and no matter how hungry I feel, I take one bite, and then can't swallow I'm so full and bloated and feel like it's going to come up. This passes usually in 2-3 days. My solution is to just try not to take a break

I REALLY don't like to go out without medicating, or be in any social situation ... then I just really don't feel like myself and really feel like an outsider ... which causes way too much stress ... MJ makes me feel "less different," ... in some ways I think it gives people a break ... it's easier for people to accept that I'm a little different with the thought of: "it's just because he's a pothead ... (and a programmer) ..." ... giving people an excuse for why I'm different makes myself and them feel less uncomfortable then not having an excuse ... I've found people are more comfortable with the fact that I'm high than crazy (bipolar ).

Bit of a double-edged sword for me ... the stigma attached to MJ makes people ostracize me more, yet if I don't use MJ, then I ostracize myself which is worse!

Your daily diet sounds about like mine. Though, usually my nausea only effects my early morning stomach and sometimes, real late night. Like, if I decide to have a glass of milk at midnight, sometimes as soon as it hits my stomach, I regret it.

My daily menu, with whatever I eat, is typically limited to one meal a day. My body doesn't tell me I'm hungry and my brain doesn't trigger, that it hasn't eaten in 24 hours. Though, I found a nice indica strain, that doesn't knock me out too bad and actually gives me the munchies.

I just typically don't like indica. Too heavy a med for me. I appreciate the pain relief, it just typically slows my brain functions down to slightly above moron... so I tend to avoid.

I feel for psychological issues such as anxiety should be treated with education on coping skills. While I do support the "medicinal" in specific situations such as pain, anxiety(temporary agitation), nausea, or lack of appetite, situations like this should be experienced and people should learn to control anxiety.

I dont feel that it should be a way to rid yourself of anxiety to talk to a girl everytime. There is a much bigger underlying condition that I feel that you should fix the root cause rather than doing a temporary mask.

but that is just my opinion

By the way. I am not against recreational use. I just feel that it should not be used "medicinally" in situations like this. you need to fix the problem, not mask it.
and if it is used for anxiety it should be used as a temporary fix.

And sometimes, you just have to accept. That people are wired differently. Its easy to say, there's an underlying problem... treat it.

Whole 'nother ball game fixing it. Sometimes, it just can't be fixed.

I think that's a generalization. My Dr. would have me on lithium, antidepressants, antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, ... for my bipolar (type II rapid cycling). I chose to get another opinion and another Dr. who was willing to work with me on my choice to use cannabis instead. I feel a lot more in control and a lot more aware of my current states (which often are largely out of my hands ... I can only try to mitigate extremes through increased self-awareness and trying to avoid triggers at the wrong times ...) Cannabis does not make me no longer depressed or manic or anxious or whatever, it just helps me be more comfortable in my own skin and able to enjoy the moment without getting too caught up or concerned about what I've done, am doing, or might do later. Cannabis is a tool to help me manage my moods, but is not a solution. That being said, it is a part of my long term health plan, similar to someone else who might choose to be on lithium for the rest of their lives; but I personally feel cannabis is a better option as long as more serious options aren't required.

Cannabis doesn't get rid of symptoms like anxiety, or depression, or even chronic pain, it just makes them manageable. If one chooses to use a couple grams of cannabis daily instead of prescription pills or opiates, and it works, who are we to judge? It is not our place to say "how much pain is enough pain" or "how much anxiety is enough anxiety" to justify one's medical need. I wish I still got the recreational type high, especially when playing music, but unfortunately, consistent medication everyday works better for my symptoms, but one of the downsides is that I don't really get that "traditional high" anymore ...

Fixing the root cause of chronic depression, anxiety, etc. for many people is a never ending life long journey, why shouldn't cannabis be included in that therapy if it helps? (My bipolar condition isn't magically just going to go away, but I do get regular counseling, as well as use marijuana, as part of my ongoing, lifelong, therapy) ... anyways, I'm rambling!

thats why we ATTEMPT to fix the problem. obviously if you cant fix it you use something that will help manage it.

Have you ever tried any coping treatment with anxiety? I know there are alot of practices that can be used and I feel that the only way to get rid of anxiety is to experience and try to maintain a positive outlook.

But people with already predisposing underlying psychiatric conditions is a different story. Alot of the meds they can take can cause anxiety alone, which they are prescribed anti-anxiolytics which is a whole different story. Studying the S/E of those drugs are pretty scary alone imo

but the ways of treatment are always prioritized as determine root-> non pharmalogical treatment -> pharmalogical treatment.

I do agree with pain and anxiety being subjective and it is not for us to determine, but if people use this as a crutch for daily activities, without any attempt to fix it... then its different

I just wanted to give my 2c for the OP in regards to using this as the only way to deal with anxiety. but I know plenty of people who use alcohol to relieve the anxiety of talking to girls in the bar and what not. It just sounds what OP is suffering from, he needs to seek help if it is that bad.

I get that. I think we're kind of past that, at this point however.

Not anything to quibble over.

Not sure about everyone else ... but ongoing personal work on increasing self-awareness and mitigating negative aspects of my condition is a constant battle for me that I work on regardless of if I have MJ or not ... I'm just happier and more successful with it. I also see a counselor regularly to make sure I stay on track and my wandering thoughts and ideas don't take me too far astray!