Hello mate, thank you for such a thorough, insightful and warm response. Im always interested in your journey and experience and you have filled in so many gaps to quell my curiosity, big thanks for that.
Thanks so much my bro! You are such a kindred spirit and I consider you the "Guardian Angel" of FC!!!
Haha, I think I see myself more as the Pet Philisopher!
Much has changed since we've conversed last...
I have no doubt. The same for myself, although outwardly much may appear the same, I have actually radically changed my personality for the better and woken up on so many levels to who I really am since our last contacts.
I was a total dick in many ways on these forums for a long time, I had really lost sight of who I am. I have reconnected with my true identity again now, maybe more than ever although I'm still in an incredibly difficult situation in life and nowhere near running on full cylinders or anywhere near my true potential as a person.
Beforehand I was a dick, now I'm just ME! (I'm not distinguishing btw)
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Or maybe it's the CBD! Who knows...who cares really lol
Exactly, it doesn't really matter and truthfully it probably isn't anything specifically as such you just did everything you could and really went the extra mile to try and cover all bases and all in all it paid off and enabled transformation which has stability to create a new pattern and existence in your body and reality. Again well done for that, remember to enjoy and take nothing for granted.
I feel you, as you know I went down that route HARD, and now I HATE rosin! lol So I do empathize, but those contaminants just don't work for me. Shame you don't have access to cleaner extracts like live resin or full spectrum extract, but you know that your homegrown works for you, so jus
I was really dreadfully disappointed at the time because I had high hopes that rosin would be an answer for me on paper which it should be be but I honestly don't think it would make any difference however pure the extracts are I'm not saying those impurities aren't a problem but I'm pretty sure my immune system would just be reacting to extracts in any form.
I just had to accept that rosin was not for me.
Oh man, please do be careful with that Kratom! Those cannabinoids are TOO STRONG! lol I personally wouldn't touch it, but I know someone that has... and they legit tripped so hard I thought they were going to go insane! Withdrawals can be MUCH harder than cannabis too.
Yes I was really surprised by the power of kratom I have heard of it since a long time ago but never really looked into it mostly because of my inability to tolerate drugs or herbs without excessive respiratory mucus and aggravation in every case.
But I was really surprised when I tried it recently at the power of the herb. It's an interesting one and by no means black and white it does appear from everything I have researched on it and heard from others of all backgrounds with various usage Histories,, on the whole to be be generally more beneficial and positively transformative for many lives and health conditions than it is harmful or problematic.
So I do believe that in general it's gives more than it takes but there are exceptions and caveats, and it's extremely individual.
I am actually pretty confident about not having any major problem with kratom I do still react to it adversely with my typical respiratory reaction which is the case with virtually all medicinal herbs and actually the kratom is much easier to tolerate then many others I have tried including all the non-psychoactive ones as well.
So taking the kratom does make my life harder when it comes to managing my symptoms but this is at least balanced some what's by the modification I have made to my cannabis usage specifically less vapor and longer periods between sessions, with a lower tolerance and better effects with less symptom management required for the cannabis usage specifically.
So I have more incentive to break from kratom when I feel it is necessary or essential than most people and it will be harder for me to be motivated to continue with any sort of long-term real addiction when I have to manage these extra respiratory symptoms.
More than anything in life my mental frame of mind has been really killing me with hopeless deep depression and I also have developed the most severe anxiety disorder over the past 2 years related to many factors and situations in life and largely physical to do with the optic nerve injury problem I still contend with.
My mental experience of life has been total torture with an inability to cope with anxiety and depression and I have desperately felt the need for some form of medication natural or prescription which can assist an impossible to handle situation and bodily condition like my own where nobody else with this type of multiple condition and mindset would be without some form of medication natural or otherwise to ease things.
But with my allergies and intolerances the only psychoactive substance I have been using for all of these years is cannabis even a cup of cocoa once a day would make the world of difference to my ability to relax and feel positive but I just can't tolerate cocoa powder at all or any other medicinal herbs I have have tried for relaxation stress and anxiety.
So this is where the kratom has really been shining for me because for the first time in all the years of illness I have been able to completely relax physicallyally when I am experiencing the effects with an enormous reduction in my anxiety.
It has helped me to achieve much better quality sleep and generally a much higher level of relaxation round the clock.
Even if this is arguably drug-induced it's nonetheless has been incredibly therapeutic for me just to be able to let go and relax and feel happy and enjoy parts of the day and certain activities.
Having that more positive enjoyable and comfortable experience has been necessary to really take the edge off of the trauma and stress I have been through.
So I have just allowed myself to explore the herb for the meantime but I'm certain that soon enough I will need to revert to occasional use like once or twice a week or even less often which will still be a privilege to be able to access a thoroughly enjoyable psychoactive experience on occasion.
Regarding the kratom withdrawals I have read and heard a lot from many people on this and my intuition is telling me that it probably isn't quite so bad really and I'm confident about not getting myself into any position I cannot manage or get out of, but I do appreciate the warnings of course, echoed by many.
One of the really interesting thing about the kratom which makes it similar to cannabis in many ways is the wide variety of different strains with varying profiles of active compounds, with different effects with certain strains be more suited for specific conditions or individuals or occasions or simply times of the day.
Mixing and matching keeps things fresh and helps with tolerance as well so it's very similar and analogous to cannabis in that sense.