Have I told you guy's how much those blow? They blow like dorkus, seriously - if any of you know dorkus then you know what I'm talking about!
when I am on the clock, 'Gay for pay' I wanna make sure you get your $$$$ worth. No sneaky little tricks like a pinky finger up yr bum to get it over & done with quickly.
Im all quality baby & take this sort of thing quite seriously! Even took up sword swallowing to sort out my pesky & annoying gag reflex & practiced inhaling a golf ball thru 20ft of garden hose.
Sure Ima prolly stealing yr wallet while Im doing ya, but hey I blame my convict heritage.
If want me to put on a dress & call me Charlene, thats extra.
You want me to wax or shave anything, thats extra.
you wanna stick strange things up my bum, thats extra. (I usually charge on a sliding scale involving inches/ diameter, so 'prices on enquiry' for that sort of thing.)
You wanna give me flowers & take me dancing? throw in dinner & ill throw in a freebie.