Imagine youre trying to pee in between these two shaking dudes, and they both turn at the same time & say 'hey arent you Dorkus_molorkus famous vapor legend?'
Now not only are my toes swimming in a golden shower but due to the shakes these guys have, I now need a rain coat, some goggles & a snorkel. (ship- back off the asparagus dude, it tastes weird)
Steel capped boots & a HAZMAT suit is the only way to fly!
my wife would regale you all with various tales, all of which would involve a violent expulsion of fluids at the most inopportune times. (back to the open toed shoe thing- you have been warned)
or perhaps the time I put a love bite smack bang in the middle of her forehead (think big red angry curry dot) & we went to some hippy markets (unfortunately the hippies for sale were of very poor quality)
While we were there, half a dozen tie dyed, sandlewood reeking, dreadlock sporting, mung bean eating, smelly hippies stalked my wife offering her all sorts of poultices, creams and soaps for her terrible skin condition.
or when I told our son that Santa had stopped by & I thought it was a home invasion and beat santa to death with a baseball bat & subsequently buried him under the floorboards. So obviously there will be massive big bags of presents from Santa no longer.
Cuz that mofo got his ass capped!
What can I say, Ima natural parent!