Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

Tweek

Well-Known Member
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Tweek

Well-Known Member
Imagine what it's like on a 9 hour flight! Worst experience of my life (and I've been to a Barbara Streisand concert!).

:peace:


I had one of those moments. I popped way too many immodium and couldn't shit for a week afterward. I still remember this dude trying to start up a friendly conversation with me, while I sweat and shivered my ass off in pain. I kept thinking "shut the fuck up dude...attempting mind over matter here!"

Now I eat very light when flying. :D
 

Tweek

Well-Known Member
Yeah, pretty much. Some of the stories are pretty good...so good, that I might want to try and publish them some day. So I gotta hold onto my gems of poop.
 

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
When I was in high school I was a bit of a hooligan. One day my friends and I we're aimlessly roaming the school hallways when a fucking janitor decided to say "don't you shits belong in class". After the comment he went on moping the hallways and said to my friends "did that cock sucker just call us shits?"

So, the dbag I was I decided to to the other side of the building in which the floors were still wet from the previous moping that he did before setting over for the other side! Little mvapes decided the proper repayment for his rant was to squat trout right there and drop a duece on his beloved floor!

After we sat on steps waiting for his return when he screamed M%^$ ST*&%^$ I know it was you you little bastard!

I stared in enjoyment and just smiled back at him. Those were the days....
 

satyrday

Well-Known Member
I used to shit in a paper bag when I lived in a cabin with no working facilities. Then I would throw it into the woods. Didn't live there too long needless to say. Try aiming shit into a brown paper lunch bag and not pissing all over the floor. Can't even remember how I did it. I think I would piss outside first quickly, but didn't want to risk the full shit-in-the-dark with bears and possibly worse around. Might have even hit a bear with a shit-bag. Can't believe I had an opportunity to tell that story internationally. I should get the Pulitzer not you, Tweek. You were a day late and dollar short with your Canadian Shit Tales.

log-cabin-in-the-woods_40_zpsccb4b348.jpg

^not even close to looking like the cabin
 

Tweek

Well-Known Member
Why did you waste your time with a paper bag? I would have just gone outside and taken a dump in the woods. You were scared of the bears, weren't you? :spliff:
 
Tweek,
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satyrday

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A cabin in a valley, as picturesque as that sounds, was not a good idea in those parts. Mosquitoes were terrible. Never actually saw a bear around there, but every creak or sound of a snapping twiglet and I was sure one was nearby. I'm talking after dark, mind you. I'd get my business done elsewhere during the day.
 
satyrday,
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Tweek

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lol I grew up in Northern Ontario, surrounded by bobcats, foxes, bears, moose, deer, turtles, etc, etc. Bears are pretty shy and I have only encountered a handful face to face (scary still, but thankfully black bears are fairly shy). The big mistake most hikers/campers make, is underestimating the power of mother nature. It's beautiful but it requires respect for sure.
 
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