Hi,I'd like to briefly share my story with the Vapcap. It profoundly changed my life...Recently I was put into a state psychiatric center for Suicidal Ideation (I had been struggling with depression and panic attacks for years along with the demon spirits, alcohol.) So I did what any drunk suicidal person that wanted some hope would do, and went to my local outreach center. Well that has turned out to be a HUGE changing point in my life, long story somewhat short, they court ordered me to a state psychiatric center, inside they had me take powerful medication; Haldol, Phenobarbitol, and Modifinil For 7 days. (They have me wrongly diagnosed as Schizophrenic and Psychotic at the Local outreach center)...Anyways, Despite me saying "I think the patients are staff members." During my final interview with the Doctor (Which I now recognize and distinguish as a subthreshold delusion caused by Haldol and perhaps Modifinil, I was discharged at 11:00 P.M. Where I was taxied to a one room bus station, Alone I waited for 2 1/2 hours with nothing but a camera watching me, I began to have paranoid dellusional thoughts that I tried to ignore. As I got on the bus I began to think the Bus station drivers worked for the Hospital, I got home around 4:30 AM. Later that day I went and got my prescriptions filled, All except for Modifinil (which wasn't covered by my insurnece) And I had filled a bottle of Cybalta and took that along with Haldol.
I walked home from the pharmacy that afternoon and decided to go out back to use the Vapcap, I had many interviews with the "Doctor" I stated "I am an inveterate cannabis use, are you sure it's safe to mix with these medications?" He replied many times, "Should be no problem." ....well after 2-3 hits off the vapcap, I had a full blown 3 1/2 day psychosis, the peak of which lasted for about 1 1/2 hours, I had full hallucinations and dellusions consisting of thinking people could read my mind, rays of light coming out of two social workers heads.
I changed in 10 minutes from being an adult to being a little child playing with a bug on a piece of paper, then to histracilly laughing...then for the remainder of the 3 days I was convinced that 3 seperate hospitals I had been in were all a Government mind control research program, keeping track of me with security cameras, about day 3-4 I began to return to reality. Now that I am back to normal, since I broke the court order refusing to take medication, the outreach center is taking me to court on Tuesday at 9AM (wish me luck), However a few strange things have happened one was during the middle of the psychotic break (the out reach center is right beside my house so i went back there as soon as i began to lose my mind thinking they would help me. They witnessed the entire episode.) During it I pulled out my phone and used a digital version of the IChing, I got hexagram 43 "Break-Through" I flipped coins digitally in unision to the ticking of the clock and the energy coming out of the social workers heads....That helped me actually to have read the Judgment the Iching gave me (I'll post it below.)
The other strange thing is now that I am off all substance and medication, My memory is improved 110%, I can remember things I've never been able to remember in my life. Names, Phone numbers, places, details...I feel clear and focused, no panic attacks, no depression... Whatever happened has changed me for life, Now I fear they will try to put me in a Chemically induced prison...I hope this isn't the case. Thank you for reading this, Please wish me goodluck on Tuesday. Unfortunately, Now I can't use cannabis for at least 8 months- 1 year.
-Jordan
A.K.A
-"R.P. McMurphy"
The Value Of A Psychotic Experience
"Listen, wait, and be patient. Every shaman knows you have to deal with the fire that's in your audience's eye. " -Ken Kesey
P.S. (notes)
HEXAGRAM NUMBER FORTY-THREE –
RESOLUTENESS, BREAK-THROUGH
Other titles: Break-through, The Symbol of Decision, Resolution, Determination, Parting, Removing Corruption, Eradication
Judgment
Legge: Recognizing the risks involved in criminal prosecution, justice demands a resolute proof of the culprit's guilt in the royal court. One informs one's own city that armed force is not necessary. In this way progress is assured.
Wilhelm/Baynes:Break-through. One must resolutely make the matter known at the court of the king. It must be announced truthfully. Danger. It is necessary to notify one's own city. It does not further to resort to arms. It furthers one to undertake something.
Blofeld: Resolution. When a proclamation is made at the court of the King, frankness in revealing the true state of affairs is dangerous.
[In vital matters, frankness may prove dangerous.] In making announcements to the people of his own city, it is not fitting for the ruler to carry arms.
[It is better to repose trust in our own people.] It is favorable to have some goal (or destination).
The hexagram is linked with the third month of the Chinese Zodiac [April-May]."