Weird News Stories of the Day.....

[macbill]

Potty-mouthed parrot posse kicked out of zoo for cursing at visitors

A group of five newly acquired parrots at Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in the UK are being booted from the zoo after squawking obscenities at visitors.

After being quarantined together for several days last month due to the coronavirus outbreak, the bold birds had apparently taught each other a colorful vocabulary of curse words.


https://nypost.com/2020/09/29/parrot-posse-kicked-out-of-zoo-for-cursing-at-visitors/

 

[RUDE BOY]

One of my neighbors inherited a parrot that greets you with "Screw you asswipe" or "Such a dickhead" in an accent that sounds like it was raised in Boston.

 

[macbill]

Things not looking up?​

Male chastity gadget hack could lock users in​

A security flaw in a hi-tech chastity belt for men made it possible for hackers to remotely lock all the devices in use simultaneously.
The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

 

[bulllee]

Things not looking up?​

Male chastity gadget hack could lock users in​

A security flaw in a hi-tech chastity belt for men made it possible for hackers to remotely lock all the devices in use simultaneously.
The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

Troubling, very troubling JAJAJA

 

[FlyingLow]

I don't have the nerve to read that article... just reading the headlines gave me a panic attack.

 

[florduh]

I don't have the nerve to read that article...

That's ok. No one who used the device has the balls to read it anymore either. Literally.

 

[bulllee]

World’s Oldest Edible Ham​

Isle of Wight County Museum
Smithfield, Virginia

The 118-year-old piece of pork wears a brass collar and was once a man's "pet ham."​

THE 118-YEAR-OLD HAM, WHICH IS reportedly the oldest in the world, was originally cured in 1902 by the Gwaltney Foods meat company before it was lost in storage. On its rediscovery two decades later, the elated Pembroke D. Gwaltney Jr. made the piece of pork his “pet ham.” He put a brass collar on it and paraded it around various expositions to prove to customers his meat could be kept without being refrigerated.
The dry curing process used to create the ham involved salting the meat and draining the blood, which allows for a longer shelf life and a richer flavor. Supposedly, microbiologists say the ham is technically still edible. However, it isn’t a delicacy anyone would enjoy pigging out on, as the taste and sensory experience of the cured ham may not appeal to modern palates. The appearance of the ham itself has garnered comparisons to dried leather and an expired human arm.
The ham is housed in the Isle of Wight County Museum, which is also home to the world’s oldest peanut. It occupies a climate-controlled display case with two other hams, one of which is purportedly the largest ham in the world. A nonstop, live-streamed “ham cam” allows anyone to keep up to date with the preserved pork, as does the ham’s Twitter account.
The town of Smithfield, Virginia is well-known across the United States for its cured hams. Smithfield Foods, a large pork producer, is headquartered in the town, and is the company of which Gwaltney Foods is an antecedent.
ATLAS OBSCURA EXPERIENCES

 

[florduh]

Only the Best People.

Brad Parscale cried during arrest, told officers his wife won’t have sex with him​

Brad Parscale reportedly broke down in tears while in police custody last month — admitting to an officer that his wife was not being intimate with him.

President Trump’s former campaign manager was allegedly armed and threatening to harm himself when he made the marital disclosure to the cops.

“I just couldn’t accept she isn’t having sex with me,” Parscale sobbed to a female police officer at a hospital after his Sept. 27 meltdown at his Fort Lauderdale home, according to newly released police body cameras recordings obtained by The Daily Mail.

 

[CANtalk]

Priest recorded having group sex on altar of Pearl River church, police say; 3 arrested

Pastor, adult film actor and dominatrix for hire, another woman booked with obscenity

www.nola.com

 

[Summer]

The longer you watch this, the odder it seems:

Here's the backstory:

The Flaming Lips performed a concert with the band and fans encased in plastic bubbles

It's unclear whether The Flaming Lips are using jelly -- or vaseline, for that matter -- at their concerts these days. The rock band is, however, trying plastic bubbles.

amp.cnn.com

 

[Krazy]

Things not looking up?​

Male chastity gadget hack could lock users in​

A security flaw in a hi-tech chastity belt for men made it possible for hackers to remotely lock all the devices in use simultaneously.
The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.

I don't have the nerve to read that article... just reading the headlines gave me a panic attack.

Took yours off in a hurry?

 

[macbill]

Don't Let Your Meat Loaf! Learn to Multitask!

New Yorker Writer Suspended After He Was Caught Masturbating On Zoom Call With Colleagues​

Jeffrey Toobin, a staff writer for The New Yorker and CNN's chief legal analyst, was suspended Monday after he was caught masturbating during a Zoom call with colleagues who were preparing for coverage of the 2020 election.

============================================================================================

Giuliani pulls a "Toobin"​

‘Beyond cringe’: Rudy Giuliani buried in ridicule after Borat catches him with hands down his pants​

The Guardian reported on Wednesday that “the former New York mayor and current personal attorney to Donald Trump is seen reaching into his trousers and apparently touching his genitals while reclining on a bed in the presence of” 24-year-old actress Maria Bakalova after being caught in a sting operation for Sacha Baron Cohen’s new “Borat” film.

Rudy will leave no stones unturned in his search for evidence against Hunter & Joe Biden, including his own.

 

[Summer]

Delta Air Lines passenger claims she woke up to pastor urinating on her

This is probably the worst wake-up call ever.

www.foxnews.com

 

[bulllee]

Delta Air Lines passenger claims she woke up to pastor urinating on her

This is probably the worst wake-up call ever.

www.foxnews.com

Oh my. Just another Ambian experience I'm guessing. I had just had my knee replacement and they gave me Ambian for sleep and a shitload of Dilaudid for pain. That night they had to subdue me in restraints. I have no recollection at all except waking up in restraints. It seems I pulled my tubes and decided I needed to go for a walk. They found me naked walking down the corridor. So I can see how this can happen. There's a lot more Ambian stories out there. It's a crazy drug.

 

[Shrike]

^^^ To paraphrase Dave Chappelle as Rick James..."Ambien...it's a hell of a drug"

 

[bulllee]

Vienna man fined 500 euros for deliberate 'massive flatulence'​

Vienna (AFP) - Austrian police fined a man 500 euros for loudly breaking wind after officers stopped him earlier this month to check his identity.

The police defended the massive fine saying he had deliberately emitted a "massive flatulence," lifting his backside from the bench where he was sitting.

The accused complained of what he called the disproportionate and unjustified fine when he gave his account of the June 5 events on the O24 news website.

In reply to social media commentaries that followed, the police in the Austrian capital justified their reaction on Twitter.


"Of course, nobody is put on the spot if one slips out by accident," the police said.

However, in this case, the police said, the young man had appeared "provocative and uncooperative" in general.

He then "slightly raised himself from the bench, looked at the officers and patently, in a completely deliberate way, emitted a massive flatulence in their immediate proximity."

The police said the man can challenge the fine in the legal system.

 

[macbill]

Ha-ha. I mean, so, so sad...​

Las Vegas van passenger shoves cyclist to her death — then fatally falls out of window​

A man randomly shoved a Las Vegas cyclist to her death from the window of a minivan — only to fall out of the vehicle himself and die, according to police.

 

[macbill]

Jerry Falwell Jr. is suing Liberty University after his forced resignation over sex scandal​

Former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. filed a state lawsuit Wednesday against the evangelical school founded by his father, claiming he was wrongly ousted from his leadership post.

 

[FlyingLow]

LOL this story has been such pure gold the last few weeks!
Cheers to Jr. Fuckwit for continuing to keep his scandal front-page news!

 

[florduh]

Jerry Falwell Jr. is suing Liberty University after his forced resignation over sex scandal​

Former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. filed a state lawsuit Wednesday against the evangelical school founded by his father, claiming he was wrongly ousted from his leadership post.

LOL this story has been such pure gold the last few weeks!
Cheers to Jr. Fuckwit for continuing to keep his scandal front-page news!

If you haven't watched the Righteous Gemstones on HBO, I highly recommend it. They based the Gemstones on the Falwell family. Really funny, good show. Can't wait for the next season, especially after all this Falwell shit going on.

 

[macbill]

Trump-loving pastor who blamed COVID-19 on fornication dies from COVID-19​

An end-times pastor who blamed premarital sex for the coronavirus has died from the coronavirus.

The ministry did not disclose how Baxter became infected with the deadly virus.

===========================================================================================
Merry F**king Christmas

Radio Stations Make Early Flip to All-Christmas Music, Seeking Holiday — and Ratings — Cheer​

Christmas is now underway on radio across the country, as stations flip to all-holiday formats a bit earlier than usual.

 

[macbill]

Howling ‘Monster Wolf’ robots installed in Japan to scare away bears​

Dozens of red-eyed “Monster Wolf” robots were set up in Japanese towns to scare off bears and deer that were overrunning local homes or destroying crops.

 

[FlyingLow]

Is it weird that I am gleefully over the moon about presidential decorum returning to US politics?

SCIENCE WINS!

 

[ChooChooCharlie]

Howling ‘Monster Wolf’ robots installed in Japan to scare away bears​

Dozens of red-eyed “Monster Wolf” robots were set up in Japanese towns to scare off bears and deer that were overrunning local homes or destroying crops.

@macbill , that story buried the lead:

Howlin' Wolf Resurrected! Now touring Japan!

Says booze killed him, and he's switched to concentrates

 

[macbill]

Trucker group threatens nationwide strike over Biden election​

A group that describes itself as a "banded group of brothers and sisters" who want "to show America who runs the country," is threatening to shut down America's trucking system over issues connected to the election of President-Elect Joe Biden.