@chris 71 you are a nice guy very clearly. And you seem genuine and honest, and I like the way you put things so well, without being too complicated. I need a touch of that myself actually!
I really hope you can heal and love a good life and make great progress with your graves.
You already sound much more positive. I can ceratinly accept the notion that your cannabis use is working as a vital prop in maintaining balance and "homeostasis" as they say.
I do also think it is possible that the CBD oil was causing a dramatic healing reaction in you as it challenged your immune and possibly nervous system disorder.
CBD will be very powerful in some cases as it taps in to fix things.
Just a posssibility, not trying to advise you at all on what ro do. But I do believe tnere are cases where health issues make regular cannabis use more than beneficial, somethimes vital!
I genuinely believe that my use of clean weed over the last 12 years I have been unwell, played a large role over the years protecting me from more serious problems from the Lyme Disease.
Cannabis supreses Lyme and balances the nervous system irregularities.
I am actually very healthy underneath my current problems, despite highly restricted options for diet and supplement.
Im not arguing at all against the merits of breaking from weed, for the right reasons,,but at needs to be at the right time, and right for the indivdual.
Like fasting, it can have detrimental effects if the person is not in a ready condition for it, mentally prepared enough, or in my case actual fasting, needing the food and not the fast, the wrong course of action for me at the time.
I dont mean to draw this analogy directly, it just occured. It might sound like I am creeping in with an in denial stance, against the concept of breakning from weed.
But I think you know what I mean? Sometimes it dan be dangerous to break from weed, or too suddenly, for too long, without sufficient props and support.
And especially when there is a major physical condition which cannabinoids are holding at bay, and healing at same time.
@biohacker , sorry you are going through the wars at least every other day. Vut you are having good days!!
And pretty often I would say! Good days are gold. This has just come to me, this concept. Count your good days, mark them on a calender, it is a great representation of how well you are doing, how far away you are.
These past 5 years, I have not really had ANY good days! Perhaps once in a blue moon, of feeling normal, relaxed, happy, well. And then not again for many many months if even within a year.
Before I got the permanent coxsackie viruses, that I keep geting again and again, in 2012, I did have lots of good days. I think I have forgot what good days are like lately, or that they even exist.
So hang in there man there are lots of good signs. You wont be able to see the full perspective on things right now, despite all your intution, intelligence, wisdom and vast knowledge base (way bigger than mine). You are in a compromised condition which is affecting you mentally. You know this I know that!
But it can still help when others can offer words of assurance and advice. And mine is to take some pressure off yourself. You dont need to know all the answers right now. Just keep gping in the right direction and let go as much as possible, and trust that things are progressing, and that no matter what there will be a viable and manageable route to follow, even if it invloves a "lesser evil" element until further options appear.
I dont mean to try and tell you anyhing Bro about what to think and believe and do. You know so so much man. In my case my enthusiasm for learning about things, health wise etc, has been massively stunted by the fact that .i can barely consume anything out there, food and medicine, supplement, diet wise etc.
So everything is just a tease, so I have to take my mind off these things and infos- it torments me when everytnimg is such a problem, useless info to assimilate.
So I really cant advise you bro. But I just feel I can be similar to you mentally in various situations. And I recognise and feel things in people, knowing I have been there, angusishing with the situation unable to let go of it mentally, just looking at a distance point and there seems to be no steady relief.
So yeah, not sure what Im trying to say really, just trying to help you with perspective. Im looking from a totally different angle right now, so maybe not at all helpful, as Im keepimg stoned moderately. I am going to Natasha on May 17, and can start my next homeopathy any time on whatever actual coxsackie viruses I did pick up recently.
So I will have another 30 day vapor break coming up in May or June. I would like to do a full break for 30 days. I used to do it all the time. And I could easily leave the edibles alone, except they just sort out my stomach and get me capable of eating food and moving bowles, like nothing else I can actually tolerate.
There are a trillion supplements and foods out there that would work great for keeping my system moving, but I cant tolearte anything! So that is my resl difficulty lately in a total break.
I have really gone off the edibles, but without it for even a few days, my food digestion is so hampered, and frequent indigestion means I need an edible dose sooner or later, just to eat!
And it really works every time- immediate appetite. Instant sensation of the gut contents beginning to be digested fully.
But I'll see. I will aim to break fully. I ceratinly will be having many days off, weeks if possible.
So I may have some more energy and purpose to join in here a bit more then.
I may not get to use my Herbo Ti for nearly 2 months you know, depending on when I get it, and when I take my 30 day vapor break.
End of June possibly!