Phattpiggies Wood Shed


Well-Known Member
Accessory Maker
Some of you may or may not have seen that I have a thing for odd ideas and most of them revolve around vaporizers and wood. How can you not love wood. Even the humble shipping pallet has a place in my heart. It has to as my shed was built with them.
I've been mentioning that at some point I will be selling Vapcap stems for too long now and today as I've been asked if I'm ready I feel I should give an answer.

Yes, I suppose I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.

There have been obstacles in my way since I decided to go ahead and get my Accessory Makers account. No excuses just facts. Normal work, the lack of tooling, materials and family issues have all managed to cause me one problem or another so it's been slow going. I am also not the most confident of people when it comes to my abilities to turn out objects which I would be happy to pay for and more important I would be happy to sell but if I don't try this then I won't know if it's going to work.

Vapcap Stems.
At this moment in time I will only be selling stems the Ti tip and cap will need to be added separately.
The 7 fin adds 28mm to the overall lengths and the 5 fin 25mm. If you have a 5 fin it will work with the wood but the digger outer sits snug on the brass. If you want something for a 5 fin tip let me know.

So in amazing technicolor VC stems, some already spoken for and the rest all require a small amount of hand finishing. They are between 95 and 100mm long, 4" ish. Nothing is exact, I let the wood and mood dictate where it goes.

Teak, this wood was reclaimed from a local Asylum which shut many years ago. My friend said there may be a bit of madness still in there.

Olive, a chopping board which caught my eye

The internals are put together like this for ease of cleaning. The 316 SS condenser has a 2mm hole in it, VC standard size, the wood can be custom drilled or 2mm. The rolling paper mod I posted about can be done over the condenser 'carb' keeping it out of sight. The paper does collect reclaim and will need to be replaced with use. The brass is lead free. Once used the cap and tip change color so there is not so much contrast between the brass and VC parts.

All the wood stems are approx. 10mm longer than the condensers. This keeps a sleek line. I have been damping a q tip with Iso and just wiping the inside of the MP end to clean it. The rest of the metal parts can be soaked. The red O ring you can see is to stop over tightening of the two parts. The brass in the wood stem is an interference fit I didn't want to use any adhesives and if they are over tightened you run the risk of the brass spinning in the wood when trying to undo it the ring helps prevent this. I only have red but will look for some black O rings before sending any out. I have been to see a CNC machining firm down the road from me. They are a dying breed in this country. He is willing to try and make the brass bits to my specifications and in my choice of materials. This adds to the cost of a 'wood stem' so for now I can only offer this set up. I am looking at and am open to ideas to do things differently.

My DD VC is this SS version with a lacewood MP. It's 110mm long.

This blackwood is headed stateside to my first customer and customs guinea pig. Once it's safely in his hands I will be willing to send more international orders out. It's all new to me and I need to make sure they get to where they are supposed to be going. Again any advice and help on this would be very much appreciated.

I've had to look at things differently since I started this. Not everything I make will be to everyone's taste and somethings I may be asked to make will not be to mine.

There are also the needs of the MMJ users. Not everyone is able to do the things others take for granted. So as an experiment I did this Thuya burr one. It's longer and fatter making it easier to grip and spin. 110mm long and 15mm at it's widest. I am also looking to make a stand/holder/rest type thing that will hold the VC in place so it only needs to be spun in the flame rather than be held and spun.

30 odd years ago I started out my 'dope life' with a chromed brass pipe so I just had to do a VC pipe.
The wood bodies are 60mm tall and the removable stem is 90mm long. The top right hand side is wenge and the lower one is black palm neither of which have worked very well. The palm has cracked and would need stabilizing with adhesive. Not ideal and a shame because it turned out well. The wenge may have a crack in it as well. I would be happy to do them in hardwood and will try the palm and wenge again as it may have just been those particular blanks. Blackwood MP with a short SS condenser inside


Other stem ideas some which may and some which will never be re-produced.
This SS and teak one I've had a go at is going to be done a different way, again it's a shame as this is really lite and well balanced. It's actually two pieces of metal where the VC tip sits in and the outside diameter is smaller than the Ti tip. Very lady like and was done as an experiment for one who asked. I may try this again at some point as I have another option using the same tubing.

This is a glass tube I got and made an oak sleeve for, I liked the idea and will probably be open to do some more. With or with out holes in the wood. They do not fit on the VC glass. The 'carb' is raised and would need sanding down possibly along with the flaming to the end of the tube. 76mm with a SS condenser. I drill the 'carb' hole and flame it after which is a hit and miss affair but adds to the fun. No loses yet.

A first attempt at a barley twist this was made before I had my VC stuff in hand.

Apple wood and one of my first attempts designed for the 5 fin. Chillum style for us older folk.
I heard the 'click, click' and thought it's off in the fire. I switched the lathe off and I just couldn't burn it. It's a true 'one of a kind'. There was no evidence of what was inside until the hole appeared. To me it's a true reflection of how beautiful wood can be and apple mellows so well.

One of the tastiest and tastiest looking stems I've done. Licorice one of those 'why not' things.
I still can't get over how well it turned out. I had little piles of licorice dust on the lathe and had to have a dab every now and again.


Well-Known Member
Accessory Maker
So over 10000 words has meant I have to do this in two parts.

Other stuff I've been trying out.
Funnels. Loads of people in various threads have asked about funnels so I made one. It's the first attempt and I can see where it needs changing but with so many different grinders and stash pots I could never make a 'one size fits all' design. I am open to make them to just about any spec.
This is apple again.

Everything wood is finished in hemp seed oil and beeswax from an urban beekeeper. Kief is so far not a problem with this finish it brushes off nicely.

If the VC community could agree on a lighter that everyone liked I would make more of these.
This little tube has made my VC usable just about anywhere and I use less gas as the heat is concentrated. I've vaped while walking up and down my garden and out in a canoe. It works as a holder/rest type thing and works well with the pipes. The principle could be used with other butane devices.

I even got some interest for the mushroom water tool I made just for a laugh. I know someone else who may be getting one which surprised me as he has some proper glassware. It's been used for my VC and is set up for log usage.

My Glaswegian friend is going to try and do me some 'wee ens' as he would say. They are hand carved and once he has got some done I will get him to post them down. He loved his MFLB but he now loves his VC even more. I have to send him wax and some sumac he gave me. The sumac will look stunning.

A while ago I got in touch with the only UK based log maker and asked if it would be possible for me to do some 'guest turning' for him. Just the bodies the internals is down to him. We exchanged PM's. I showed him how I would like to try and translate other ideas in the wood turning world into logs and he was up for it. Some ideas shouldn't be that hard and others will test my current skills to the limit but again nothing ventured.

Left to right.
Apple with a massive inclusion round a really pretty burr. Then a lidded Sapele, Spalted Beech which is in use now, another Spalted Beech which split and has a sapele base, Beech with worms and a twist. There were only a few holes in the outside of this blank I didn't know until I got into it how much damage they had done, put a barley twist in for practice. Lastly Apple which has a small crack which is a shame as it feels really nice in the hand. All but the apple were my late fathers blanks, the sapele I got for him and it's come back to me over a decade later, it was from a staircase manufacturers. These are all just practice but I've also used the beech twist and saplele ones as well. As I say this is some one else's baby and he has the final say on anything I turn for him. For now when I get time I will just keep trying out ideas and forms. Please contact RV for more info.

I am open to suggestions and criticism it's all a learning curve for me and if it doesn't come off then at least I gave it a go. I have contacted another US FC'er who is willing to try his skills with some of my ideas and I really hope we can pull it all off. If anyone has any ideas at all then please get in touch and we will see if I can translate them into a tactile objects.

I can't thank these people enough for their help, encouragement, kind word or deeds.
@Stu, @VapCap, @RastaVapa, @Ed's TnT, @StickyBricks, @mvapes, @HD Springer, @Slow Draw McGraw, @Seren, @norweedian, @Squiby, @priestsmiler, @Copacetic, @herbalist33, and all the rest of great people in the HGL and VC communities which I'm proud to be part of, and my good friend @Ruta who in a round about way set me off on this whole thing, he will be involved in one way or another.



Well-Known Member
:o:p:clap: Yes yes YES!

@phattpiggie those are some beautiful pieces right there buddy!! I'm really happy to see you've managed to start getting them out there!! Thanks for the acknowledgment, but honestly, how can I not be blown away by your wares (I love wood), and especially that you are based in the UK- I'm really fed up of international shipping, exchange rates and custom charges (although none of that can stop me from my DAS- Dynavap Aquisition Syndrome).

I'm gunna have to jump on one of the teak stems (but the olive looks amazing too... Which would you suggest?). I'm likely to be using a 5fin tip with it tho, il dedicate my old tip to your stem.

Also, thanks for mentioning the UK log vape- just read through the HGL thread, can't believe I missed it!

One thing I'd like to ask too: I noticed in one of Rastavapes vids, he has a wooden 14mm step to draw from his orbiter... I NEED one of those, so was wondering if you fancied doing a custom turn for me??? Pretty please? My girlfriend got me a lathe for Xmas, but the house I was buying fell through, so I have nowhere to set it up and have a go myself... If you'd be willing to do that, it would be amazing!!

All the best on this venture, loving your work (and Rastavapes too), great to see vapeware being pumped out in the UK!!



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Accessory Maker
@vapen00b Once we have evoked article 50, Angela Merkel and Thersa May have been off and had a Bockwurst or even better a juicy Currywurst together at the nearest Schnellimbiss, and played nicely afterwards, I am sure I will be able to offer European orders.:)

@kellya86 I am more than happy to see what I can do for you, but as I said before some of this is all very new to me and will need me doing some research before I can make things up, so fotos and any info is very welcome. More than happy for you to be a Guinea Piggie for me??
Or I could cut you a deal if you want to do a labor exchange type thing? I've got 8 Method Statements and Risk Assessments which need doing if you're not too busy.:)

I had to write this out twice as I hadn't ticked a box and got logged out without saving it, not a good time in the Phatts household, the first time I mentioned @1DMF and the pair of you. It was far too late for me to be doing anything but sleeping when I eventually finished and you got left out second time around, sorry.
1DMF my first posts are like an essay and not one f,c,c,t,t,b,b,b,dh,k or w bomb dropped. I was and am well proud of myself. Even after I got logged out I kept it nice.
After all now I am having to be Professional Phattpiggie, PPP, and it's not good to look uneducated and foul mouthed. And no innuendo which is difficult for me at the best of times especially given the subject matter.:lol:

@Copacetic drool where drool is due. Your sketches had me salivating, very impressed.
I looked at the pear shaped flasks before and liked them but couldn't see how they would translate as I had no idea which volume would be best. Your 'little scribbles' have helped me rethink previous ideas. Thank you.

@Stevenski I have a couple of other blanks so I will do some more. After all my blackwood stem was my first love.

@herbalist33 See what you made me go and do.:lol:
Teak or Olive??? The Olive looks really nice even the bit's without the eyes look great. Lovely color contrasts. The teak I've done so far is a pleasure to work with and the shed smells great. It hasn't throw up any surprises since @Ruta made his stem. This finial is a piece leftover from that stem. It's a shame all of it doesn't have these markings. It now sits proudly as part of the Sapele log lid.

Teak has a very unique smell. It may be over powering for some. I've not found it to be unpleasant and once in use the smell fades off a bit. It may never completely disappear. It would be your choice. I will be in touch. Guinea Piggie perhaps??
I'll contact @RastaVapa about the 14mm step. He is a great guy and is another inspirational figure here at FC. It's turning out we have a lot of ideas in common and I look forward to bouncing some around with him. Hopefully more vape related stuff to come from the pair of us.

@CarolKing You have made my day, thank you so much for the likes. I think these 'WhyTF Not' moments make up for the 'snorting a line of kief' 'WhyTF Not' moment.:)


Well-Known Member
I am so happy to hear that you are shipping out your first international stem!! :clap:

Your work is beautiful and I would love one of the Olive stems to make its way to me in Canada. I also love the burl stem, so mark me down for two if the burl is still available or another can be created.

George has been able to side step customs fees in Canada by declaring that the Vapcap packages contain aromatherapy samples. You might also declare your stems to be a pen body. Another approach is to declare the contents a gift rather than merchandise.

Also, there is a minimum value for merchandise that can enter a country without incurring customs fees. Canada used to be $60, but I think it is higher now. If you state the value to be under the max allowable the package just sails through customs.

I don't know how this works from the UK. Your forms may be different than ours, but I think that Customs formed an international alliance a couple of years ago so maybe all countries Customs operate in the same way now.

Small items can sometimes go through without a customs declaration. I did not fill out a customs declaration for the screens I sent you, for example. But the stems may be too big for this and require a declaration.

I look forward to hearing that your first international package has completed its journey cause I wanna be your next international experiment!!

Big congrats to you on getting this put together. I wish you every success in getting those lovely pieces out into the wild and making vapour enthusiasts happy all around the world!


Herb gardener...
So @phattpiggie if I was to send you a couple of glass parts, could you emulate them in a timber of my choice???? I could send you the timber too...

I can probably get hold of some very old oak from a client of mine, who house/mill is actually in the doomsday book....

I like the idea of a stem with history attached..... or just having an 600 year old stem....

Melting Pot

Sick & Twisted
So @phattpiggie if I was to send you a couple of glass parts, could you emulate them in a timber of my choice???? I could send you the timber too...

I can probably get hold of some very old oak from a client of mine, who house/mill is actually in the doomsday book....

I like the idea of a stem with history attached..... or just having an 600 year old stem....
Bog oak


Well-Known Member
My XL stem set up for my VC may have to come from you man! These are awesome and so are the logs. Keep it up! I'm still waiting on my VonG, I'm gonna add another tip and cap to my order though and I was thinking a longer stem. Yours are even longer it seems and they are beautiful. The one with the Barlay twist or what ever it is called, wow!! :drool: That's stunning man.

I'm low on funds ATM but I have a bad case of VAS and will be buying more stuff when I get more cash :lol: I am gonna watch this thread so I can hopefully snag me something beutiful like that stem and help out a great FC member. I always enjoy your posts, looking forward to seeing your work in the future. I don't think FC will ever have enough great wood workers. :tup:

How could we with vapcaps and log vapes to customize!?! So many ideas and so many different opinions on how to do things. It's great to see a different take on the VapCap stems. I can't wait to see your future work man!
Cheers :peace::leaf:


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Accessory Maker
@Squiby, After your help with the Ti screens you know it would be a pleasure. Left to right left being number 1 choose a few you like and I will get some more fotos if they're still available.
The burl is available but I would prefer to remove the carnuba wax finish, it's too shiney, but if you like it then I will leave it on. It does offer a good grip. I also have a couple of thuya blanks left so will do another slimmer one to see how it goes. I also thought of 'pen bodies'. Fingers crossed.

I will only be finishing stuff with hemp seed oil and wax from now. The burl was just an idea I had to try out and I only had carnuba.
My other wax is made by these guys,, and contains turpentine so I couldn't use it.

@Melting Pot, Many thanks. It's not always joyful and the air has been very blue at times. Not very often but one of those things. If it all goes wrong then there is always another day and another blank.
Keep saving, it is very therapeutic and the bad bits are nothing compared to the pleasure you get when it all comes together and the first coat of finish is applied.

@kellya86, Would love to especially as the timber has a story. I always feel it's a privilege to work in old buildings especially when you are in our trades and you get to see behind the scenes. 'Proper' craftmanship and all done with hand tools. Let me have some fotos so I can see what you need and we will make it happen. If you had some spare time you would be most welcome to drive up and have a go for yourself. The inaugural meeting of the UK FC'ers.

@Philreal187, Again many thanks and there will be more wood porn to come. So just for you.
Sumac. I am determined to get at least one good piece out of this stuff. Sumac makes me cuss Melting Pot. I don't have the best blanks and this was split so I could send some up to Glasgow. It makes beautiful spoons. Couldn't help but center a bit up. All good practice if nothing else. I hope it stays together as it will 'pop' when it has a finish on it. A ways to go yet.

@Oogendoogan When ever you are ready get in touch. I enjoy doing the twists and one day I will get them spot on. It takes a bit more time but they add another dimension and are beyond tactile. I made the VC one and sat and span it and ran it in my fingers like a screw thread for hours. I still do when I pick it up. It's never been used as the MP had to be glued in. Another one that wasn't happy when I went in for some final touches. A sapele MP glued in and then the twist added. I love doing them.
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HomeGrownLogs UK log maker
Exellent work man, love the olive stems i have a TI tip and cap just waiting for my surprise stem to arrive :clap::D

after reading your thread i see now what you asked me for the orbiter, its just a 14mm male to a stem for the draw tube, i am sure you can come up with something very nice in that department man,i look forward to seeing the EQ bits your doing as well ,that was my first real vaporizer i owned...

I like your idea for the aromatherapy cup better than me just flattening the bottom and a bit of silicon..

If anyone is interested in a "Piggied homegrown log" contact either of us and we can work out a package and price for you......

Take it easy all i will be keeping an eye on this thread for sure :tup::leaf::leaf::leaf::leaf:


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Accessory Maker
@RastaVapa You are a bad influence my friend after today's conversation. Another path I'm being led down screaming and kicking. Great to be bouncing stuff off each other. Really great.
Quick chat with RV today led me to thinking about care free days when we were kids and winters were cold and white. Summers were hot and long, the milk was warm and school holidays couldn't come soon enough. RV this is where all that led me.

@Philreal187 Posted in half speed just for you.

Don't think I aint noticed you hanging around out there @killick, you too @IAmKrazy2.
Many thanks for the likes, nice to see some familiar faces.

What do you reckon @Ruta I knew something pretty would come of it. Cake and vape is well over due.
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Well-Known Member
Way to go @phattpiggie , you know i'm always around to help if there is any experimenting to be done :lol:

I to was thinking that our 'Cake & Vape ' sessions were long overdue, you need to get her indoors back on track :)

And to all the FC family, you couldn't ask for anyone more obsessed to make something for you, you certainly know it's not going to get to you unless it's 100%, that i can vouch for :)

Support crazy people, we probably wouldn't be this advanced in the vape world without them!


HomeGrownLogs UK log maker

Look what turned up in the post 2 custom vc stems and a ready turned log ,thanks man i even got a really nice piece of spalted beech and two really long pieces of sapele spoilt me mate, be turning some stuff with it def...

My boy loves the stem you included too thanks....

i prefer the slim profile of these stems and i like that the air hole is further up the stem away from my fingers.
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