Joke thread
- Thread starter Purple-Days
- Start date
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
teabelly
Well-Known Member
WOMAN: DO YOU DRINK BEER?
MAN: YES
WOMAN : HOW MANY BEERS A DAY?
MAN: USUALLY ABOUT THREE
WOMAN: HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY PER BEER?
MAN: $5.00 WHICH INCLUDES A TIP (THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SCARY!)
WOMAN: AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
MAN: ABOUT 20 YEARS, I SUPPOSE
WOMAN: SO A BEER COSTS $5 AND YOU HAVE THREE BEERS A DAY WHICH PUTS YOUR SPENDING EACH MONTH AT $450.
IN ONE YEAR, IT WOULD BE APPROXIMATELY $5400 CORRECT?
MAN: CORRECT
WOMAN: IF IN 1 YEAR YOU SPEND $5400, NOT ACCOUNTING FOR INFLATION,
THE PAST 20 YEARS PUTS YOUR SPENDING AT $108,000 CORRECT?
MAN: CORRECT
WOMAN: DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DIDN'T DRINK SO MUCH BEER, THAT MONEY COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN A STEP-UP INTEREST SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND AFTER ACCOUNTING FOR COMPOUND INTEREST FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, YOU COULD HAVE NOW BOUGHT AN AIRPLANE?
MAN: DO YOU DRINK BEER?
WOMAN: NO.
MAN: WHERE IS YOUR AIRPLANE?
MAN: YES
WOMAN : HOW MANY BEERS A DAY?
MAN: USUALLY ABOUT THREE
WOMAN: HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY PER BEER?
MAN: $5.00 WHICH INCLUDES A TIP (THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SCARY!)
WOMAN: AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
MAN: ABOUT 20 YEARS, I SUPPOSE
WOMAN: SO A BEER COSTS $5 AND YOU HAVE THREE BEERS A DAY WHICH PUTS YOUR SPENDING EACH MONTH AT $450.
IN ONE YEAR, IT WOULD BE APPROXIMATELY $5400 CORRECT?
MAN: CORRECT
WOMAN: IF IN 1 YEAR YOU SPEND $5400, NOT ACCOUNTING FOR INFLATION,
THE PAST 20 YEARS PUTS YOUR SPENDING AT $108,000 CORRECT?
MAN: CORRECT
WOMAN: DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DIDN'T DRINK SO MUCH BEER, THAT MONEY COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN A STEP-UP INTEREST SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND AFTER ACCOUNTING FOR COMPOUND INTEREST FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, YOU COULD HAVE NOW BOUGHT AN AIRPLANE?
MAN: DO YOU DRINK BEER?
WOMAN: NO.
MAN: WHERE IS YOUR AIRPLANE?
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Obama and Bill Clinton went out for breakfast.
When the waitress asked what they'd like Obama ordered bacon and eggs. Bill looked at the menu and then looked up at the young, pretty waitress, smiled and said "I'll have the quickie".
The waitress said "Mr. President, that's just not right". Bill looked into her eyes and said "But I want a quickie". The waitress sighed, looked at Obama and said "Can you help me Mr. President"? Obama said "Absolutely".
Obama looked at Bill and said "That's quiche Bill, not quickie".
When the waitress asked what they'd like Obama ordered bacon and eggs. Bill looked at the menu and then looked up at the young, pretty waitress, smiled and said "I'll have the quickie".
The waitress said "Mr. President, that's just not right". Bill looked into her eyes and said "But I want a quickie". The waitress sighed, looked at Obama and said "Can you help me Mr. President"? Obama said "Absolutely".
Obama looked at Bill and said "That's quiche Bill, not quickie".
