Joke thread
- Thread starter Purple-Days
- Start date
blackstone
Well-Known Member
This one here kinda got me! f*@k
https://www.laweekly.com/news/breaking-news-cannabis-federally-legalized-as-of-april-1-10144875
"In an unannounced Oval Office session, attended by a small, hand-selected group of industry professionals and advocates late Sunday afternoon, President Trump has done the unimaginable by exercising his emergency powers and legalizing cannabis. Wearing a green tie for his first time in office, the president signed Executive Order 4202019, the ACCESS Act, or America’s Compassionate Cannabis Elimination of Stigma Stimulus Act. "
"Criminal records: All criminal records related to any conviction for a cannabis crime are to be expunged and any penalties related thereto are to be stricken.
Criminality: The purchase and consumption of cannabis will have no criminality for those over the age of 21, thereby making the Controlled Substances Act inapplicable to cannabis.
Research: It is legal and Congress is tasked to appropriate an undetermined portion of health care budgets to scientific and medical research of the cannabis plant.
April 20: 4/20 is declared a new national holiday, with federal offices closed and lights on all federal monuments turned green.
Banking: Any legal state cannabis business is deemed a legal American business with full banking access and privileges.
Tax code: Congress is tasked to legislate a competitive tax structure, which shall include tax incentives for employment. Tax dollars shall be dedicated to research, education, veterans affairs and health care facilities. And cannabis businesses of any kind are deemed exempt from the wrongful burdens of Internal Revenue Code Section 280(e)."
"I am terribly sorry to have to say to our loyal readers: April Fools. Help me make this dream a deserved reality."
https://www.laweekly.com/news/breaking-news-cannabis-federally-legalized-as-of-april-1-10144875
"In an unannounced Oval Office session, attended by a small, hand-selected group of industry professionals and advocates late Sunday afternoon, President Trump has done the unimaginable by exercising his emergency powers and legalizing cannabis. Wearing a green tie for his first time in office, the president signed Executive Order 4202019, the ACCESS Act, or America’s Compassionate Cannabis Elimination of Stigma Stimulus Act. "
"Criminal records: All criminal records related to any conviction for a cannabis crime are to be expunged and any penalties related thereto are to be stricken.
Criminality: The purchase and consumption of cannabis will have no criminality for those over the age of 21, thereby making the Controlled Substances Act inapplicable to cannabis.
Research: It is legal and Congress is tasked to appropriate an undetermined portion of health care budgets to scientific and medical research of the cannabis plant.
April 20: 4/20 is declared a new national holiday, with federal offices closed and lights on all federal monuments turned green.
Banking: Any legal state cannabis business is deemed a legal American business with full banking access and privileges.
Tax code: Congress is tasked to legislate a competitive tax structure, which shall include tax incentives for employment. Tax dollars shall be dedicated to research, education, veterans affairs and health care facilities. And cannabis businesses of any kind are deemed exempt from the wrongful burdens of Internal Revenue Code Section 280(e)."
"I am terribly sorry to have to say to our loyal readers: April Fools. Help me make this dream a deserved reality."
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
