Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

[dorkus_molorkus]

Its this new "entertainment" business @dorkus_molorkus introduced me to . . . Services vary, and are a trade secret so only my franchise manager (Dorkus) could elaborate, but here is one of our happy customers now . . .

ahh yes. This is Cordell, but when he is in the 'boudoir', its Yohance Boodylicious.

He comes by for the ' Mad Magenta Tuesday Twerking Makeover Special'
For $175, it starts with some colonic irrigation via the firehose.
Then I perform a rigorous ancient technique called 'the 2 fisted double bunger'
The client is invigorated via a 2 handed Brown Bracelet forcefully delivered in a repetitious in/out diving motion and as you can see, now totally relaxed from the 2 handfuls of retard pills we left in there.

Then comes some fashion advice from @Stu . Think 'queer guy for the kinky pervert guy'
His girlfriend then comes along & does a dance class.
Its called the 'Cuba Libre' and its the tranny dance of love.

As demonstrated here by stus girlfriend.

Stu wanted me to let you all know, he put together the little ensemble she was wearing and is taking orders for his upcoming spring collection.

Now, can you guess who is our make up artist?

Thats fucken right, makeup applied by @mvapes !
and as you can see Yohance looks beautiful.

The pic was taken right at the end of the session, just before @t-dub had to go back in and fish out the retard pills.

Once we got him suited up of course.

Anyhoo, feel free to drop on by. No appointment necessary.
Pls dont be put off by the smell as you enter.

We have an FC discount as well, 2 fists for the price of one.
Just use the code 'DOUBLEBUNGER-RUBBERLOVER '

Oh and there is plenty of parking too.

 

[mvapes]

I for one don't think thread ever lost its course. I just think over a long enough period of time everything has its ups and downs. I mean shit, look at how many have come and gone or turned out to be batshit crazy. It's a forum, it happens.

And @RUDE BOY and @momofthegoons - those we're some great memories and there was certainly plenty of poop talk. I believe it was @t-dub that said he started hanging here cause we were real in here. No holding back, not for the faint of hearts. Well, we let lwein hang around cause once he left the thread he'd forget what he read so we figured...

Where else could you go to about everything from PD to Cancer to Donkey Shows or @dorkus_molorkus and I's stint in a turkish prison. Or how we paid for our trip home by dork showing off what we used to refer to as Dorks mouth talent. No, I wont get into it but if anyone owns a dyson it's kinda the same thing.

Still blowing Thanksgiving dinner out the exhaust pipe. I know it's the same cause my farts smell like gravy. And no, not in a good way.

I don't know if I've shared yet but we all now my older daughter started kindergarten this past September. I'm proud to say that she's already been pulled and placed in 1st grade. We were told she's way too advanced for what she was doing. This goes to prove my theory! Potheads make smart babies! It must be true!

Hey @grokit - how the heck are you? So happy to see your still around!

Where the fuck is @fluffhead - he better get his ass back here.

Who else is missing? Let's keep the party going.

 

[momofthegoons]

Ah @mvapes ... speaking of poop... @dorkus_molorkus has been on a mission of late. He is sick and tired of people who walk their dogs and don't pick up after them. This video was taken just yesterday..

You can see he's very serious about his work, yet also loves it! What a wonderful thing to love your work!!!

 

[Snappo]

I for one don't think thread ever lost its course. I just think over a long enough period of time everything has its ups and downs. I mean shit, look at how many have come and gone or turned out to be batshit crazy. It's a forum, it happens.

And @RUDE BOY and @momofthegoons - those we're some great memories and there was certainly plenty of poop talk. I believe it was @t-dub that said he started hanging here cause we were real in here. No holding back, not for the faint of hearts. Well, we let lwein hang around cause once he left the thread he'd forget what he read so we figured...

Where else could you go to about everything from PD to Cancer to Donkey Shows or @dorkus_molorkus and I's stint in a turkish prison. Or how we paid for our trip home by dork showing off what we used to refer to as Dorks mouth talent. No, I wont get into it but if anyone owns a dyson it's kinda the same thing.

Still blowing Thanksgiving dinner out the exhaust pipe. I know it's the same cause my farts smell like gravy. And no, not in a good way.

I don't know if I've shared yet but we all now my older daughter started kindergarten this past September. I'm proud to say that she's already been pulled and placed in 1st grade. We were told she's way too advanced for what she was doing. This goes to prove my theory! Potheads make smart babies! It must be true!

Hey @grokit - how the heck are you? So happy to see your still around!

Where the fuck is @fluffhead - he better get his ass back here.

Who else is missing? Let's keep the party going.

Been a while ...but my friends on this thread are always in my thoughts - love to all and happy Holidays!!!

 

[mvapes]

Thanks @Snappo that means a lot. Unless your thinking about us because you caught something from one of us.

I know what that's like, one fucking Donkey and bam! Parkinson's! Fucked up part is @Stu and @dorkus_molorkus didn't catch shit! Well nothing that antibiotics couldn't clear up at least.

All this animal talk makes me think of another one missing from the crowd. One of the best female shit slingers of all times. Where the fuck is @Vicki? We can't do this without sci-fi talk! I know dork and I and our anal adventures are plenty to keep the crowd going but you guys make everything come together. We need to get the fucking band back together!

I came here because you all made me feel better when I needed to most. I enjoy doing the same for all of you. I've learned it doesn't work unless you give back what you've received. You all contributed to me becoming the douche bag I am today. Now, although I'm a dbag I am still much stronger today and I've learned now that having Parkinson's Disease was all part of my destiny. It's part of a much bigger picture and it really has enligtened me.

Or my meds are melting my brain. Either way, you guys helped!

Thank you.

 

[momofthegoons]

I was taking a stroll down "memory lane" this morning; remembering all the glorious poop throwing this thread has had to offer. Remember a time when I didn't talk about poop...

I digress..

Anyway, I was thinking of all the good times and then one particular gem came back to me. So come along kiddies.... into the way back machine we go....

 

[Vicki]

I'm here, just not feeling well. Been in bed feeling sick a lot. It's because they turned me into a guinea pig.

Since I am a small furry rodent now, I'll be hanging out in the corner, trying to shave off all this fur. @mvapes I'm using your razor, thanks!

 

[momofthegoons]

@Vicki hope you start feeling better soon!

And I just realized I forgot to give credit to the poop thrower in the above video. And I really, really feel I should since it is titled, "Me throwing poop....."

It's not me!!!! That is the fine work of @dorkus_molorkus (for those of you who are new or who might be old enough to have forgotten. Like lwien. )

 

[Enchantre]

I'm here, just not feeling well. Been in bed feeling sick a lot. It's because they turned me into a guinea pig.

Since I am a small furry rodent now, I'll be hanging out in the corner, trying to shave off all this fur. @mvapes I'm using your razor, thanks!

It's a good thing SOMEONE is using @mvapes razor, as he sure isn't! I'm getting tired of his requests to pick the poo out of his back hair for him. That's what @pakalolo is for, correct?

maybe it was @Deadshort480 ... it's hard to tell, anymore, what, with all the adult diaper boxes blocking out the window light....

Vicki, make sure they give you the GOOD treats, not the cheap "Hamster treats" from the 5 & dime. Guineas need the best quality.

Ask for bacon.

 

[pakalolo]

 

[Vicki]

@mvapes razor is getting a bit dull. I may have to borrow yours too. I think it's next to @dorkus_molorkus 's Don't worry, I'll find it.

Treats?? I get treats? Now I have to go looking for those too. God knows what I will find rummaging around in here because the boys never clean up after themselves.

 

[mvapes]

@pakalolo - how could you possibly get out of the game? Your a fucking legend around these parts. Granted, your not legendary in the same way to all but we like ya. Don't worry either, we won't tell anyone. Well aside from lwein but come on, he ain't gonna remember anyway.

@Vicki - you son of a bitch, I've been looking for that razor! I'm sure you've noticed the scratches on it. Well each of those scratches represent everytime I cut my nifkin shaving my lower half.

And don't you guy's fucking judge me! I have Parkinson's and at the time I was 150 pounds heavier. I'm lucky that's all I sliced.

Eh, it could have been worse. That could have been @dorkus_molorkus ear and nose trimmer. Don't even ask what he uses that mother fucker for. Lets just say it's seen its fair share of dingleberrys.

And thanks lady e - it's good to be here!

 

[Vicki]

@Vicki - you son of a bitch, I've been looking for that razor! I'm sure you've noticed the scratches on it. Well each of those scratches represent everytime I cut my nifkin shaving my lower half.

Oh fine, I'll try to clean it before I give it back to you. If it turns out my hair was just too much for the razor, I'll just buy you a new one. But, only if you promise to clean up whatever that was in the bathroom sink. Unless it is dorkus's turn to clean the bathroom.

 

[mvapes]

Oh fine, I'll try to clean it before I give it back to you. If it turns out my hair was just too much for the razor, I'll just buy you a new one. But, only if you promise to clean up whatever that was in the bathroom sink. Unless it is dorkus's turn to clean the bathroom.

Cleaning bathrooms after @dorkus_molorkus involves the use of muratic acid. And fucking full on hazmat suits. You'd be safer living in deep space or fucking worse - Minnesota in January!

You don't have to clean it @Vicki I'll slap that fucker on ebay! I know a few Japanese guys who'll pay big bucks for that shit! I mean heck, when times are tough I'd sooner run around wearing a pair of my wife's drawers and getting a quick 50 bucks for $2 old navy underpants. I'll tell you what, makes paying for all my scripts a little easier.

Btw - @Stu I owe you one for teaching me about that.

You know what this thread needs? A few heavy hitters to replace lost luggage. For one I'd like to invite @Caligula. Not because of his humor but because of his inability to be wrong. He'd make an awesome addition here. He's such a sick fu....

So um, anyone know what you call a PD patient in a pool?







A wave machine!

 

[Caligula]

You have to say my name 3 times. You know how it works.

 

[Stu]

You have to say my name 3 times. You know how it works.

Oh god... what have I done?

 

[VaporsVaporizer]

I'm here, just not feeling well. Been in bed feeling sick a lot. It's because they turned me into a guinea pig.

Since I am a small furry rodent now, I'll be hanging out in the corner, trying to shave off all this fur. @mvapes I'm using your razor, thanks!

Oh furry animal shaving I have 25 years of experience I guarantee no cuts or scrapes These babies will cut through anything and i mean anything Hope you feel better soon @Vicki

I've been just going for it over here, my lungs with this cold have been trying to hold me back , but Fuck it, if i kill myself, i hope it happens in Virgin Premium on the way home, maybe Branson will give me more miles I'll have my family bequeath them to one of you

 

[momofthegoons]

These babies will cut through anything and i mean anything

Be careful @Vicki .... last time I used @VaporsVaporizer 's razor this happened!!!!

And we all know what happened when @mvapes used it for his senior pictures.....

 

[Enchantre]

I pulled the plug on the media thing with VXL. It's been nearly a year (!!!), and life changes. *sigh*

So, @Caligula , glad to see you here.

I went looking for replacement razors(sic)* for @mvapes ... ended up in the brush whacking section. Did you want gas-powered, electric, or rechargeable? as I recall, your back/butt hair is pretty darned thick & wiry - perhaps we should be shopping the professional section? the "homeowner" models look a bit... wimpy for the job.

Hey, @dorkus_molorkus , which one did you get for your mother-in-law?

*sure, "razor". you bet. it's power tool time...

 

[Vicki]

I pulled the plug on the media thing with VXL. It's been nearly a year (!!!), and life changes. *sigh*

So, @Caligula , glad to see you here.

I went looking for replacement razors(sic)* for @mvapes ... ended up in the brush whacking section. Did you want gas-powered, electric, or rechargeable? as I recall, your back/butt hair is pretty darned thick & wiry - perhaps we should be shopping the professional section? the "homeowner" models look a bit... wimpy for the job.

Hey, @dorkus_molorkus , which one did you get for your mother-in-law?

*sure, "razor". you bet. it's power tool time...

Just send me the bill.

 

[Radio]

I was taking a stroll down "memory lane" this morning; remembering all the glorious poop throwing this thread has had to offer. Remember a time when I didn't talk about poop...

I digress..

Anyway, I was thinking of all the good times and then one particular gem came back to me. So come along kiddies.... into the way back machine we go....

Anticlimactic poop throw! At least he bumped it up to max speed though

 

[momofthegoons]

Anticlimactic poop throw! At least he bumped it up to max speed though

I think, in retrospect, he was probably just as happy it didn't go well. Just think of what would have happened if the fan had really gotten a hold of it...

The cows were pissed. dork had to really sweet talk his way back into the pasture. But he discovered that cows love accordions!

 

[mvapes]

Here's a little something from the Australian department of health. Funny thing is that they have a @dorkus_molorkus vaccine.

On the other side of the coin, @Caligula wrote the sketch.

@momofthegoons - you fucking promised you would never show that pic! Maybe we'll bring up your new hobbies behind the scenes.

We both are into healing stones but c'mon, why don't you tell em what YOU use them for! Well, I guess it kind of makes sense. "Lemurian Quartz - ribbed for her pleasure"

@Vicki and @Enchantre - I had no idea that my buddy @Stu had similar habits to @dorkus_molorkus. He's got a company that'll main those blades. The actually specialize in chainsaw blades but stu said they work magic.

 

[dorkus_molorkus]

well I dont know how many of you people stood up for your principals & traditions today,
but I just made bail!

@mvapes - nice documentary on animal husbandry there. Im pretty sure the fellow who makes my friday nite 1130pm kebab would be keen to see it.

I def learned something from it for sure.
For example- who knew goats ate corn?

Mind you tho, @Stu is a bit upset you outed him as a poo bashing goat molester.
Not so much that everyone now knows, but he is more upset they didnt get his name right in the credits.
Im very proud of him. It was his 1st ever speaking role.

His first movie was such a success, but he has struggled to get work ever since he was strategically shaved in the mid 80's.

Here is stu back in the good ol days.

I believe this was round one of 'Smell my finger', a game that is nothing like the old fave 'pull my finger' .

ok,well maybe a little.

I am assuming we have now just solved the mystery of who really fucked the razor up?
Yup, thats right. A goat buggering monkey man.

He was lamenting the lack of respect we (me) have for him only the other day.

''Do they call me 'Stu, the awesome FC moderator?'''
He piss moans to no one in particular.
'' No they fucken dont!'' He says as I emphatically shook my head to the negative & pissed my pants laughing.

''Do they call me, Stu the vaporizer God?''
'' Again, No, they fucking dont'' he says in an approaching hysterical tone,

and again I agreed with him,
No we fucking do not.

''Do they call me, Stu the handsome strategically shaved monkey man?''
''No!!'' He bellows, '' No!! They fucking dont!''
''FOR FUCKS SAKE ALL I DID WAS FUCK ONE GOAT!!!''

and that boys & girls is why everyone (well, me) call him

'Stu The goat fucker'

Ahh, good times, good times.


I realize there is about 35 other people I have neglected to tag & take the piss out of in this post.
Fear not, I will just start a list and ensure everyone is adequately insulted &/or belittled before Santa shits a lump of coal in your direction.

OMG!! Im out on my scooter as I write this & I just saw the hottest chick ever.
Hang on, I better pull over theres something I gotta do.
Like right now!

Much better.

you all have a nice day/evening or whatever the fuck it is you are having.

 

[mvapes]

So @dorkus_molorkus I took your advice on boofing all my meds. Let me the first to tell you that you're brilliant! My buddy just told me how much better I look lately! She asked, how are you doing this? I just said @dorkus_molorkus medical boofing system as well as bathing the twins in cbd salve.

Yeah they laughed at the stains on my finger but I was like "bitch, I own Michael J". Then in the background my wife starts yelling that I'm being inappropriate, their screaming about my skid marks and fucking BANG! Seizure!

All I know is that I came to and my nails were painted and my pants were down. And not in a good way, I was laying on my stomach.

@Stu it reminded me of our "little" situation in outside Copacabana in that fuvella! I told @Caligula that story. Where the fuck does anyone think he got his idea for that video?

Well, I'm rambling and @Vicki is outside waiting for her replacement blades. Or as I call her, chewbaccette. On the other hand @Enchantre is more like a fucking violent ewok. Like an ewok that dabbed fucking radioactive erlz.

I feel personally responsible
for getting@momofthegoons into 710. I showed her what clean and clear can taste like and now that fucker could dab me under the table! I'm still choking on .02 and she's dropping snakes.

I blame it on the Parkinson's. That's what is has to be. Plus hanging with her is puffing with Willie fucking Nelson.

Anyways, enjoy the rest of your evening friends because tomorrow will be a better day.