Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!
- Thread starter mvapes
- Start date
satyrday
Well-Known Member
I gave somebody hell on the phone today. I got my landline phone number 7 years ago and have been getting collection agency calls ever since - an assortment of agencies. These calls are for the person who previously had the number. Today I unleashed so bad on a guy he was stuttering and fuming.
Before they talk to you they play the message telling you the call will be recorded. So I told him he was being recorded, which was true, but I didn't tell him I wasn't the one doing it. I just implied that I was. That put him on his best behavior and allowed me to tongue lash him good - tied down so he couldn't move. I am not normally a sadist, but I have my limits and this was not a calculated outburst anyway - just anger. I've been on the receiving end when they think they can say anything and have given me shit.
I like the phone number so don't want to give it up. I also must enjoy this in some perverse way. But 7 years! This agency must be bottom bottom of the food chain and I let him know it.
Before they talk to you they play the message telling you the call will be recorded. So I told him he was being recorded, which was true, but I didn't tell him I wasn't the one doing it. I just implied that I was. That put him on his best behavior and allowed me to tongue lash him good - tied down so he couldn't move. I am not normally a sadist, but I have my limits and this was not a calculated outburst anyway - just anger. I've been on the receiving end when they think they can say anything and have given me shit.
I like the phone number so don't want to give it up. I also must enjoy this in some perverse way. But 7 years! This agency must be bottom bottom of the food chain and I let him know it.
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
Where the hell is Molorkus? He lurks around these parts, but rarely stops in. I miss the smell of Vegemite.
I see your picture, and raise you this video!
Dreamerr
Always in a state of confusion and silliness♀
satyrday, I have been here for four years and get the calls but each agency so far has been nice and taken me off there list but there are always more. It is a very rare thing now. I tell them the peeps names before they even say anything.
It is the beggers that are nasty and the credit card robo call. I press to speak to someone but they hang up.
It is the beggers that are nasty and the credit card robo call. I press to speak to someone but they hang up.
I had this exact problem when I moved into a new place about 15 years ago. For the first year or so it drove me nuts. Then I decided.... fuckit....why not have fun with it?
So I bought a phone recorder, and decided to start fucking with those guys. I made several recordings, some of them up to 45 minutes long. I would try to keep them on the phone for as long as I could, which was not what these guys are used to.
I would promise to pay some minimum payment or agree to whatever payment plan they were offering. So they'd start filling out whatever paperwork they had. I made them go through everything like I was actually going to pay and at the last minute, I'd ask my wife "honey, how much crack do we have left?" and when she replied that we were almost out, I'd tell the guy.... "sorry, no deal. I didn't realize how low I was on crack".
I would then let them convince me that paying this debt was more important than crack and bla bla bla. I'd pretty much just let them rant on and on and I enjoyed every second of it. If those poor bastards only knew I was just fucking with them for my own personal amusement.
Sadly, all the recordings were lost in a fire about 5 years ago and I never did get around to putting them on mp3.
We had some good times listening to those recordings, though.
Edit: I forgot to mention that the calls soon stopped.
satyrday
Well-Known Member
I'v been nice or at least civil many times, but the number keeps getting passed around to lower and lower rungs of collection agency hell. The calls will die down for a few weeks until some new grub starts rooting around who thinks he's going to collect the $200 debt or however much. The funny thing is these creeps just keep re-selling the same number over and over knowing it's a dead end - ripping each other off. Munching on each other like The Human Centipede (spoiler alert).
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6800ce2b3b/human-centipede-anonymous
i always tell collectors the same thing, "you have a lot of people on that list to call, some will pay, I'm not one of them!" - tell them to go back to their supervisor and tell them that you figured out a way to save the company 25 cents a day! By stopping calls to this dude cause he ain't paying!
ShipDit
1%
Sweet Lord what the fuck am I doing up at this unGodly hour?
As for you mvapes,you told me those finger-puppets were licensed proctologists! I feel so violated.
Here's my fucked-up joke for the day,then I'm back to sleep for a few months...enjoy!
Whats the best part about sex with a five year old girl?
Watching her break down on the witness stand.
And with that I am outta here.
Edit: I have just been informed that last joke crossed the line,so here's a famil-friendly one,
Q. What’s long, white and fits in a kid’s mouth?
A. An ice cream!
As for you mvapes,you told me those finger-puppets were licensed proctologists! I feel so violated.
Here's my fucked-up joke for the day,then I'm back to sleep for a few months...enjoy!
Whats the best part about sex with a five year old girl?
Watching her break down on the witness stand.
And with that I am outta here.
Edit: I have just been informed that last joke crossed the line,so here's a famil-friendly one,
Q. What’s long, white and fits in a kid’s mouth?
A. An ice cream!
Well, Satyrday is here...
f
BTW - you all may notice that Ship and I changed our (group) name. I want to say that our gratuitous use of certain words is by no way, nor has it ever been with ill intent. So the way we look at it is, 99% of the people in the great forum are good old fun loving people with some sort of ethical standards - ship and I are the other one percent! We have more in our scope....
fBTW - you all may notice that Ship and I changed our (group) name. I want to say that our gratuitous use of certain words is by no way, nor has it ever been with ill intent. So the way we look at it is, 99% of the people in the great forum are good old fun loving people with some sort of ethical standards - ship and I are the other one percent! We have more in our scope....
ShipDit
1%
About the cat,is it big enough to make a hat if hollowed out? Unless its a Siamese cat,I'm allergic to both them and logic.
satyrday
Well-Known Member
Well, Satyrday is here...
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
No thanks, we have several of our own.
I hope you are feeling ok today, Enchantre! I seem to have a surplus of spoons today, so it should be a decent day. ::knocks on wood::
I hope you have a surplus of spoons today as well, Enchantre! You too, mvapes.
ShipDit
1%
It's Satyrday already? How the hell long have I been asleep? This is insane,someone must pay! I will not let this stand,they will not be allowed to steal whole days from us! We must strike back hard,we will.....Oh,it's SATYRDAY,that's a whole different story!
What up my man? Sorry for the mixup,I realy need to read before commenting. Or not,sometimes that gets funny as hell!
One last thing,have you seen my remote?
What up my man? Sorry for the mixup,I realy need to read before commenting. Or not,sometimes that gets funny as hell!
One last thing,have you seen my remote?
