Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!
- Thread starter mvapes
- Start date
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
dorkus_molorkus
Well-Known Member
taken 30mins ago.
No need for depression folks, nothin but sunshine & lollipops here.
checkout the dolphin, just 100 yards or so from shore.
sorry about the terrible sound on the vid.
I am basically saying that.
'its all beautiful & there is nothing to be depressed about here.
The island had a light house on it once & that perhaps Tweek might wanna check his ass for it.
god bless FC etc'
http://tinypic.com/r/qowsb7/5
^^^^^^VID ^^^^^^^^
chin up guys, Dorkus is on the job
No need for depression folks, nothin but sunshine & lollipops here.
checkout the dolphin, just 100 yards or so from shore.
sorry about the terrible sound on the vid.
I am basically saying that.
'its all beautiful & there is nothing to be depressed about here.
The island had a light house on it once & that perhaps Tweek might wanna check his ass for it.
god bless FC etc'
http://tinypic.com/r/qowsb7/5
^^^^^^VID ^^^^^^^^
chin up guys, Dorkus is on the job
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
Good morning everyone...
As you all know I had a rough day yesterday. I am suffering with addiction and severe depression. See, there are some real issues that I need to bring you up to speed with as well as the fact that you all will join me on my road to recovery.
See when I was first diagnosed with PD I was given as one of the medicines something called Mirapex. One of the biggest side effects from the drug is it has potential to cause compulsive behavior. If your a recovered drug addict this is a terrible mix. Prior to this I was clean of chemical substances for a couple of years. When I started taking the PD medication and started to endure the stress of having a debilitating disease I resorted to buying what I thought was a little dabble of coke.
In all honesty the dabble turned into daily usage for the last few months. I know as I type this that I need help, I have hurt my family, my friends and yesterday I made the decision to move forward and seek professional help. My other issue is that I realize that I have a created a web of lies to overcome blame and resentment from the people I love and and care for me alike. Addiction makes you do crazy things. I thought revealing the truth to my wife and having her help me kick the junk didn't work. I know telling her the truth was absolutely necessary it created anger in her and rightfully so.
I don't deal well with being yelled at and it pushes to want to pick up. She almost pushed me far enough to yesterday and the thing I decided to pick up was the phone. I called a cocaine help line and there's a chance I may be going away to a medical facility for a little bit. They are working on my insurance as we speak to finalize my finances.
I will have internet access in there and once detoxed I am going to post in here every step in my journey. I will not be giving up weed in any way except for a much needed T break. I made it very clear that Mary Jane was not my problem and the actual administrator said we just wont focus on that. I cried all night of the thought of leaving my kids but I know if I have to it's the best decision for everyone. I don't want to lose them or my wife and I certainly don't want them losing me.
Once again friends I am ready to fight the fight. I appreciate the love and support I get here from all of you as you guy's are truly my friends.
Last night I came up with this...
It takes a man to be able to lead but it takes a bigger man to know when he's defeated and its time to follow. And that just what I am going to do as I get on my knees and ask the lord to lead me to the help I so desperately need....
With my heartfelt sincerity
m
As you all know I had a rough day yesterday. I am suffering with addiction and severe depression. See, there are some real issues that I need to bring you up to speed with as well as the fact that you all will join me on my road to recovery.
See when I was first diagnosed with PD I was given as one of the medicines something called Mirapex. One of the biggest side effects from the drug is it has potential to cause compulsive behavior. If your a recovered drug addict this is a terrible mix. Prior to this I was clean of chemical substances for a couple of years. When I started taking the PD medication and started to endure the stress of having a debilitating disease I resorted to buying what I thought was a little dabble of coke.
In all honesty the dabble turned into daily usage for the last few months. I know as I type this that I need help, I have hurt my family, my friends and yesterday I made the decision to move forward and seek professional help. My other issue is that I realize that I have a created a web of lies to overcome blame and resentment from the people I love and and care for me alike. Addiction makes you do crazy things. I thought revealing the truth to my wife and having her help me kick the junk didn't work. I know telling her the truth was absolutely necessary it created anger in her and rightfully so.
I don't deal well with being yelled at and it pushes to want to pick up. She almost pushed me far enough to yesterday and the thing I decided to pick up was the phone. I called a cocaine help line and there's a chance I may be going away to a medical facility for a little bit. They are working on my insurance as we speak to finalize my finances.
I will have internet access in there and once detoxed I am going to post in here every step in my journey. I will not be giving up weed in any way except for a much needed T break. I made it very clear that Mary Jane was not my problem and the actual administrator said we just wont focus on that. I cried all night of the thought of leaving my kids but I know if I have to it's the best decision for everyone. I don't want to lose them or my wife and I certainly don't want them losing me.
Once again friends I am ready to fight the fight. I appreciate the love and support I get here from all of you as you guy's are truly my friends.
Last night I came up with this...
It takes a man to be able to lead but it takes a bigger man to know when he's defeated and its time to follow. And that just what I am going to do as I get on my knees and ask the lord to lead me to the help I so desperately need....
With my heartfelt sincerity
m
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
Thank you for sharing this with us mvapes. Addiction is a horrible thing and you are wise to seek help. You've taken the first giant step in admitting your weakness and in seeking help. I know you will be successful in this, just like you have in other aspects of your life. You are a strong and good man. 
t-dub
Vapor Sloth
mvapes . . . I remember looking at going inpatient when it was time to let go of the morphine. We decided against it, but I am a graduate of outpatient treatment levels 1 & 2. Please be careful with these people. You are vulnerable right now and they are going to be doing little things to you like separating your inner spirit from your ego and giving you lots of new tools to use for when you are hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired, and thats fine, just guard your wallet. Hopefully your medical detox won't be too uncomfortable, I wish you well . . . 
RUDE BOY
Space is the Place
Best of luck mvapes my prayers and thoughts are with you . We're All behind you and Know you will do your Damndest to beat this Coke Shit , Its a bitch but we know you can do it .
Ya know we care about you here on this here interweb FC thingie , And life would be a little less Full without this PD dysfunctional family thread .
Love ya guy , Stay strong .
Ya know we care about you here on this here interweb FC thingie , And life would be a little less Full without this PD dysfunctional family thread .
Love ya guy , Stay strong .
Enchantre
Oil Painter
RE: the house we found.
Yes, indeed, it was too good to be true.... TGTBT. After more digging, more research, and a few phone calls, found out that the situation with the septic may be worse... and the improvements (electrical) to the house were done without a permit. The property had been red-tagged before. It is quite probable that getting a requisite permits to fix things would be denied, due in large part to the location - it is in a protected water inlet district (it's really down at the far bottom tip of Puget Sound), and putting in a septic system is dicey anyway - worse when the property has already had leaking systems on it.
It's okay, I like the thought of getting a snug apartment for several months, and shopping for a house leisurely. Besides, the above house would have absorbed all of our "free time", and we would have had to put off our cruise vacations for YEARS. It's a trade-off.
On the bright side, we have a better idea of what to look for...
Yes, indeed, it was too good to be true.... TGTBT. After more digging, more research, and a few phone calls, found out that the situation with the septic may be worse... and the improvements (electrical) to the house were done without a permit. The property had been red-tagged before. It is quite probable that getting a requisite permits to fix things would be denied, due in large part to the location - it is in a protected water inlet district (it's really down at the far bottom tip of Puget Sound), and putting in a septic system is dicey anyway - worse when the property has already had leaking systems on it.
It's okay, I like the thought of getting a snug apartment for several months, and shopping for a house leisurely. Besides, the above house would have absorbed all of our "free time", and we would have had to put off our cruise vacations for YEARS. It's a trade-off.
On the bright side, we have a better idea of what to look for...
Buildozer
Baked & Fried
i know how it is mvapes.. hang in there man.. i have been there.. thank god i had A LOT of support from a few close friends and family.. or i don't think i could have made it.. i was constantly falling apart while getting clean.. coincidentally, new years day 2011 was the day i made a change.. after a 16 day binge i had a close call.. i used to like mixing pharms and hard drugs w/ liquor.. mostly downers w/ uppers to keep me going..
these days i can do good for long periods of time, and then one day out the blue, something gets triggered, and i'll get really strong(but short lived) cravings.. it can be hard to resist what you've known so well.. these days i'm pretty out of the loop, and i don't even want to know where that stuff is at... because i'm afraid if i did i'd eventually get pulled back in.. i decided the kind of life i wanted for myself didn't coincide w/ the life i was living, and the world i wanted to live in wasn't going to manifest out of doing drugs all the time.. it can be easy to lose sight of what is really important when you get stuck chasing selfish thrills.. i had a choice to make.. for me that new years day close call, scared me straight.. i remember saying if i get through this one, i'm going to change.. change was hard.. after so long of living in a fog, i had to learn how to be me all over again.. i felt scared i would never be myself again.. and w/o the drugs being there anymore, i felt extra lost and super insane.. the drugs had been my identity for so long, i had forgotten who i was.. eventually, gradually, i remembered.. for the most part.
addiction on top of PD; i cant imagine what you are dealing w/ right now.. its not easy, but i know you can make it... for me, eating and smoking A LOT(i mean A LOT) of herb helped me get off everything pretty much all at once... withdraws are no joke.. i needed to be sedated heavily after coming off drugs.. i was hot/cold, had shakes/aches, crawling skin, visual distortions, nausea, trouble eating and sleeping.. and the CRAZY thoughts/mood swings.. it was so hard to get off drugs, that becoming a slave to addiction again seemed like a better option.. that first hump is the hardest.. in these times, having support is HUGE.. you definitely have that here.. well wishes.. i feel for you man, and i admire the way you reached out.. its tough.
these days i can do good for long periods of time, and then one day out the blue, something gets triggered, and i'll get really strong(but short lived) cravings.. it can be hard to resist what you've known so well.. these days i'm pretty out of the loop, and i don't even want to know where that stuff is at... because i'm afraid if i did i'd eventually get pulled back in.. i decided the kind of life i wanted for myself didn't coincide w/ the life i was living, and the world i wanted to live in wasn't going to manifest out of doing drugs all the time.. it can be easy to lose sight of what is really important when you get stuck chasing selfish thrills.. i had a choice to make.. for me that new years day close call, scared me straight.. i remember saying if i get through this one, i'm going to change.. change was hard.. after so long of living in a fog, i had to learn how to be me all over again.. i felt scared i would never be myself again.. and w/o the drugs being there anymore, i felt extra lost and super insane.. the drugs had been my identity for so long, i had forgotten who i was.. eventually, gradually, i remembered.. for the most part.
addiction on top of PD; i cant imagine what you are dealing w/ right now.. its not easy, but i know you can make it... for me, eating and smoking A LOT(i mean A LOT) of herb helped me get off everything pretty much all at once... withdraws are no joke.. i needed to be sedated heavily after coming off drugs.. i was hot/cold, had shakes/aches, crawling skin, visual distortions, nausea, trouble eating and sleeping.. and the CRAZY thoughts/mood swings.. it was so hard to get off drugs, that becoming a slave to addiction again seemed like a better option.. that first hump is the hardest.. in these times, having support is HUGE.. you definitely have that here.. well wishes.. i feel for you man, and i admire the way you reached out.. its tough.
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
LOL..... truer words have never been spoken Tweek.
Dreamerr
Always in a state of confusion and silliness♀
That is so strange you said that mvapes. I was thinking I want to become a drug addict this week as I can't take the real world anymore...deep deep depression but won't bother you with that. I have never been adicted to drugs but once and it was those fuckin' anti-depressants and I felt like you see in the movies getting off herion or like bulidozer said above. I wanted to be an addict so I can disappear. It has been the main thought in my head all week as you all know I have been basically MIA not that you all noticed another issue I have.
MV, you know I care and I will be here for you as that is the only think left in my life to help others as nobody gives two shits about me or my issues but I am fine with it as of this morning and will learn to lie as I don't lie but guess I can learn. Life is great, the weather is great, I feel great and I will be here for you. You made a huge step and a very hard one. When you said you told your wife the truth last week that was my guess but I kept it to myself.
I won't pretend I know about addiction cause I was blessed with the small percent of people who don't get addicted to stuff. I smoked ciggs for years more then a pack a day up to four at one point and chucked in in my cars glove compartment and I was done lol. I got one good gene I guess lol.
Let us know before you leave and how long you suspect you will be off line. Maybe the wifey can update us on your progress till then...smoochies.
You need to get better soon cause I am a spaz and need help learning about concentrates and you are going to be my guru K? Anything I can do for you let me know. I am here in bed almost all the time and going to be more now and I don't sleep much. I have to be more careful then normal cause the only thing that kept me somewhat ok was my massages and she fired me after three years so I will be doing nothing now as not to hurt myself.
MV, you know I care and I will be here for you as that is the only think left in my life to help others as nobody gives two shits about me or my issues but I am fine with it as of this morning and will learn to lie as I don't lie but guess I can learn. Life is great, the weather is great, I feel great and I will be here for you. You made a huge step and a very hard one. When you said you told your wife the truth last week that was my guess but I kept it to myself.
I won't pretend I know about addiction cause I was blessed with the small percent of people who don't get addicted to stuff. I smoked ciggs for years more then a pack a day up to four at one point and chucked in in my cars glove compartment and I was done lol. I got one good gene I guess lol.
Let us know before you leave and how long you suspect you will be off line. Maybe the wifey can update us on your progress till then...smoochies.
You need to get better soon cause I am a spaz and need help learning about concentrates and you are going to be my guru K? Anything I can do for you let me know. I am here in bed almost all the time and going to be more now and I don't sleep much. I have to be more careful then normal cause the only thing that kept me somewhat ok was my massages and she fired me after three years so I will be doing nothing now as not to hurt myself.