‘BIGFOOT’ DNA SEQUENCED IN GENETICS STUDY!

[mvapes]

yeah but it only takes one wookie meat pole and a handy to set off the fireworks.

 

[ShipDit]

That's EXACTLY what my mom used to tell me before bed each night. My shrink says it may have affected me in some way.

 

[mvapes]

Oh dont even get into it with family - last thing I told my mom was "if assholes could fly your house would be an airport"!

 

[ShipDit]

If assholes could fly,I would have been born with wings instead of butt-cheeks. The flying part would rule,but wiping could get messy. If you've ever shit on a parakeet then tried to clean it off before your mother in law notices you know what I mean.

 

[mvapes]

No sir - but I once tried to shit on my mother in law - turns out she WASN'T in to that.

 

[ShipDit]

Try roofies then put up the footage on YouTube. Guaranteed to generate conversation at the next family reunion.
If that's not an option my mother-in-law charges $50 for what she calls "human kitty litter". She's also really good at getting shit-stains out of "used" clothing. It may seem strange to us,but she's German,and you know how they are...

 

[mvapes]

Oh that reminds me of an army story - it was a rainy Tuesday night in Berlin, I had 7 dollars in my pocket and no, I had never seen a one legged red headed midget - what would you have done?

Shit stains were the least of my problems the next morning....

 

[ShipDit]

So you met my sister-in-law Bridgette the Midget huh? She's so understanding of human needs you might mistake her as an actual person.
Back to the Bigfoot issue,do you think the ones in Cali use midgets like gerbils?

 

[mvapes]

Or shitzu's, chihuahua's, rabbits - do you think their breed specific? Could you imagine the dingleberries of a sasquatch? They would be epic!

 

[Buildozer]

 

[mvapes]

Imagine getting raped by a big foot - imagine that fucking load - fuckers could probably shampoo a bison!

 

[t-dub]

Steeering back towards the topic a little this was fun to watch . . .

Survival Expert Les Stroud Second Bigfoot Close Encounter with Joe Rogan

 

[ShipDit]

Steeering back towards the topic a little this was fun to watch . . .

Survival Expert Les Stroud Second Bigfoot Close Encounter with Joe Rogan

Pretty cool stuff. But he was in the deep woods,with a camera crew and recording gear and STILL can't get any footage?
And what's the deal with them being "Great Apes"? What if they're only Pretty Good Apes?
Question for any biology folks out there; how many individual animals does it take to maintain the species?
I dont trust them,what are they hiding? I say we bomb the shit out of the Northwest forests,drive them out before they strike.
Funny how the best way to prove they exist is to render them extinct.

 

[mvapes]

What if we do finally convince them to come forward - will they be covered by Obama care? i am NOT paying for their health insurance!

 

[dorkus_molorkus]

I dont trust them,what are they hiding? I say we bomb the shit out of the Northwest forests,drive them out before they strike.


Wasnt this the same policy that was applied to Saddam & his chemical weapons?

 

[ShipDit]

I dont trust them,what are they hiding? I say we bomb the shit out of the Northwest forests,drive them out before they strike.


Wasnt this the same policy that was applied to Saddam & his chemical weapons?

Yep,bombed the shit out of them. Thermoberic bombs and MOABS solved the problem nicely.
Don't believe everything you hear. There are many cases of troops that were exposed to chem. weapons on a small scale. The reason we couldn't find the big stockpiles was that most got used up When Saddam gassed entire villages. Between thermobaric bombs and the gigantic MOAB we utterly destroyed them.
Picture this,a cave full of chemical/biological weapons. Then the largest non-nuclear bomb in history slams into the cave,or bunker. Not much left. That's what we Americans do, bomb the living shit out any asshole giving us the stink eye.

 

[mvapes]

I've just been informed by my grandmother - bigfoot is my cousin Marty, long story but it all started one faithful evening after a terrible mishap at the hairclub for men! All I have to say is this what could happen when a Jew demands a refund and is DENIED!

 

[ShipDit]

I've just been informed by my grandmother - bigfoot is my cousin Marty, long story but it all started one faithful evening after a terrible mishap at the hairclub for men! All I have to say is this what could happen when a Jew demands a refund and is DENIED!

A Sasquatch/Jew connection. I think we've just created Discovery Channels newest series.

 

[mvapes]

It will be an instant classic - Discovery presents the story of the Jewish bigfoot "Saulsquatch".

 

[ShipDit]

Good one bro!
If our lies are true,I know why he never get seen. He dropped a dollar deep in the woods,and he's not leaving the woods until he finds it.

 

[Buildozer]

 

[mvapes]

I swear, all the stories I make up are absolutely true!

 

[ShipDit]

Every single thing I have ever is a lie.
Except for the true stuff.

 

[mvapes]

Every single thing I have ever is a lie.
Except for the true stuff.

Now you just sound like my wife....

 

[ShipDit]

I nailed my wife good in Denver. She was taking forever getting ready to go out to dinner. I politely asked wtf was taking so long. She responded "I wanna look good for you honey,why do you think I wear make-up and perfume"?
"is it because you're ugly and smell bad"?
No lovin that night,I was lucky to escape with my balls still attached. For the record, I still think it was funny as Hell.