The NEWS !!

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thisperson

thisperson

Ruler of all things person
"We provide them security. We're providing them resources and we're providing them alternatives. And the alternatives are different crops to grow. We're getting the seed and the fertilizer to do it. Um. They can rotate any of their crops that they want. If they want to get rid of their wheat and grow cotton for the winter they can do that and we're going to help them do it. Um. So the same thing goes for the poppy."

I didn't know our soldiers were essentially doing farmer's work over there. That seems... :sourtaste:

I'm of the opinion that one can ingest what one wants. Government's say or no. This is our personal liberty and is something that the most primitive man was born with. With more reason should we keep our liberties in the age of micro managing populations.

Would I do it? Fuck no. But I'll argue for your right to do it.
 
grokit

grokit

well-worn member
The muddled east continues to wtf (msm)...
edit: in other news...

Bush Creates Painting of What He Imagines Iraq is Like Today
Posted by Andy Borowitz
  • bush-painting-580.jpeg


    DALLAS (The Borowitz Report)—President George W. Bush unveiled his latest offering as an artist today—a painting of what he imagines Iraq looks like now.

    Talking to reporters at the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum in Dallas, the President said he did not read the news before composing his latest work. “I was never big on that,” he said.

    Pronouncing himself pleased with his painting of Iraq, Mr. Bush said he was getting to work on a new painting entitled, “The World’s Really Nice Climate.”:D

    Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.

    Illustration by Andy Borowitz.
 
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grokit

grokit

well-worn member
June 24, 2014
Iraq to Have Unity Government Before U.S.
Posted by Andy Borowitz
  • kerry-iraq.jpg


    BAGHDAD (The Borowitz Report)—In a meeting with Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki on Monday, Secretary of State John Kerry stressed the importance of forming a unity government in Iraq but refused to commit to a timetable for creating one in the United States.

    The sensitive topic of a unity government for the United States came at the end of a thirty-minute meeting, during which Secretary Kerry lectured the Iraqi Prime Minister about the value of a government “where people of different parties put aside their differences, make meaningful compromises, and work together for the good of the nation.”

    Taking this in, al-Maliki agreed that it was an excellent idea and politely asked Secretary Kerry if the United States had ever considered forming such a government.

    According to observers, Kerry appeared to be caught off guard by this question and blurted out,”You first.”

    Despite that awkward moment, after the meeting Kerry said that he had not “totally slammed the door” on the idea of a unity government in the United States.

    “Let’s just get one formed in Iraq,” he said. “If it works out for them, maybe someday we’ll give it a try.”

    Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.
 
CarolKing

CarolKing

Singer of songs and a vapor connoisseur
POLITICS FOREIGN POLICY
Dick Cheney Say Iraq War Was ‘The Right Thing’
1:16 AM ET

489851189.jpg

Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney in Washington, DC. The Cheneys spoke at the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research.Win McNamee—Getty Images
No regrets from the former VP

Former Vice President Dick Cheney on Tuesday stood by the Bush Administration’s decision to wage war in Iraq, saying he has never second-guessed the decision even with Iraq once again descending into chaos.

“I was a strong advocate of going into Iraq,” Cheney told PBS in an interview, a week after launching a new political group designed to boost his foreign policy and national security policies. “I think that was the right decision then, and I still believe that today.”

“I think we did what we had to do,” Cheney added, saying he is still not convinced Iraq didn’t have weapons of mass destruction before the 2003 invasion. “And you don’t get to go back and say, well, we would have—what if we’d ignored all the intelligence?”

Cheney blasted President Barack Obama’s handling of the situation in Iraq, saying he should have more forcefully pushed to keep U.S. troops in the country after 2011 to help keep the country stable. “For me, the bottom line was, when we left office, Iraq was in good shape,” Cheney said. “And now we’re in a situation where obviously we’ve got another big problem.”

But the former Vice President largely agreed with Obama’s handling of the current crisis that has seen the extremist group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) make significant gains in the country. Cheney called for the deployment of additional U.S. military advisers and a swift transition for the Iraqi government, and he warned that American airstrikes could have unintended complications. Cheney said the U.S. response to the Iraq crisis must be part of a broader strategy for the volatile region that he says Obama has not yet developed. He also called on Obama to halt the planned withdrawal of American troops from Afghanistan by the end of 2016.

“I would stop talking about withdrawing from Afghanistan,” Cheney said. “We ought to stay in Afghanistan. We shouldn’t be scaling back.”

Cheney also called for Obama to swiftly work to boost Egyptian President Abdul Fattah al-Sisi, the former military leader who deposed the elected Muslim Brotherhood-led government before his election this year. “I’d help al-Sisi every chance I got,” Cheney said.

Cheney said he was unaware of the conviction of three Al Jazeera journalists in Egypt this week, which has been condemned by the U.S. and by European governments. “I haven’t seen that. I’m not familiar with it,” Cheney said of the news which dominated the front pages of national newspapers Tuesday. “I missed that one.”



This a-hole has a lot of nerve, he needs to continue to live a disgraced life hidden away. He's lucky he wasn't prosecuted.
 
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grokit

grokit

well-worn member
But was it seedless watermelon...
:D

Mexican Drug Cartel Tried to Smuggle Marijuana Disguised as Fruit
Jun 23, 2014

watermelons_pot2.jpg


A Mexican drug cartel was caught trying to smuggle millions of dollars worth of marijuana into the United States by painting packages to look like fruit.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents stopped a suspicious tractor trailer last week on Interstate 19, south of Tucson, Arizona. Inside, the driver said, was a shipment of watermelons. But when agents inspected the shipment using X-ray imaging, they discovered thefruit was actually packages of marijuana painted to look like watermelons. At the time it was stopped, the truck was about 20 miles past the US border.

“These criminals use a lot of unique ways to try to conceal their narcotics,” Tucson CBP Agent Bryan Flowers said. “We’ve seen individuals use false compartments in the seats and gas tanks. We’ve also found marijuana in tractor trailers here before.”

The driver of the truck remains in custody.


[Source]
 
thisperson

thisperson

Ruler of all things person
I do recall that a comedian showed a picture of him in pants with an erection and made a note of how hung he was.

I didn't need to see that and was one of the reasons I disliked that comedian. I think I saw a total of 15 minutes of him in my entire life (through clips). Forgot his name though.

So yeah, he's right. All of the above. :lol:
 
thisperson,
grokit

grokit

well-worn member
tuk said:
If ever a drone strike was morally justified.....this is it.
Click to expand...
That's a BIG IF, but with that qualifier I agree 100%.

EveryDayAmnesiac said:
This guy either has balls that swing down to his knees, or he is literally insane, or he's just a fucking dick.
Click to expand...
A person named richard has something like 13 different choices of nicknames.

He literally chose to be a (fucking) dick!
:rofl::mental:
 
S

StickyShisha2

Well-Known Member

A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention?

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.

According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable. Here’s to technology.
 
cybrguy

cybrguy

Putin is a War Criminal
Caligula said:
How much are those and where can I order one?!? Also is it adjustable? I'm thinking I'm bigger than the average Chinese man.

They tend to be shorter over there.
Click to expand...

You could always do what Thad Cochran does and just find yourself a farm animal...
 
cybrguy,
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CarolKing

CarolKing

Singer of songs and a vapor connoisseur
http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/06/27/plane-makes-emergency-landing-on-arlington-highway/#

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/06/27/plane-makes-emergency-landing-on-arlington-highway/#




Update at 8:25 p.m.: Highway 287 has been reopened, according to Arlington police.

Original post: One person was injured after a small plane made an emergency landing on a flyover ramp at Highway 287 and Interstate 20 Friday afternoon, Arlington Fire Department said.




One person was injured after a small plane made an emergency landing on a flyover ramp at U.S. Highway 287 and Interstate 20 on Friday afternoon, the Arlington Fire Department said. (G.J. McCarthy/Staff Photographer)

According to Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Lynn Lunsford, police said the pilot of the single-engine Cessna was not injured, but the plane struck a black truck injuring at least one person. The plane was then struck by a second truck.


The driver of the black truck suffered minor injuries after part of the plane’s wing went through the windshield, according to police.

The plane was towing a banner when the pilot told air traffic controllers the plane had lost oil pressure, Lunsford said. The pilot dropped the banner and made an emergency landing just before 5 p.m.

Northbound Highway 287 to westbound I-20 has been shut down, according to the fire department.

Lunsford said the FAA is investigating.


 
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basement farmer

basement farmer

My face is melting...
StickyShisha said:

A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention?

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.

According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable. Here’s to technology.
Click to expand...

Being the luddite that I am, I'll continue to do it old school:

 
cawshook

cawshook

Solod out.
Israel is still murdering and imprisoning Palestinians because they're searching for the three missing teenagers. I'll bet my house that they're fucking liars and there are no missing teens. I bet it was all made up as an excuse to further exercise injustice on the Palestinian people. Crazy how it happened at a time when they need US support the most. Like the Hamas bomb threat they claim they discovered targeting the US embassy in Israel which also coincidentally came at a time when there was tension brewing between the US and Israel. I dont trust these Zionists one bit.
Rant over.
 
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