Schizophrenic

[grokit]

The people I know that have success with ssri drugs all tried at least a few before they found the one that actually helped. And some of the drugs they tried and rejected along the way actually made things worse.

 

[shadyonedeath]

The people I know that have success with ssri drugs all tried at least a few before they found the one that actually helped. And some of the drugs they tried and rejected along the way actually made things worse.

also known as "priming". Even families members admit they were given several drugs before finding the 'right one" that works. Same story, different mouth. Seems to be a common factor excuse for psychiatrists.

 

[arf777]

That was a misquote. Attack is a strong violent word. Expressing contempt might be more appropriate.

You're still failing to understand that there is no right or wrong. Only perspective and what you believe. The problem is he's imposing his beliefs on others and simultaneously snubbing the members of this forum who are contributing to this thread, which from my perspective is helpful.

I'm sorry, but there is right and wrong on many, many issues. The method to get there is called "science". For instance, Newton's gravitational equations, Einstein's relativity equations, the structure of DNA, toolkit genes, the evolution of specific forms and animals, the 'iron law' of bureaucracy, world-wide correlation between access to healthcare and lifespan. These are objectively "right" based on decades of hypothesis testing.

Forgetting that opens the door to creationism, religious fundamentalism (as a rightfully held 'opinion'), and political extremism - both the Nazis and Fascists picked the science they liked and threw the rest away, to a much greater degree than almost anywhere else EXCEPT parts of the modern U.S.

And some neuroscience is at a similar level of fact. We know the four neurotransmitters that run the brain. We now know that neurons in the brain use DNA differently than other cells (recent discovery). Clinical neuroscience and psych aren't there yet, and have huge potential to be hijacked, but they are supposed to be based on objective science.

And though I generally believe in cultural relativity, there are plenty of things that are wrong in the moral sense as well, without being just opinion - genocide, child abuse, rape, political, racial and gender oppression, corporate personhood (ok, that last one may be opinion).

 

[JCat]

I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in here @shadyonedeath (I've held off this long ) ...

I think this forum is a great place to discuss one's issues (contrary to what some others may think), discussion is healthy and this forum has many intelligent people that can offer valid opinions. Some may be helpful, some less so, but sometimes just talking about things helps, so all the more power to you (just don't do anything drastic without talking to your family/doctors/whoever you trust first).

From what I've been reading it seems to me you obviously have something (just my personal experience, and general knowledge from struggling with mental problems myself ... ADHD, bipolar, depression, ...) I'm not an expert and can't say whether you are schizophrenic or not, but you definitely seem to be struggling with some issues that I'm pretty sure aren't "normal" (not to say that anyone's really normal)

You need to do what's best for you whether that's evaluating further medications, talk therapy (both organized and other), personal research, looking for other doctors/psychiatrists/psychologists ... mental health issues are not easy to deal with (personal experience tells me so)

And just want to mention something to those discouraging the OP from having posted here in the first place ... not all of us have access to doctors/psychiatrists/psychologists/health care professionals/etc ... so if one doesn't post here they may have nowhere else to go ...

For example, I live in a remote location ... I've only managed to talk to a psychiatrist once in over 3 years of dealing with my issues ... and this was through video conference ... the local mental health clinic won't help me as I'm employed and not completely desolate so don't meet their priority list (they have much more severe cases so I will just always get bumped off and will never get to see a psychiatrist ... the psychologists they have working for them have less education than myself and less education than my wife in psychology even though she's just got a minor in sociology from University ... they lack empathy and have no idea what they are talking about)

... you find help where you can ... I see someone at the addiction centre because that's the only place I've found someone compassionate and intelligent enough that I can work with on my bipolar disorder/ADHD/... ... and alcohol addiction issues that I've generally had under control since being diagnosed.

Edit: and as far as doctors go ... I currently have lucked into a decent doctor, but it took me ~7 years being back here before this happened. My prior doctor basically said: "if you want a lithium prescription, come back and see me, otherwise, I can't help you ..." ... and it's worth noting that lithium was warned against and should only be considered as a last option in the report from the psychiatrist (which luckily I requested a copy of and reviewed myself as obviously my doctor didn't take the time to read it since he was advising me to take lithium as a first option despite the psychiatrist recommending it only as a last option to try due to its inherit dangers to someone like me who cycles rapidly ...

 

[grokit]

If lithium is being considered, st. john's wort could be a "natural" alternative.
It's an herbal supplement that comes in capsules or as tea.
Now I'm wondering about vaping st. john's wort.

 

[shadyonedeath]

If lithium is being considered, st. john's wort could be a "natural" alternative.
It's an herbal supplement that comes in capsules or as tea.
Now I'm wondering about vaping st. john's wort.

I have tried St. Johns worts. But I keep myself in check fine. The issue is being mis-diagnosed for being a whistle blower.

 

[shadyonedeath]

From what I've been reading it seems to me you obviously have something (just my personal experience, and general knowledge from struggling with mental problems myself ... ADHD, bipolar, depression, ...) I'm not an expert and can't say whether you are schizophrenic or not, but you definitely seem to be struggling with some issues that I'm pretty sure aren't "normal" (not to say that anyone's really normal)

You need to do what's best for you whether that's evaluating further medications, talk therapy (both organized and other), personal research, looking for other doctors/psychiatrists/psychologists ... mental health issues are not easy to deal with (personal experience tells me so)
...

Thanks.

What kind of mental struggles did you deal with?

What does your wife think about Anti-psychotics? What does say they're for? What does she THINK they're for? Why are they so poison-like and debilitating?



To me it seems once a person has experienced 'psychosis', that they have some type of 'edge' over the rest of the ordinary individuals. They become disconnected and lose their sense of identity, giving them freedom to do whatever. Many people in prison are deemed psychotic; for exploiting their manipulation, social intelligence, and dominance. They see through morality as 'bullshit' and hypocrisy between the people in power and the masses. If these people were seen as animals, they would be the Alpha-minded; predatory, pack leaders, dominant, aggressive. Why would we eliminate the alpha's from society? Or could it be other Alpha's eliminating other Alpha's before they're knocked off their throne? A more sophisticated mental form of dominance. Is it because 'alpha's' are of no use to the society? With their live fast and die young lifestyle? Because the society(or people on top) produces more servitude and money through followers instead of leaders? "Beta's"; the docile, submissive and followers?
It seems the solution is convincing the 'alpha's' to take the pills to disable the edge, but also immobilize/eliminate that person. (I believed anti-psychotics are a forum of sterilization and have birth defects). Like I said before, everything must be done through one's own will. It leaves no trace. If you can coerce people into thinking theirs something wrong with them, convince a society, and use the power of peer pressure and the need for social acceptance, you can make most people do anything.

 

[Ansel]

I take an anti psychotic and an SSRI for psychosis.

 

[jdee]

I know 2 schizos. One guy is always walking down this very long road with his bike, looking at the ground for random stuff to pick up, he says it helps him deal with the voices. He literally does this all day everyday even in terrible weather. The other guy (who lives in LA half the time) is always talking about how Britney Spears is a huge bitch because she made him feel like a piece of crap, how Bill Gates is going to pay him a billion dollars in return for a favour he did for him. Or how the wives of basketball players got out of a limo to attack him.

Let's look at what happens to people when they go against the grain. A few examples come to mind. First we have Christopher Dorner, LAPD officer who wanted to expose corruption. His treatment, burned alive in a cabin by the LAPD. Next we have computer hacker Barnaby Jack, who was just about to give a speech on how to exploit a weakness in pacemakers to kill people like Dick Cheney, a huge fan of pacemakers. He very randomly and mysteriously died just before giving that speech. How about investigative journalist Michael Hastings who wrote articles making the military look bad. Around the same time a white paper was released showing exactly how one can take control of a cars system by hacking the onboard electronics, Michael Hastings had warned his friends he was being pursued by feds, when all of a sudden he decided to 'lose control of his vehicle' going down a straight road at a high rate of speed and exploded into a fireball.

“The CIA’s campaign to popularize the term ‘conspiracy theory’ and make conspiracy belief a target of ridicule and hostility must be credited, unfortunately, with being one of the most successful propaganda initiatives of all time.”

 

[shadyonedeath]

I know 2 schizos. One guy is always walking down this very long road with his bike, looking at the ground for random stuff to pick up, he says it helps him deal with the voices. He literally does this all day everyday even in terrible weather. The other guy (who lives in LA half the time) is always talking about how Britney Spears is a huge bitch because she made him feel like a piece of crap, how Bill Gates is going to pay him a billion dollars in return for a favour he did for him. Or how the wives of basketball players got out of a limo to attack him.

Let's look at what happens to people when they go against the grain. A few examples come to mind. First we have Christopher Dorner, LAPD officer who wanted to expose corruption. His treatment, burned alive in a cabin by the LAPD. Next we have computer hacker Barnaby Jack, who was just about to give a speech on how to exploit a weakness in pacemakers to kill people like Dick Cheney, a huge fan of pacemakers. He very randomly and mysteriously died just before giving that speech. How about investigative journalist Michael Hastings who wrote articles making the military look bad. Around the same time a white paper was released showing exactly how one can take control of a cars system by hacking the onboard electronics, Michael Hastings had warned his friends he was being pursued by feds, when all of a sudden he decided to 'lose control of his vehicle' going down a straight road at a high rate of speed and exploded into a fireball.

“The CIA’s campaign to popularize the term ‘conspiracy theory’ and make conspiracy belief a target of ridicule and hostility must be credited, unfortunately, with being one of the most successful propaganda initiatives of all time.”

Christopher Dorner shouldn't have killed those two people in order to expose corruption...I don't know why someone would do that other than revenge, knowing there was no way coming back. And the LAPD shouldn't have burned him alive either. Comes to show what lengths our gov. agencies go through into order to silence individuals. He should have stood trial.

 

[TechnicalToker]

I agree strongly with Jcat. Its going to take to time and trial and error to get your meds (whatever they may be) inorder. Lithium is a broad stroke med and can be fatal along with some other serious side effects. I have a friend that is diagnosed schizo and has been much better the last couple of years and attributes that to stopping alcohol and MJ.

 

[arf777]

Christopher Dorner shouldn't have killed those two people in order to expose corruption...I don't know why someone would do that other than revenge, knowing there was no way coming back. And the LAPD shouldn't have burned him alive either. Comes to show what lengths our gov. agencies go through into order to silence individuals. He should have stood trial.

I don't know, I work in DC, deal with the Federal gov all the time, and they are some of the most inefficient and least discreet people I've ever met. They babble incessantly about stuff they know they shouldn't. Like openly, on the DC Metro and at Starbucks. I just don't see them as skilled enough to pull off a lot of this shit. The NSA, maybe - they do keep mum about a lot, and recruit some very smart people. But the rest? The attorneys I work with regularly run circles around them. That includes DoD and the military. And it isn't like the best and the brightest become attorneys these days, though we tend to have some of the best of those that do become lawyers.

 

[lwien]

I don't know, I work in DC, deal with the Federal gov all the time, and they are some of the most inefficient and least discreet people I've ever met. They babble incessantly about stuff they know they shouldn't. Like openly, on the DC Metro and at Starbucks. I just don't see them as skilled enough to pull off a lot of this shit. The NSA, maybe - they do keep mum about a lot, and recruit some very smart people. But the rest? The attorneys I work with regularly run circles around them. That includes DoD and the military. And it isn't like the best and the brightest become attorneys these days, though we tend to have some of the best of those that do become lawyers.

TOTALLY agree, other than NSA staying mum...........lol. (and I used to work there)

But seriously, people give our government WAYYYYY too much credit in being able to pull off some of these "conspiracy theories". They're just not that smart, not that well coordinated and surly not that secretive (on a large scale) to be able to keep anything secret like some of things being mentioned in this thread. A lot of this shit ONLY happens in movies, but I guess the boogy man will always exist in those dark shadows that used to inhabit only our closets and under our beds.

 

[Magic9]

A few years (maybe a few months) ago, all this NSA stuff would be considered a wild ass conspiracy theory.

I'm not one for conspiracies as a whole, I really like logic.

It's not the boogy man I fear, it's my fellow man, my government, and rich people.

 

[zymos]

As both Noam Chomsky and The X Files have pointed out, when people are spending all their time with dubious "conspiracy theories", they are often ignoring the very real things our government is doing right out in the open.

 

[arf777]

A few years (maybe a few months) ago, all this NSA stuff would be considered a wild ass conspiracy theory.

I'm not one for conspiracies as a whole, I really like logic.

It's not the boogy man I fear, it's my fellow man, my government, and rich people.

Actually plenty of folks in DC already knew and were talking about it. Just had no documentation to prove it, so it wasn't reported.

 

[lwien]

A few years (maybe a few months) ago, all this NSA stuff would be considered a wild ass conspiracy theory.

Really? Maybe I'm a bit jaded because I used to work there, but even if I hadn't, I don't think I'd be surprised at all by these recent revelations.

 

[grokit]

There's been a wikipedia article about ECHELON for like ever.

As far as "going against the grain", edward snowden did it the right way. Imo he is a true patriot and therefore didn't have a choice but to reveal. He was vilified by the asshats spying on everybody, but celebrated as a hero all around the world (and even here in the USA by real people that matter like senators from both sides of the isle).

I was just listening to NPR this morning and one of the things he released was a list of all the gadgets that the NSA can use to pirate data from our computers, circa 5 years ago.
Here's an example:

"The report centers on how the NSA's Tailored Access Operations division purportedly uses everything from networks' technical flaws to modified USB plugs to access targets' systems and data. The unit, known as TAO, is seen as an elite group whose focus is on producing high-quality and hard-to-gain intelligence, Der Spiegel reports, citing internal NSA documents."
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way...etails-nsas-high-tech-tricks-for-snaring-data

Much more in depth:
http://www.spiegel.de/international...ffort-to-spy-on-global-networks-a-940969.html

More on NSA's secret toolbox:
http://www.spiegel.de/international...fers-spy-gadgets-for-every-need-a-941006.html

It's not paranoia if they're out to get you!

 

[JCat]

Thanks.

What kind of mental struggles did you deal with?

What does your wife think about Anti-psychotics? What does say they're for? What does she THINK they're for? Why are they so poison-like and debilitating?



To me it seems once a person has experienced 'psychosis', that they have some type of 'edge' over the rest of the ordinary individuals. They become disconnected and lose their sense of identity, giving them freedom to do whatever. Many people in prison are deemed psychotic; for exploiting their manipulation, social intelligence, and dominance. They see through morality as 'bullshit' and hypocrisy between the people in power and the masses. If these people were seen as animals, they would be the Alpha-minded; predatory, pack leaders, dominant, aggressive. Why would we eliminate the alpha's from society? Or could it be other Alpha's eliminating other Alpha's before they're knocked off their throne? A more sophisticated mental form of dominance. Is it because 'alpha's' are of no use to the society? With their live fast and die young lifestyle? Because the society(or people on top) produces more servitude and money through followers instead of leaders? "Beta's"; the docile, submissive and followers?
It seems the solution is convincing the 'alpha's' to take the pills to disable the edge, but also immobilize/eliminate that person. (I believed anti-psychotics are a forum of sterilization and have birth defects). Like I said before, everything must be done through one's own will. It leaves no trace. If you can coerce people into thinking theirs something wrong with them, convince a society, and use the power of peer pressure and the need for social acceptance, you can make most people do anything.

I'm type II rapid cycling bipolar ... which fits pretty accurately from what I can tell ... I don't experience my life the same way as most people I know and I don't often experience the middle ground but tend to be either quite high/"up" or quite depressed/"down" ... very rarely in between and when I am I'm just waiting to see which way things swing and trying to do things that will cause the "up" swing as opposed to down. There are good things and bad with this ... when I'm up I get ahead in my career and move personal goals ahead and just feel happy almost all the time and need very little sleep and life is great (I do have to be extremely cautious not to do anything stupid though as I tend to forget to think about consequences and just act as I feel that nothing could go wrong and everything is wonderful ... I'm not so high that I think I'm Jesus Christ or anything or think that the government is out to get me personally!)

I do tend to obsess over things and think people are thinking things about me and I internalize peoples actions as being personal against me, etc., etc. ... (but I know this to not be true ... 90+% of the time my obsessive concerns are just that ... obsessive ... despite intellectually knowing this, my perception of how I feel/think people perceive me does affect me ... but I know it to be a false reality ... it's mostly in my head ... and have to manage it as such ... I have to frequently stop and do a self-assessment of my thoughts and weigh their validity ... it is after all up to me how much truth I attribute to each individual thought that goes through my head ... and when I'm up its constant the barrage of thoughts and information both true and false .... Indica's help me quite a bit when I'm really up when I feel I need to knock myself down a few notches ...)

I don't want to speak for my wife ... but when we discussed me going on lithium, valproic acid, Seroquel, Depakote, etc. we both decided that as long as I can manage my symptoms without (and with the help of cannabis) I should avoid them ... maybe I'm a bit too much of a hippie at heart but I feel that I don't want to go down the heavier pharmaceutical route for life unless I have no other choice ...

Based on your posts, you seem to experience the extremes and the internalization and paranoia to a much greater extent than I ... so you need to weight the pros and cons of all options ... you should discuss how you feel with people you trust (sometimes I talk about my plans with my wife and she gives me an honest opinion on how she thinks/feels as opposed to the filtered versions I get everywhere else ... if my wife thinks its crazy or stupid it sometimes gives me a bit of a reality check as I know she's not "out to get me" ... so maybe I should listen to her ... as someone that suffers from bipolar I know my thoughts aren't always reliable and I need to be aware of that and not immediately assume the worst of people and have to constantly go back and question my own thoughts ... after all, my own mind often tries to fuck me over ...)

I'm not saying that you haven't suffered some extreme prejudice at work etc ... but there's no way any health care professionals should have informed your work about your mental health .... pretty sure that violates a shitload of privacy laws and doctors could lose their licenses for such things ... but I'm in Canada and am not sure how your laws compare in the US for this stuff ....

And just as an FYI ... my primary employer (as well as my primary customer for my side business as a consultant) both know that I'm bipolar and as such there are times where maybe my behavior and actions aren't perfect ... far from it ... my manic side can be pretty intense at times ... but we work together around my issues so that I can continue to provide them with value in service (I'm a software developer primarily and manage the Town's IT as my side gig). No one is perfect, and I feel that everyone around me supports me with my challenges (although at times I feel everyone is out to get me I know this is not true ...)

I could be completely off base ... but you need to stop blaming everyone around you and truly assess and discuss with people you trust what's going through your mind. I'm sure some of your problems are real and in some ways you are getting fucked over ... but good chance a lot of your issues are just perception as well ... might be worth considering ... what appears to be true in one's manic mind might not always be actually true .... maybe you were misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and maybe you weren't ... but you should approach it from both sides ....

ie.

1. If I'm 100% sane and everyone is out to get me than what's the story?
2. If you have some sort of issue, then what is actually true versus what is just perception?

Talk to people you love and trust ... hopefully they can help you sort out what is what ... once you sort it out maybe it will help you develop a plan?

Anyways ... you should probably ignore my whole post (or at least weigh it with a grain of salt) as these are just the ramblings of the slightly less than sane who's far from in a perfect place right now ...

 

[shadyonedeath]

A few years (maybe a few months) ago, all this NSA stuff would be considered a wild ass conspiracy theory.

I'm not one for conspiracies as a whole, I really like logic.

It's not the boogy man I fear, it's my fellow man, my government, and rich people.

Actually plenty of folks in DC already knew and were talking about it. Just had no documentation to prove it, so it wasn't reported.

Curious to what you're talking about...i'm not up with current events.

 

[arf777]

Curious to what you're talking about...i'm not up with current events.

We're talking about the revelations of NSA spying on world leaders, collecting internet and cell phone metadata on almost all Americans, etc, all now documented due to Eric Snowden.

 

[grokit]

Just check the links I provided in my last post and you'll be all caught up !

 

[Magic9]

Really? Maybe I'm a bit jaded because I used to work there, but even if I hadn't, I don't think I'd be surprised at all by these recent revelations.

I wasn't much surprised myself, but I would wager the majority of Americans would be surprised if they found out the govt. was spying on them TODAY. Let alone back when the story broke.


@arf777 - Next time you have some insider knowledge concerning my constituitional rights, feel free to feel me in lol.

@shadyonedeath - You know that feeling of being watched? The fuckers really are.

Not just the Feds anymore. Locals are in on it to. Old article but scary.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/15/AR2007081502430.html

 

[lwien]

I wasn't much surprised myself, but I would wager the majority of Americans would be surprised if they found out the govt. was spying on them TODAY.

Hell, the majority of Americans believe everything in the Bible is true, so yeah, I guess I agree with you.

 

[grokit]

Hell, the majority of Americans believe everything in the Bible is true, so yeah, I guess I agree with you.

"God is an ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance"

~ Neil deGrasse Tyson