Random thoughts

Buildozer

Buildozer

Baked & Fried
Morty said:
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Как была написана главная музыкальная тема сериала «Твин Пикс»? | Пикабу

#twin peaks from WHAT YEAR IS THIS?
 
His_Highness

His_Highness

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Stickstones will be hosting another live Q and A Youtube session beginning at 5PM eastern TODAY! The link is on the "Watch on YOUTUBE" link below.


Aside from any questions you might like to ask I believe he will:
- Demo the Zion
- Demo the Prrl

See ya there!!!!
 
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gaseous_clay

gaseous_clay

Well-Known Member
So reality kinda sucks.

I have a kid who is like 30. Her mom & I never got along. Childhood was spent with her in the middle of mom's mind games of "Let's see how much I can fuck with your dad, since he doesn't give a damn about what I say." Things like when it is my day to have her, calling them when the dropoff is 90 minutes late only to have the kid put the phone down, talk to mom in the background & say "We're not coming." Why? (more aside with mom) "Uhhh... Because... I don't want to." Really? You don't want to see me? "Uhhh... Ummm. Yeah."

Last actual gift I put thought into to buy her was a laptop computer, since she had been downloading every virus known and unknown to mom's computer I thought it would be a good idea. Even asked her mom, who said it was a great idea. Fast forward to Christmas & she opened it up like it was already known what she was getting & all she had to say was "can this even go online?" Her mom was then overheard saying "Well, what do you expect from HIM?"

So it has been a lifetime of constant putting me down. I had hoped that eventually she would see me for who I am and that what her mother says about me is from a biased standpoint. Never have I once said an insult around her about her mother. When her mother was using her to try to get info to use against me. (she was like 6 or 7, and would start asking questions or saying things about her mom that were obviously rehearsed for me.) Initially I answered her as honestly as I could, without saying anything about her mother. That resulted in phone calls of her mother screaming at me about what I had said (though nothing was negative.) I stopped & just started saying "That's wonderful" to anything she said that was obviously a setup. That solved that.

So fast forward to now, when she has been an adult for more than a decade. She has often continued to say things to me that are kinda disrespectful and never once has made any effort to ever see me, including when I have offered things like taking her to dinner when I happened to be passing thru the town where they moved. She had visited home many times, but would never even let me know she was around... even going so far as to beg my family members to stay with them while not even letting me know she was around (I had always told her my home was her home.)

I had let everything slide. Until now.

What was the breaking point? I joked about my grandfather (who I am named after) having grown up in a house with a step-brother who had the same name and how that had to be confusing. She responded by volunteering that she had talked with her boyfriend about names for a baby, should they ever have one and that one name she would never consider was mine. "What about a variation?" her boyfriend asked. Nope. There is no way she would ever even consider that.

I don't blame her for having that deep hatred of me go straight to her soul.

I also don't need to take it from an adult who should be able to make her own decisions.

So while not bailing out of her life, I'm no longer going to set myself up for disappointment and/or resentment.

Sometimes you have to realize who people are and that that is who they always will be, and accept it.

What that can mean is you no longer have to respond to every little thing they text you while yours to them go unanswered.

Here's your annual cards and money. Enjoy.

Washing your hands of a child is not easy, but when you truly realize that if they should get married or die that the wedding or funeral would be a place where you really aren't wanted... It's time to move on and not impose yourself where you're not wanted.

(sorry if this is too heavy. sometimes you need to get shit off your chest.)
 
His_Highness

His_Highness

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
gaseous_clay said:
So reality kinda sucks.

I have a kid who is like 30. Her mom & I never got along. Childhood was spent with her in the middle of mom's mind games of "Let's see how much I can fuck with your dad, since he doesn't give a damn about what I say." Things like when it is my day to have her, calling them when the dropoff is 90 minutes late only to have the kid put the phone down, talk to mom in the background & say "We're not coming." Why? (more aside with mom) "Uhhh... Because... I don't want to." Really? You don't want to see me? "Uhhh... Ummm. Yeah."

Last actual gift I put thought into to buy her was a laptop computer, since she had been downloading every virus known and unknown to mom's computer I thought it would be a good idea. Even asked her mom, who said it was a great idea. Fast forward to Christmas & she opened it up like it was already known what she was getting & all she had to say was "can this even go online?" Her mom was then overheard saying "Well, what do you expect from HIM?"

So it has been a lifetime of constant putting me down. I had hoped that eventually she would see me for who I am and that what her mother says about me is from a biased standpoint. Never have I once said an insult around her about her mother. When her mother was using her to try to get info to use against me. (she was like 6 or 7, and would start asking questions or saying things about her mom that were obviously rehearsed for me.) Initially I answered her as honestly as I could, without saying anything about her mother. That resulted in phone calls of her mother screaming at me about what I had said (though nothing was negative.) I stopped & just started saying "That's wonderful" to anything she said that was obviously a setup. That solved that.

So fast forward to now, when she has been an adult for more than a decade. She has often continued to say things to me that are kinda disrespectful and never once has made any effort to ever see me, including when I have offered things like taking her to dinner when I happened to be passing thru the town where they moved. She had visited home many times, but would never even let me know she was around... even going so far as to beg my family members to stay with them while not even letting me know she was around (I had always told her my home was her home.)

I had let everything slide. Until now.

What was the breaking point? I joked about my grandfather (who I am named after) having grown up in a house with a step-brother who had the same name and how that had to be confusing. She responded by volunteering that she had talked with her boyfriend about names for a baby, should they ever have one and that one name she would never consider was mine. "What about a variation?" her boyfriend asked. Nope. There is no way she would ever even consider that.

I don't blame her for having that deep hatred of me go straight to her soul.

I also don't need to take it from an adult who should be able to make her own decisions.

So while not bailing out of her life, I'm no longer going to set myself up for disappointment and/or resentment.

Sometimes you have to realize who people are and that that is who they always will be, and accept it.

What that can mean is you no longer have to respond to every little thing they text you while yours to them go unanswered.

Here's your annual cards and money. Enjoy.

Washing your hands of a child is not easy, but when you truly realize that if they should get married or die that the wedding or funeral would be a place where you really aren't wanted... It's time to move on and not impose yourself where you're not wanted.

(sorry if this is too heavy. sometimes you need to get shit off your chest.)
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I am so sorry to hear that. You did the right thing. Many wouldn't have been able to take the high road like you. I hope someday your daughter comes to realize it.
 
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