Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

[Enchantre]

I stopped having significant digestive issues (IOW: constipation) within a few weeks of dropping wheat, legumes, soy, and corn from my diet.

Any one of those categories, at just one meal, will put me back there for about three days.

 

[Fame Is A Vapor]

Looks like we've continued this 'toilet art' topic. Excellent. I'm on solid ground here...

Now, I don't want to diminish any of the masterpieces I'm sure all of you have created in your porcelain bowls at one time or another.... just be aware that unless you've "Pollack'd" [h/t: Stu] your toilet AND underpants with blood, mucus, AND diarrhea, then you haven't really "Pollack'd" yet...just sayin...

 

[Tweek]

hope @dorkus_molorkus is ok with those fires raging out in Australia. I send my best to our Aussie brothers & sisters.

Come back soon, Molardass

 

[mvapes]

I concur with my man tweek and my heart as well goes out to our brothers from down under. If there's anything we could do please let us know so we, as pot heads we can procrastinate a solution.







You know we're here for you bro. Even tweek.

 

[dorkus_molorkus]

thanks to Twerd and others for their concern.

its ok everyone.
my house is made of asbestos & therefore is fireproof.

All the houses that burnt down were not made from asbestos.
whose living in the carcinogen filled hellhole now cocksuckers?

yeah, if you aint got an asbestos house, you a chump.


All is well, I have just been at work. @Tweek has called in sick with syphilis 3 times this week & I have been covering all his shifts.

Normally, I am just being all cool n shit.
Like this.

Now I have posted these recently, but Mom spoiled all the fun by having morals & she closed down that thread.

So, I would hate to see such flattering guises of myself vanish into the ether.

Now ladies, I would advise some self restraint. My days of fathering random children & being passed around between miscellaneous hotties like some testosterone filled doobie are over.
this little symbol sums it up perfectly.

The only one swinging tarzan-like offa my nuts nowdays is Mrs Dorkus.
(I love you honey, see I edited the pic with my nuts hanging out. arent I a good boy?)

 

[Stu]

Why the blocked-out beer bottle, Dorkus? Ashamed of your brand?

Oh, and thanks for editing out your balls. And while we are on the subject, you can stop sending me your home made annual calendar of Dorkus ball photos. 2013 was particularly offensive, and I do not care to see what the 2014 version looks like.

Oh, and buy a fuckin' razor please.

 

[momofthegoons]

thanks to Twerd and others for their concern.

its ok everyone.
my house is made of asbestos & therefore is fireproof.

All the houses that burnt down were not made from asbestos.
whose living in the carcinogen filled hellhole now cocksuckers?

yeah, if you aint got an asbestos house, you a chump.


All is well, I have just been at work. @Tweek has called in sick with syphilis 3 times this week & I have been covering all his shifts.

Normally, I am just being all cool n shit.
Like this.

Now I have posted these recently, but Mom spoiled all the fun by having morals & she closed down that thread.

So, I would hate to see such flattering guises of myself vanish into the ether.

Now ladies, I would advise some self restraint. My days of fathering random children & being passed around between miscellaneous hotties like some testosterone filled doobie are over.
this little symbol sums it up perfectly.

The only one swinging tarzan-like offa my nuts nowdays is Mrs Dorkus.
(I love you honey, see I edited the pic with my nuts hanging out. arent I a good boy?)

Geez dork... if I'd know you were going to take it like this and get all maudlin and shit... maybe I would have left it open for a bit longer. But... those are the breaks.

And thank you for posting the edited version of your balls pic. Poor Enchantre has only just gotten her eyesight back and Vicki is still having a rough go (hope you feel better soon hon). Again, thanks for giving the girls a break. Sincerely.

Now, I do happen to know that Tweek and mvapes are in particular need of some feces throwing. Perhaps you could focus your energy on that for a while, rather than traumatizing the womenfolk of our fair forum. Just a suggestion.

 

[dorkus_molorkus]

at least we now know where my balls actually went.......................

Moms wearing them.

you go girlfriend!

bwahahahahahaha!

I do wish to add, that as a member here at FC I have NEVER failed to deliver.
You asked, and I am but your humble servant.
Enjoy!

@Tweek , @mvapes , @Stu

Here is a hearty FUCK YOU! (oh, are we not doing that thread anymore?)

 

[momofthegoons]

Ahhh I always know I can depend on you for a bit of frivolity and poop dork; your record of always delivering stands firm.

So as not to be confused with a ball buster... I want to thank you for the loan of your balls dork. I'll try to take good care of them.

And your vid brings up an interesting idea... an FC Faux Fecal Finger team! I be honored if you would be Captain!

 

[dorkus_molorkus]

I would be honoured.
But its not fair on the other applicants.

so....
SEE MY FC FAUX FECAL FINGER FLING TEAM TRYOUT


Yes I know my house is a dump. Its a work in progress & Im building stuff.

and dont feel bad for the dog. he had it coming.

 

[momofthegoons]

Don't quite know what happened with posting your team captain pic last night, lol. When I signed off it hadn't posted and I gave up. Come on this morning and there were a bazillion of them.

But.... just shows everyone how smashing you would look as Captain @dorkus_molorkus

Now... about your tryout...... while admirable, I do believe you could get more loft with that throw. Keep practicing! Practice makes perfect. Try to hit the neighbor's yard two down. Now that would be impressive!

 

[Vicki]

Is it winter in Australia?

 

[Tweek]

Is it winter in Australia?

I go wild year round. Haven't been smooth all over since I was a baby.

 

[Enchantre]

"And how was everyone's meal?"
"The meal was excellent! My digestive system is dutifully turning it to feces as we speak"
[quoted across the breakfast table to me by my dear hubby - he's perusing notalwaysright.com

 

[deadheadbill]

Oh you guys and your runner up shit stories. Here is #1...err...#2.

This happened back in April. I have been blazing and drinking with friends all day long and we end up at this local bar. As I standing there I suddenly have this instant urge to shit myself.

It was one of those shit immediately or shit your pants moments, so thankfully the door was open. I rush in, drop trough and tear the joint up. Then as I'm getting up blam, I painted the back of the toilet and the tile wall behind it..

It's just about that time I hear "sir, your gonna have to get out, your in the ladies room".

I washed my hands and blasted by about 10 friends headed to the door, shit stains on the back of my pants and all. I had to do that kind of crab/backwards walk. You know, the one you use when something like that happens.

The worst part was I lost my MFLB that day and I was sure it was in that bathroom floor until my wife found it in the laundry a few days later.

 

[Tweek]

How romantic

 

[mvapes]

I see I have some reading to do, you guy's went nuts last night! And Dork, it's time to trim the trees brother - this ain't a 70's porn flick!

 

[t-dub]

From out of the black of the deep range back into the light of the deep strange . . . I return.

 

[Snappo]

Nice entrance!

 

[Tweek]

From out of the black of the deep range back into the light of the deep strange . . . I return.

 

[mvapes]

Yeah - T-Dub and Dorkus back in the house!

 

[t-dub]

A little celebration in t-dubs house tonight. The culmination of a dream from long, long, ago . . . I schlepped that bottle all the way back here from Moët & Chandon in Epernay years ago, its in the fridge right now . . . awaiting opening . . .

 

[t-dub]

Wow, I must say, the sherry tones that this bottle developed while aging are effing incredible . . . 20 years did not hurt this vintage a bit . . . But alas it is gone . . .

 

[Fame Is A Vapor]

Good to see you back, I was starting to wonder what had happend to you, @t-dub . Heard a rumor that maybe Nick Saban had hired a hitman or some deranged Alabaman had you taken out for recently producing these t-shirts ...

 

[Bob Loblaw]