Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

satyrday

satyrday

Well-Known Member
ShipDit said:
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Congratulations ShipFather! You've got your hands full again, I see. Too much tragedy in your life, but never a dull moment at least.

BTW, you look a lot like my best childhood friend. He was a wild man too. He pushed me to the edge many times. He's still around and I spy on his facebook page sometimes. One of these days we'll reconnect.

Glad to see you back!

Edit: Some tragedy like with your sister, but also a lot of good things, like your new God son.
 
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mvapes

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
This is what I left on his page...

Hey Matt - wanted to drop by and tell you that I did it. You know what I'm talking about, you know it's been tough on me. Between you departing and getting diagnosed with PD all in the last year has been a real challenge. But now I know what I have to do, I have to be strong - I am the one who's going to keep this family together.

I know this because of you, I'm sure you know you've left a huge emptiness here with us. But I promise, with you by my side I'm gonna fight this fucking disease and starting filling that void our family suffers with.

I love you Matt, even more now than ever. I also wanted to let you know that you saved my life Matt - in more ways than one, I promise to never forget that.

Here's one of your nieces acting silly. Their getting so big. I tell them all about Uncle Matt all the time.
 
satyrday

satyrday

Well-Known Member
mvapes said:
It's hard not fighting thought's like "why is G_d doing this to me" or is this what I get for being a drug addict?" - or is this just Karma for what I neglected in my past or what I've done? Cause what I remember was being a good boy, never cheated on a woman, I'm a loyal husband and father - unfortunately though when your a drug addict you tend to burn some people.

I didn't mean it. It wasn't me! But I guess it's better than the outcome my little brother had. How I wish he was here to lean on. I hope he watched over me and offers me the strength I need to be ok.

And I want you all to know, I'm venting. I'm not thinking of picking up a straw or G-d forbid something worse. I'm not that guy, I never will be again. I just need to talk to people who don't judge me, and some of you know exactly how I feel.
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Sorry, I'm way behind on this thread (moves so fast!). I know others have given excellent replies, and some that I haven't read yet may have covered this ground, but I wanted to throw in my :2c: (and some false modesty with that :2c: smiley lol).

My understanding is that we all have a lot of bad karma stored up that could ripen at any time. It doesn't necessarily mean that you've been a bad person in this lifetime, but that you, like everyone, have karmas ripening from your distant past, from other lifetimes even, that are causing you trouble. I think we all have to walk humbly not knowing when the shit could hit the fan. Of course some cause & effect relationships are more obvious and immediate, but I've known some extremely good people who have had very bad shit to deal with in their lifetime, and they don't seem to deserve any of it. The upside is that those karmic knots are being untangled, although in a very unpleasant manner. There are ways to mitigate karmas by performing certain spiritual activities. Sounds like you are already doing some of that in your everyday life with your family and friends.

I remember reading about a seeker who came to a somewhat dark guru asking to be released from spiritual conditions that were keeping him from pure transcendence. Next thing he knew his life was upside down in shit that the guru unleashed from the seeker's karmic storehouse. The shit you are dealing with is in a way a fast track to the other side - to major spiritual breakthroughs. Eventually you will look back on all of this as just a bad dream, but even now you can find a lot of joy in everyday living, which I know you are experiencing even here in this forum (I can sense your joy along with the pain).

I feel like a hypocrite making what you are going through sound like a positive thing, because I don't wish hard times on anyone - myself especially! But I've seen some very saintly people deal with deep shit (my mother for one), and some real assholes just skate through life. I believe the master time keeper tracks all such things, and no one truly escapes without hardship. But some old and perhaps even ancient karmas can lay dormant for a long time before they hatch. They create subtle problems the whole way through, but until they fully mature you often aren't forced to really change and become more spiritual. That doesn't mean you were a bad person before, maybe just a normal person and even a very lovable one, but now you are forced to become even greater - to drop that old baggage for good. It's a purifying by fire, but I can see that there is much mercy for you too, even now. I can see that in the pictures you post that show the love you receive at home.

Sorry to get so serious and maybe preachy sounding, but couldn't let your pain go with just an offhand comment.

Also, you have to think of all the people who have used the same drugs as you and have done other similar things who didn't get PD. I don't believe the karmic cause & effect thing with you is as simple as the fact that you did coke. There are many vices that can lead to ruin, but those deep karmic seeds have to be there in the first place, and we all have to deal with our own karma eventually, in one way or another, in this life or the next. We are all in fact doing that right now, but in most cases it doesn't hit with such a heavy blow that we have to stop and think so seriously about life. At least it seems you are taking that part of this negative ordeal as a gift and an opportunity to become a better family man, as you have stated here.

BTW, it's a lot easier to comment on somebody else's life than your own, so I appreciate your open and revealing posts about all of this. I makes me think about my own life and how to approach it more spiritually and with more appreciation for the small things.
 
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D

dorkus_molorkus

Well-Known Member
this is a little serious here.

The world is being lied to.
Sure this footage is from Egypt, but the west is itching to go to war in Syria.
If this shit is happening in Egypt, who says the gas attack in Syria went down the way we are being told?

Remember saddams non existent WMD's? mobile chemical weapons labs, 45mins to launch an attack blah, blah fucken blah.

ALL BULLSHIT!!!

Well here is some more bullshit for you.



I ask that you all at least have a look
and just entertain the possibliity that we are all being lied to.

 
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