AHA! THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!
I lurked, I signed up, I studied his methods, I befriended him... the man who would own every freakin' piece of glass I want. I would watch and envy, waiting for my day.
Gluttony was his name. Some might call him, Frederick McGuire, from the Land of Women I Love. The "Aussie"...
g'day, mate!
So I've been sick and in my altered states of mind(s) I formulated and schemed. I needed something to keep me stupid and the feeling of nails/glass every time I swallowed (or tried to vape) to go away. In my moment of brilliance inducing, excruciating pain... I discovered it!
I GIVE YOU...
IDKWTFTCIBIW (I Don't Know WTF To Call It, But It Works)
Looks top-heavy? Tip-prone? HELL NO! Solid as a rock. Could withstand winds at least up to 20mph gusts. The secret is the "core" (its a secret, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill you). A hint... the "core" is achieved with the use of beads. The superb balance, which literally directs the balance point on the piece, results in straight-line, downward gravity pull.
To achieve maximum diffusion, percolation and Glassmoothosity (don't ask, its far too technical), you have to achieve a forward degree of angle (approximately) 5%. This will result in the submerging of the first stage (TOP SECRET) perc slits. However, not enough forward degree of angle to expose, nor adversely effect the bubbler downstem. Again... TOP SECRET... but (hint) the beads play into this also.
So cry your eyes out, Frederick. Oh yeah... and you DG owners to. I'd post a video, but I'm not that cruel!
P.S. I suppose, if one of you wanted to straight up trade for a DG, mobius, etc... I might be willing to talk. But, you must vow to keep my trade secrets... secret.
P.S.S. Hey Frederick...