Spoiler alert - the plot for Moby Dick is below this, so if you haven't read the book, don't read this post, K?
Fibbers...
I don't watch much TV, but I catch the occasional minute here and there. I saw an ad for the new Moby Dick movie. Whats not to like? Bearded sailors being hammered to death by sea creatures. I was in the Navy, this'll be just like that. A couple of days later Mrs Killick says 'we should see The Revenant. Parts of it were filmed around where we used to live'. I see guys with beards, and figure the new Moby Dick movie is called The Revenant, and some parts of it are filmed in Montana and Alberta. It's been awhile since I read Moby, but there must have been a couple of mountain scenes I don't recall. It's happened before...
So anyways, we just came back from seeing The Revenant. The closest it got to a great white whale was DiCarp going over a waterfall in a bearskin suit. If you haven't seen it yet Leonid plays a guy who gets set on fire, survives indian attacks (casino indian, not India indian), bear attacks, human attacks, horse attacks, frenchmen attacks, and nature attacks. He spends the entire movie sleeping outside, in the Rocky Mountains, in winter, with absolutely nothing but enough gunpowder to cauterize his own cut open neck. Oh, he also has his pet horsie, Sleeping Bag', as a friend. So anyways, months of living in the wild, with nothing but his pet bearskin to keep him company, hair and beard getting longer and droopier the entire time, yet somehow, magically *and* mystically, his 'stache stays nice and short and neatly trimmed the entire time. It's crusted in snot, ice, and blood, including his own, other peoples, and horse. And fish, bird, remnants of wild western-style roadkill, buffalo, horse, and dirt. And nicely trimmed the entire movie. And he gets vaped up in an impromptu hotboxing session. It was really quite the thrill ride. No fecking whales anywhere tho...
Edit: bump.