Ok William Stryker
(just teasing a comic reference, he's the guy who wants to cure mutants)
Same, I am bad at ending a conversation naturally or a topic naturally and get the same feeling during that "silence" (I don't mind awkward silence really if brief), I rely on either branching from that topic to something else or some other sort of external stimuli to turn conversation toward (sports, tv, people, music, etc).
Most are socially awkward until they practice. It is a set of skills. As importantly, it seems the brain develops in spurts and there are critical times for certain tasks to be accomplished or mastery will never occur. (See, "Why Michael Couldn't Hit, and other Tales of the Neurology of Sports".) Because one of the diagnostic criteria for the spectrum has to do with the age when signs developed, social interaction may be something never mastered. There can, however, always be a lot of improvement. (Think of dogs. If they are not socialized by being exposed to new things, animals and people between the ages of 4-12 weeks [Some stretch it to 4 months], they may never feel comfortable with strangers or strange things.)
Pro tip: practice active listening.
Rather than trying to think of the next topic or thing to say, listen. If there is a lull in the conversation and you feel the need to do something, restate what you think the other person just said and ask if that's right. I'm sure there are tons of sites out there describing the technique. Even just mechanically following the rules can be miraculous. A South Park was just on re-runs that demonstrates the concept. In Erection Day, Cartman is the Cyrano of Jimmy's attempt to relieve himself.
http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/Erection_Day/Script
Waiter: Welcome to Buca de Fagghecini for the authentico experience Italiano. My name is Roma. Can I start you out with some lotsa pasta macaroni minis?
Jimmy: Uh, I think we're gonna try your authentic pizzareli casserona poppers.
Waiter: Right away. [walks away]
Shawna: You know that girl Sally Rauman at our school? I can't stand her.
Cartman: [at a nearby booth] Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy, even though what she's saying now isn't interesting at all, you say, "Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more."
Jimmy: Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more.
Shawna: Really? Well, Kelligan bought the same purse and I was like, "No WAY do I want it now!" because who wants a purse that both their best friends have, right? And so-
Cartman: [Roma sets some plates of food on his table] All right, when she stops yappin' again, say "Wow, I've never thought of it that way before, but you're right."
Shawna: I guess that's why I figured, "Who needs friends like THAT?"
Jimmy: Wow, I've never thought of it that way before, but you're right.
Shawna: It's like I told Debbie: "If you're gonna go out with my friends-"
Cartman: All right Jimmy, when she finally shuts her trap again, I want you to repeat whatever she said, and then follow it with "Wow, how insightful."
Shawna: "And so if you're gonna be that way, I don't need to be your friend."
Jimmy: "If you're gonna be that way, I don't need to be your friend." Wow, how insightful.
Shawna: You know, Jimmy, you are a great listener.
Jimmy: Really?
Shawna: Yeah. I mean, no other boys really communicate like you do.
Jimmy: Oh, I'm so glad you think so, Shawna, because I really wanna stick my penis in your vagina.
Cartman: Yes, nice, Jimmy, very nice.
Shawna: [stunned] ...What??? [crosses her arms and glares] I'm not doing that!
Jimmy: But the talent show is tomorrow night!
Shawna: Creep! [throws her glass of water at him and walks out. The water shorts out his headphones, and Cartman takes his off from the feedback]
Cartman: Aaagh!
Eye Contact is weird for me. Is it something neurotypicals (I also dislike this phrase) actively think about? I do look people in the eyes, but I don't really maintain eye contact throughout an entirety of a conversation? No one has ever mentioned a lack of eye contact from me so idk?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eye-contact-psychology-brain_us_585aabb7e4b0eb586484c17f
If eye contact has always felt a bit overwhelming for you, it’s not all in your head.
Maintaining direct eye contact really is strenuous for the brain, according to new research, and it uses up scarce cognitive resources that we need for things like reasoning and verbal processing.
I am relatively ignorant regarding the rest of the Spectrum, there is no curing me and the best cure imo is an understanding that you have it, because with that understanding you can work on making behavior changes and IMO behavior changes are more effective than medication (for most mental issues). I'm not saying that there aren't people who really need meds to function properly, but consider my brain is already different as an Aspeger and without diagnosis who really knows whats going on? Before I was diagnosed I took different SSRI's and other anti depressants as I was genuinely depressed, but it was because of a lack of understanding of myself. I know it's not a one shoe fits all but the knowledge I gained from my diagnosis led to me being able to actively try and change behaviors that were hindering me.
I'm ADHD but was not diagnosed until a few years ago. While I was given drugs, I have a lifetime of coping strategies I developed that had me feel they were not needed. You are the one who has the most control over your life. It's awesome you understand that.
I think a "cure" for some aspects of it, would be a good thing (I'm specifically talking about people with limited motor function) But I don't know how you could ever truly "cure" it.
I may or may not agree with the thought of Autism being cured in an adult. It seems likely there are epigenetic problems in brain development in some people that will be diagnosed on the spectrum. How can basic brain structure be "cured"? But, some studies point to a single protein that is deficient in the brain. If we can find a way to bring up the 50% nSR100 protein people up to 100%, could some be "cured"? It's like cancer. I used to think it could never be cured. Cancer is not cancer is not cancer. There are so many different types and different cells within a type, I could see no path to killing it all. Today? It seems like cures, or management, is within our grasps. Broad strategies can affect multiple problems cancer produces and paths it takes to destroy. The issues are far different. But, such thoughts give hope.
If you give the parents a choice, do I want my newborn baby to be autistic or not, they would choose non autistic. If you have to choose between a child with autism, or no child at all, and you want children obviously, most would choose a child with autism. I agree the choices are clear here.
You left out the "choice" some might make if there is ever a prenatal test developed. I suspect this is the fear groups have who don't want to talk about a cure. There is probably going to be a test available before a cure is available. (Even though the spectrum does not seem geared to a "test"-type answer at this time. It takes time to diagnose.) There will be a certain percentage who will terminate rather than parent.
I also think it is clear in your other example as well. And maybe this is my Asperger literalness too
But on one hand, you have your stepson who you love, and with that stepson comes his autism. If he was NT, would he be the same person? I reckon some aspects would be different and some would be the same. Would he be the same core of a person though? I guess I kind of equate choosing between him and not him as the same as choosing between Autistic Him and NT Him, because NT Him is not him. Does that make sense? Good post very thought provoking.
I think such questions are hard and why time travel is not usually done that well in literature. Cloning questions go here too. What is a person? Does a person have a soul?