Asperger's Syndrome & MMJ
- Thread starter DDave
- Start date
It's seems like forever since I've had time to lay out a rap! Too long!
=======================================================
"Mod Man Walking"
(feat. DDave & DJ Vape)
[Verse 1:]
Everybody make way for The Mod Man
I said to the vapers
And all they said
Is back to the lab
With ya scientific modding muddle
I'm vaping herb even though I break off some crumble
Let me vape forever and have a nice dream
Cause IF I combust
You're gonna hear me scream,
Trust me , you will not be a friend,
If I find your un-modded vape dumped on the west end
I'm a mod-man watchin' you vape to vape
Shiiiit!
My weed breathe so strong
You can taste it.
(Look out... here I comes)
(Oh my God it's him)
I vape when I walk
Modding makes me feel like I'm 6 feet 10
I be a mod-man walking
Always vapin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
[Chorus:]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
[Verse 2:]
This mod man walks between evil and good
The purgatory I'm livin in is misunderstood
Through his blood shot red eyes
Devil's watchin' The D.D.A.V.E Brotherhood.
But the mod man will walk it out, yeah walk it out.
So blazed, I be walking side steps
Got up and stepped into
The combuster's crib
So they came knocking at my crib
Until I finally came out
Rose up above them
And snuffed their flame out
The vape in my hand ready all the time
Check the Ouija board my spirit flying high you'll find
Chasing weed wasting demons that slipped through the vale
And won't go back
They'll pull tha vape out ya hand
And won't give it back
I be a mod man walking
Forever vapin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
[Chorus:]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
[Verse 3:]
I've modded vapes all the way around this planet twice
Lookin' for a way of how to end vaping blithe
All across the deserts and over all terrains
If I'm vaping why do I feel so much pain
I Be a mod man walking
Still creatin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
=======================================================
"Mod Man Walking"
(feat. DDave & DJ Vape)
[Verse 1:]
Everybody make way for The Mod Man
I said to the vapers
And all they said
Is back to the lab
With ya scientific modding muddle
I'm vaping herb even though I break off some crumble
Let me vape forever and have a nice dream
Cause IF I combust
You're gonna hear me scream,
Trust me , you will not be a friend,
If I find your un-modded vape dumped on the west end
I'm a mod-man watchin' you vape to vape
Shiiiit!
My weed breathe so strong
You can taste it.
(Look out... here I comes)
(Oh my God it's him)
I vape when I walk
Modding makes me feel like I'm 6 feet 10
I be a mod-man walking
Always vapin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
[Chorus:]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
[Verse 2:]
This mod man walks between evil and good
The purgatory I'm livin in is misunderstood
Through his blood shot red eyes
Devil's watchin' The D.D.A.V.E Brotherhood.
But the mod man will walk it out, yeah walk it out.
So blazed, I be walking side steps
Got up and stepped into
The combuster's crib
So they came knocking at my crib
Until I finally came out
Rose up above them
And snuffed their flame out
The vape in my hand ready all the time
Check the Ouija board my spirit flying high you'll find
Chasing weed wasting demons that slipped through the vale
And won't go back
They'll pull tha vape out ya hand
And won't give it back
I be a mod man walking
Forever vapin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
[Chorus:]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
Vape it out [x4]
Vape Vape Vape it out [x2]
[Verse 3:]
I've modded vapes all the way around this planet twice
Lookin' for a way of how to end vaping blithe
All across the deserts and over all terrains
If I'm vaping why do I feel so much pain
I Be a mod man walking
Still creatin'
Be ready when I drop by so you can vape me out
No doubt I'm a vape you out
That's what I'm talking 'bout
Everybody shout
Warning: This might get long (Perhaps that should be my username)
I found this thread a few weeks ago and just finished reading the whole thing today. I relate to many of the struggles here in my own way. I am self-diagnosed aspergers. I have suspected it for over 10 years but recent events have really made me self reflect and bring things to light.
Have some random things to say, in no particular order.
It was no surprise to me ddave that you were INTJ, I am INTJ as well. Actually I think most aspies may be. When I first saw your posts about mods for the silver surfer, I knew there was something different about you
Most people don't seem to have the same need for detail that some of us do. It's hard to explain to others, but I have a very deep thirst for knowledge. I simply can't help it. I will go on very long information binges, ignoring food, water, sleep, and even vape in search of knowledge
That song "Something is wrong with me" by Twiztid, WOW!! That song made me cry every single time I listened to it so far. And most people would say they have never seen me cry. Seems most people with aspergers grow up with very painful childhoods. Or perhaps ptsd and similar conditions exacerbate our symptoms or make it harder to be functional.
I got inspired to try microdosing today, I'm intrigued by trying lower vape temps and microdosing. But I find it very hard to control my usage sometimes, especially when I'm having a bad day/week/month. I'm trying it out today so far and actually I have liked the results a lot so far. Very clear headed.
I could talk all day about my problems and whatnot, I'll save that for another post
but in short, I also have lots of symptoms of depression, anhedonia, fatigue, ADHD comorbid with my aspergers.
One weird thing about me is that I'm a master communicator. People seem to like me almost instantly, and people generally tend to get a good impression of me. The only exception is, in the past, I could be a bit of an asshole if someone was being ignorant. Meaning, I tended to point out peoples' faults a lot, and also correct them when they're wrong. In a way that wasn't sensitive enough
But I feel like it's all a logical understanding of social norms to me.. everything in my world is in a logic box. My last job was a computer programmer before I quit (long story).
Anyways, if I had one thing to add to this discussion that hasn't been discussed so far.. it would be what I call the "goldfish effect".
I'm not sure if it's related to aspergers, or ptsd, or something else. I had a head injury that required stitches as a baby, and again as a teen, so maybe that's it.
BUT you know how goldfish can only remember the last 3 seconds? Or maybe that's a myth, but that's the inspiration for the effect.
I feel like I'm always living in the present moment.. which is a blessing and a curse. This has influenced so many things in my life. I can remember what has happened in the past (sometimes) but I usually only remember things that are SPECIFICALLY brought up. If someone asks me to "remember a time when..." or to pick one object out of an infinite pool, it's VERY VERY hard for me. It can take me many minutes for even the simplest question. But I can still remember all pokemon weaknesses and resistances despite not playing the game in 15 years if I look at a list of the types?
One example: I was married to an abusive &I#U$@ for several years. But she was off and on. So on days when she wasn't abusing me, I would basically go on as if life was completely normal, and would even feel happy.
Another: A lot of times, if I'm eating a food, I'll think it's the "best I've ever had" of that kind of food. Yet I'm sure I've experienced that so many times.. and if you ask me right now to recall even a single favorite food I don't know what I would pick, none seem special at all..
I also don't seem to grieve lost partners or dead family. In my mind, it's rationalized away. For partners, it's that people often split up, but are never forever ruined. I can always find a new partner, and so can she. For dead people, I just imagine that they're "in a better place" although I don't believe in heaven, if you've thought about philosophy a lot I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.
So due to this rationalization, I'm not sure if that's the same effect or just a logical conclusion.
Does anyone else experience things like this? Yep, that got long LOL
I found this thread a few weeks ago and just finished reading the whole thing today. I relate to many of the struggles here in my own way. I am self-diagnosed aspergers. I have suspected it for over 10 years but recent events have really made me self reflect and bring things to light.
Have some random things to say, in no particular order.
It was no surprise to me ddave that you were INTJ, I am INTJ as well. Actually I think most aspies may be. When I first saw your posts about mods for the silver surfer, I knew there was something different about you
Most people don't seem to have the same need for detail that some of us do. It's hard to explain to others, but I have a very deep thirst for knowledge. I simply can't help it. I will go on very long information binges, ignoring food, water, sleep, and even vape in search of knowledge
That song "Something is wrong with me" by Twiztid, WOW!! That song made me cry every single time I listened to it so far. And most people would say they have never seen me cry. Seems most people with aspergers grow up with very painful childhoods. Or perhaps ptsd and similar conditions exacerbate our symptoms or make it harder to be functional.
I got inspired to try microdosing today, I'm intrigued by trying lower vape temps and microdosing. But I find it very hard to control my usage sometimes, especially when I'm having a bad day/week/month. I'm trying it out today so far and actually I have liked the results a lot so far. Very clear headed.
I could talk all day about my problems and whatnot, I'll save that for another post
but in short, I also have lots of symptoms of depression, anhedonia, fatigue, ADHD comorbid with my aspergers.One weird thing about me is that I'm a master communicator. People seem to like me almost instantly, and people generally tend to get a good impression of me. The only exception is, in the past, I could be a bit of an asshole if someone was being ignorant. Meaning, I tended to point out peoples' faults a lot, and also correct them when they're wrong. In a way that wasn't sensitive enough
But I feel like it's all a logical understanding of social norms to me.. everything in my world is in a logic box. My last job was a computer programmer before I quit (long story).
Anyways, if I had one thing to add to this discussion that hasn't been discussed so far.. it would be what I call the "goldfish effect".
I'm not sure if it's related to aspergers, or ptsd, or something else. I had a head injury that required stitches as a baby, and again as a teen, so maybe that's it.
BUT you know how goldfish can only remember the last 3 seconds? Or maybe that's a myth, but that's the inspiration for the effect.
I feel like I'm always living in the present moment.. which is a blessing and a curse. This has influenced so many things in my life. I can remember what has happened in the past (sometimes) but I usually only remember things that are SPECIFICALLY brought up. If someone asks me to "remember a time when..." or to pick one object out of an infinite pool, it's VERY VERY hard for me. It can take me many minutes for even the simplest question. But I can still remember all pokemon weaknesses and resistances despite not playing the game in 15 years if I look at a list of the types?
One example: I was married to an abusive &I#U$@ for several years. But she was off and on. So on days when she wasn't abusing me, I would basically go on as if life was completely normal, and would even feel happy.
Another: A lot of times, if I'm eating a food, I'll think it's the "best I've ever had" of that kind of food. Yet I'm sure I've experienced that so many times.. and if you ask me right now to recall even a single favorite food I don't know what I would pick, none seem special at all..
I also don't seem to grieve lost partners or dead family. In my mind, it's rationalized away. For partners, it's that people often split up, but are never forever ruined. I can always find a new partner, and so can she. For dead people, I just imagine that they're "in a better place" although I don't believe in heaven, if you've thought about philosophy a lot I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.
So due to this rationalization, I'm not sure if that's the same effect or just a logical conclusion.
Does anyone else experience things like this? Yep, that got long LOL
Hey @acolyte
(Below, anything in quotes is from your post. Using the regular quoting function will make my post look like a mosaic! haha)
"This might get long"
I think most aspies are very verbose. Especially if on a topic of interest to the speaker.
"Have some random things to say, in no particular order."
We definitely share this skill!
"I knew there was something different about you"
To put it lightly!
"Most people don't seem to have the same need for detail that some of us do. It's hard to explain to others, but I have a very deep thirst for knowledge. I simply can't help it. I will go on very long information binges, ignoring food, water, sleep, and even vape in search of knowledge"
I assume this behavior is only experienced when it is a topic that interests you?
And the exact opposite occurs if presented with a topic you find of no interest or of little value?
"Seems most people with aspergers grow up with very painful childhoods." & "That song "Something is wrong with me" by Twiztid, WOW!!"
I switched the order of statements there to reflect that yes, it was childhood that was difficult. There are some songs that are reflective of certain feelings back then, absolutely.
Here's to those misunderstood, who can never really themselves understand....
"I got inspired to try microdosing today, I'm intrigued by trying lower vape temps and microdosing. But I find it very hard to control my usage sometimes, especially when I'm having a bad day/week/month. I'm trying it out today so far and actually I have liked the results a lot so far. Very clear headed."
Secret to MicroDosing. Target the effect. Not the dose or session, just the effect you seek.
When I microdose a .005g during the day, definitely not looking to be blazed. I want to lightly feel the effects of a particular strain. Like taking the edge off things a bit.
When you get used to expecting certain levels of effects, it becomes very easy to control dosing. You know just about the dose you need to vape by whatever parameters to receive certain target effects and repeating it becomes 2nd nature. Reaching the target is very satisfying when you know you control it.
"Meaning, I tended to point out peoples' faults a lot, and also correct them when they're wrong. In a way that wasn't sensitive enough"
Don't take this oddly, but did you realize these others had feelings that would be hurt by these corrections? Or did you target the error, fix it, in the most efficient manner possible?
I'm asking because for a long time, I had no idea anyone had "wants" that didn't match my own. Very difficult to explain, but logically I always deduced whatever way I saw something working best would be the same conclusion that others came up with, regardless of the length of time it took or number of different variables they considered.
It wasn't that I was right so I was right mentality. It was more logically this would work best so it's right.
"everything in my world is in a logic box."
My response in the previous section belongs here too. Logic driven for me is an understatement.
"I feel like I'm always living in the present moment.. which is a blessing and a curse. This has influenced so many things in my life."
Sorry for all caps, but THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE GREATEST OF ASPIE CURSES AND I AM CURSED MYSELF! It does ease some difficult times, like the loss of someone, but overall I find it negative.
Another curse, The Next Time. I always feel there will be a next time to do something that was missed.
"One example: I was married to an abusive &I#U$@ for several years. But she was off and on. So on days when she wasn't abusing me, I would basically go on as if life was completely normal, and would even feel happy."
(Not regarding the wife part, just the good day parts.) Same here regarding the one good day that makes it all seem ok. Kind of like that day erased any previous bad event and could prevent any from occurring.
"I also don't seem to grieve lost partners or dead family. In my mind, it's rationalized away."
We do seem to think a lot alike friend. I mentioned being an aspie seems to nullify the bad feelings when someone has passed away before I read this part of your post.
(To everyone else, please don't take that as if we celebrate anyone's passing. Simply, it does not affect us.)
I'll circle back on this, as I'm sure there's more to say. Always more to say...
But for now, the similarities between us are definitely there.
(Below, anything in quotes is from your post. Using the regular quoting function will make my post look like a mosaic! haha)
"This might get long"
I think most aspies are very verbose. Especially if on a topic of interest to the speaker.
"Have some random things to say, in no particular order."
We definitely share this skill!
"I knew there was something different about you
"To put it lightly!
"Most people don't seem to have the same need for detail that some of us do. It's hard to explain to others, but I have a very deep thirst for knowledge. I simply can't help it. I will go on very long information binges, ignoring food, water, sleep, and even vape in search of knowledge
"I assume this behavior is only experienced when it is a topic that interests you?
And the exact opposite occurs if presented with a topic you find of no interest or of little value?
"Seems most people with aspergers grow up with very painful childhoods." & "That song "Something is wrong with me" by Twiztid, WOW!!"
I switched the order of statements there to reflect that yes, it was childhood that was difficult. There are some songs that are reflective of certain feelings back then, absolutely.
Here's to those misunderstood, who can never really themselves understand....
"I got inspired to try microdosing today, I'm intrigued by trying lower vape temps and microdosing. But I find it very hard to control my usage sometimes, especially when I'm having a bad day/week/month. I'm trying it out today so far and actually I have liked the results a lot so far. Very clear headed."
Secret to MicroDosing. Target the effect. Not the dose or session, just the effect you seek.
When I microdose a .005g during the day, definitely not looking to be blazed. I want to lightly feel the effects of a particular strain. Like taking the edge off things a bit.
When you get used to expecting certain levels of effects, it becomes very easy to control dosing. You know just about the dose you need to vape by whatever parameters to receive certain target effects and repeating it becomes 2nd nature. Reaching the target is very satisfying when you know you control it.
"Meaning, I tended to point out peoples' faults a lot, and also correct them when they're wrong. In a way that wasn't sensitive enough
"Don't take this oddly, but did you realize these others had feelings that would be hurt by these corrections? Or did you target the error, fix it, in the most efficient manner possible?
I'm asking because for a long time, I had no idea anyone had "wants" that didn't match my own. Very difficult to explain, but logically I always deduced whatever way I saw something working best would be the same conclusion that others came up with, regardless of the length of time it took or number of different variables they considered.
It wasn't that I was right so I was right mentality. It was more logically this would work best so it's right.
"everything in my world is in a logic box."
My response in the previous section belongs here too. Logic driven for me is an understatement.
"I feel like I'm always living in the present moment.. which is a blessing and a curse. This has influenced so many things in my life."
Sorry for all caps, but THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE GREATEST OF ASPIE CURSES AND I AM CURSED MYSELF! It does ease some difficult times, like the loss of someone, but overall I find it negative.
Another curse, The Next Time. I always feel there will be a next time to do something that was missed.
"One example: I was married to an abusive &I#U$@ for several years. But she was off and on. So on days when she wasn't abusing me, I would basically go on as if life was completely normal, and would even feel happy."
(Not regarding the wife part, just the good day parts.) Same here regarding the one good day that makes it all seem ok. Kind of like that day erased any previous bad event and could prevent any from occurring.
"I also don't seem to grieve lost partners or dead family. In my mind, it's rationalized away."
We do seem to think a lot alike friend. I mentioned being an aspie seems to nullify the bad feelings when someone has passed away before I read this part of your post.
(To everyone else, please don't take that as if we celebrate anyone's passing. Simply, it does not affect us.)
I'll circle back on this, as I'm sure there's more to say. Always more to say...
But for now, the similarities between us are definitely there.Regarding focus - yes, if the topic doesn't interest me, OR if I have to respond to it in a way that will require actual thinking and energy, I will avoid it a lot. I skimmed your post 3x last night and today since I knew it would require some thinking haha
Regarding others' feelings.. I'm not really sure.. I've always been a very kind and sensitive person to other's peoples' needs, probably due to my upbringing.
I knew that others "had" feelings I guess.. when it happened, I just meant to point it out in a good-natured way. I hate being wrong or misunderstanding something, so I guess I assumed they would want to be corrected. But then they would take it the wrong way. I didn't really think it through at all, I can be very impulsive with "blurting out answers" and whatnot.
Actually, I mentioned people like me a lot at first. This is hit and miss, and I think it depends on whether or not they "mess up" early on in our interactions. And if I criticized them for it. A lot of my current very good friends thought I was really weird and didn't like me when they first met me.
But now I think I've adjusted better. I realize that people don't care if they're wrong sometimes, I now generally only correct my best friends and my serious girlfriend. Since they're the ones I really care about, and want to have accurate brains for my further picking haha
Regarding others' feelings.. I'm not really sure.. I've always been a very kind and sensitive person to other's peoples' needs, probably due to my upbringing.
I knew that others "had" feelings I guess.. when it happened, I just meant to point it out in a good-natured way. I hate being wrong or misunderstanding something, so I guess I assumed they would want to be corrected. But then they would take it the wrong way. I didn't really think it through at all, I can be very impulsive with "blurting out answers" and whatnot.
Actually, I mentioned people like me a lot at first. This is hit and miss, and I think it depends on whether or not they "mess up" early on in our interactions. And if I criticized them for it. A lot of my current very good friends thought I was really weird and didn't like me when they first met me.
But now I think I've adjusted better. I realize that people don't care if they're wrong sometimes, I now generally only correct my best friends and my serious girlfriend. Since they're the ones I really care about, and want to have accurate brains for my further picking haha
Just ordered one of those fidget cube things from ebay, though I had to find a new vendor. I've found that different ticks/stims can sometimes relieve anxiety for me. A few that seem to work for me:
- Rubbing my thumb and forefinger together with force
- Hand movements through air, like a conductor, or tapping a drumstick, things like that
- Rocking my body and head back and forth as if to the beat of music, I'm not sure what normal "autistic rocking" is or how it differs from this
- Tapping feet
- Placing hand on stomach and applying light pressure/massage
- Screaming super loud
- Folding arms as if I'm mad, applying pressure to chest
- Playing with my hair, scratching scalp, or grabbing a bunch of hair near the roots and pulling lightly
- Putting my hand up to my mouth as if I'm thinking and biting my finger.
I'm just starting to get in touch with this kind of thing. But at times when I do a stim like that, I will feel a flood of relaxation and euphoria drip over me temporarily. Really crazy shit. Not sure why exactly, if I'm just overwhelmed in my environment or what, I've read lots of theories but not sure how it fits me exactly.
Anyone have any favorites? Obvious or non-obvious
This video is awesome, perhaps I saw it in this thread and am now forgetting:
- Rubbing my thumb and forefinger together with force
- Hand movements through air, like a conductor, or tapping a drumstick, things like that
- Rocking my body and head back and forth as if to the beat of music, I'm not sure what normal "autistic rocking" is or how it differs from this
- Tapping feet
- Placing hand on stomach and applying light pressure/massage
- Screaming super loud
- Folding arms as if I'm mad, applying pressure to chest
- Playing with my hair, scratching scalp, or grabbing a bunch of hair near the roots and pulling lightly
- Putting my hand up to my mouth as if I'm thinking and biting my finger.
I'm just starting to get in touch with this kind of thing. But at times when I do a stim like that, I will feel a flood of relaxation and euphoria drip over me temporarily. Really crazy shit. Not sure why exactly, if I'm just overwhelmed in my environment or what, I've read lots of theories but not sure how it fits me exactly.
Anyone have any favorites? Obvious or non-obvious
This video is awesome, perhaps I saw it in this thread and am now forgetting:
Okay I know this is yet a third post, but since this is the asperger's thread I think you all will understand
I found this really cool performance test today from another asperger's resource https://www.humanbenchmark.com
Maybe it will help you identify some kind of strength or weakness. I seemed to do best on the number and verbal memory, but honestly, I thought I was doing extremely good on the visual memory. Yet didn't get that high of a score.
I found this really cool performance test today from another asperger's resource https://www.humanbenchmark.com
Maybe it will help you identify some kind of strength or weakness. I seemed to do best on the number and verbal memory, but honestly, I thought I was doing extremely good on the visual memory. Yet didn't get that high of a score.
No problem friend, when I experience that, I have two strategies:
- Write it in a separate text document, and spend up to 2 hours refining my thoughts and editing, re-arranging
- Just free write and not care that it's disorganized as long as I don't repeat too many things
Sometimes I have too many thoughts that cannot be expressed in just a few sentences.. nevertheless, the I still sometimes try to squish all of the information into a very small space.
Cheers!
- Write it in a separate text document, and spend up to 2 hours refining my thoughts and editing, re-arranging
- Just free write and not care that it's disorganized as long as I don't repeat too many things
Sometimes I have too many thoughts that cannot be expressed in just a few sentences.. nevertheless, the I still sometimes try to squish all of the information into a very small space.
Cheers!
Crazy thing is I don't have this problem, even with intricate topic, when communicating with "normal" people. But people that are any type of outlier that I "click" with? On a topic that people like that communicate mo' betterer than normals? Then subtle little nuances hang me up, lol.
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees ‘cause I ...
I want honey on my table
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees ‘cause I ...
I want honey on my table
But I never get it right
no I never get it right
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I’ll rip and smash through the hornet’s nest
Don’t they understand I deserve the best
And I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I tried to stick this pin through a butterfly ‘cause I ...
I like all the pretty colors
But it just fell apart so I flung it in the fire
to burn with all the others
Cause I never get it right
No, I never get it right
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I’ll rip and smash through the hornet’s nest
Don’t they understand I deserve the best
And I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
And this time I’ll get it right
yeah this time I’ll get it right
It’s gonna be this time I’ll get it right
Oh God let it be this time I get it right
So I’m cutting that branch off the cherry tree
I’m singing this will be my victory then I...
I see them coming after me
And they’re following me across the sea
And now they’re stinging my friends and my family and I...
I don’t know why this is happening
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees ‘cause I ...
I want honey on my table
I want honey on my table
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees ‘cause I ...
I want honey on my table
But I never get it right
no I never get it right
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I’ll rip and smash through the hornet’s nest
Don’t they understand I deserve the best
And I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I tried to stick this pin through a butterfly ‘cause I ...
I like all the pretty colors
But it just fell apart so I flung it in the fire
to burn with all the others
Cause I never get it right
No, I never get it right
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I’ll rip and smash through the hornet’s nest
Don’t they understand I deserve the best
And I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
And this time I’ll get it right
yeah this time I’ll get it right
It’s gonna be this time I’ll get it right
Oh God let it be this time I get it right
So I’m cutting that branch off the cherry tree
I’m singing this will be my victory then I...
I see them coming after me
And they’re following me across the sea
And now they’re stinging my friends and my family and I...
I don’t know why this is happening
But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please
I’ll do it again till I got what I need
I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees ‘cause I ...
I want honey on my table
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
Do you guy's overthink? I overthink a lot. IDK if this is because of Asperger's or what, but I overanalyze and overthink a bit..Trying to curb, any advice would be appreciated
I play back scenarios and lament things I coulda woulda shoulda done...or second guess things I did do.... I think about things coming up, I get nervous and anxious....though whatever event I am nervous/anxious about, I am rarely nervous/anxious during it (interviews, dates, get togethers, etc)
I saw a quote that was "To live with depression is living in the past, to live with anxiety is living the future, to live in peace is living in the present" which has helped a bit....but still trying to curb these things.
I fancy some chick and it's been a big headcase. I know she fancies me, to some degree, at least based on our talks. Her actions though, don't seem like it (we rarely hang out) Yet, when we hang out, her actions seem like it (flirty/touchy/kissing/etc). If I overthink how hard it is to actually set up a date and see her, I come to conclusion she isn't into me. If I overthink about our dates, I come to conclusion she is really into me... very hard on my psyche. Been trying to just do me and focus on self improvement (gym/work/learning coding/socializing), because when my candle is burnt I find I don't tend to overthink. But until I burn that stress, I tend to overthink periodically throughout day about any number of things. (Albeit it has been worse since I've pursued this chick)
I play back scenarios and lament things I coulda woulda shoulda done...or second guess things I did do.... I think about things coming up, I get nervous and anxious....though whatever event I am nervous/anxious about, I am rarely nervous/anxious during it (interviews, dates, get togethers, etc)
I saw a quote that was "To live with depression is living in the past, to live with anxiety is living the future, to live in peace is living in the present" which has helped a bit....but still trying to curb these things.
I fancy some chick and it's been a big headcase. I know she fancies me, to some degree, at least based on our talks. Her actions though, don't seem like it (we rarely hang out) Yet, when we hang out, her actions seem like it (flirty/touchy/kissing/etc). If I overthink how hard it is to actually set up a date and see her, I come to conclusion she isn't into me. If I overthink about our dates, I come to conclusion she is really into me... very hard on my psyche. Been trying to just do me and focus on self improvement (gym/work/learning coding/socializing), because when my candle is burnt I find I don't tend to overthink. But until I burn that stress, I tend to overthink periodically throughout day about any number of things. (Albeit it has been worse since I've pursued this chick)
Overthink. Overanalyze, OverDo..... man, "Over" is my middle name!Do you guy's overthink? I overthink a lot. IDK if this is because of Asperger's or what, but I overanalyze and overthink a bit..Trying to curb, any advice would be appreciated
I play back scenarios and lament things I coulda woulda shoulda done...or second guess things I did do.... I think about things coming up, I get nervous and anxious....though whatever event I am nervous/anxious about, I am rarely nervous/anxious during it (interviews, dates, get togethers, etc)
Not joking when I say that when I'm in process of designing a new mod, I can't sleep! The endless variations that stream through my mind. And if there is a bit of reprieve to the stream, this sparks new avenues of investigation or diff mods for later thought, and ends up streaming again. (YouTube streaming volume has nothing on DDave Thought Streaming).
Do I wish I could turn it off, yes! Can I quiet it.... Only with MMJ.
Regarding said "chick", have advice on proceeding in a few ways.... all "iffy" though...
IF you are not worried about negative consequences, ask her out. Worst that can happen is she declines and terminates relations.
IF you are concerned about termination of the level of your current friendship, baby steps in progression towards a more-serious relationship.
IF you are plagued by overthinking probabilities, switch to some healthy fantasizing. This will alter your focus and may open new avenues of thoughts on how to more seriously approach her.
Gotta run... maybe circle back later to elaborate a bit....
Good luck in these!
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
Mj helps my overthinking too, calms me down.
I have asked her out, I'm batting like 3/7 on dates tho lol, always seems like some sort of excuse...like if you were really interested should make more time eh?
Yet she gets back to me to cancel, not like she stands me up. She agrees to dates, sometimes. The dates we have went on have all been great. She texts warmly and all that jazz. I got physical (she reciprocated) and she knows where I stand because of it. I don't feel I'm at any risk of "friend zone"
And it's not like I got three dates and then she blew me off. Had good first date, get canceled, get cancelled, good 2nd date, cancelled, cancelled, good third date, canceled, etc.
Idk I try not to overthink, maybe just has a lot on her plate. Which is true, I know this.....but I overthink just how much she does have on plays and how much of it is soft rejection if any of it is at all.
And overthinking these things isn't healthy lol
I have asked her out, I'm batting like 3/7 on dates tho lol, always seems like some sort of excuse...like if you were really interested should make more time eh?
Yet she gets back to me to cancel, not like she stands me up. She agrees to dates, sometimes. The dates we have went on have all been great. She texts warmly and all that jazz. I got physical (she reciprocated) and she knows where I stand because of it. I don't feel I'm at any risk of "friend zone"
And it's not like I got three dates and then she blew me off. Had good first date, get canceled, get cancelled, good 2nd date, cancelled, cancelled, good third date, canceled, etc.
Idk I try not to overthink, maybe just has a lot on her plate. Which is true, I know this.....but I overthink just how much she does have on plays and how much of it is soft rejection if any of it is at all.
And overthinking these things isn't healthy lol
I'm seeing a pattern here.... if this follows, then here's the plan...
1) Ask for a date (expecting a decline) on a day that you don't really care about. Don't make solid plans ahead of time, but do have soft plans just in case.
2) Same strategy as #1.
3) Third time's the charm! Ask for the date, making all the pre-preparations needed (dinner reservations, show reservations, and hopefully motel reservations
)I can't comment, as don't know how well or how long you've known her.
With people, I find the "just do it" mentality works best...
Vacation plans, these can be moderately overthought.
For modding, overthinking is a way of life.
I think there's another thread for this?
From one Aspie to another, I think I may have just overthunk this!!!!
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
Lol funny enough I actually am in that trajectory right now. All things considered I should profit Saturday 
albeit we'll see.... I learned real quick to have soft plans scheduled for myself.
I overthink though too with regards of when to reattempt. If I'm persistent I overthink I am coming across as needy/clingy/etc. but if I space them out, my chances drop.
here's the kicker too, in terms of overthinking and fucking with my head. By all accounts with how flakey she is, not interested. You can have good dates and still not be interested, shit happens. 9/10 times I'd say this would be the case.
Her friend hooked me up with her.... I am not unique in how she acts, she is super flakey with every dude she's ever liked and is super flakey with her friends. Her taking hours to text back, same shit, that's across board. They say she's anxious and I can empathize with that..I been anxious....that I should keep at it slow and steady.
So I'm caught between Occams Razors. The simplest solution is usually correct? On one hand I have her distance and flakey which should mean, no Bueno, simple.
On other hand, I have her friend saying this is typical and it's no big thing, not to stress. Taking them at face value, which I would cause she's my friend too, she's into it just anxious with dating. Simple.
which razor.....
albeit we'll see.... I learned real quick to have soft plans scheduled for myself. I overthink though too with regards of when to reattempt. If I'm persistent I overthink I am coming across as needy/clingy/etc. but if I space them out, my chances drop.
here's the kicker too, in terms of overthinking and fucking with my head. By all accounts with how flakey she is, not interested. You can have good dates and still not be interested, shit happens. 9/10 times I'd say this would be the case.
Her friend hooked me up with her.... I am not unique in how she acts, she is super flakey with every dude she's ever liked and is super flakey with her friends. Her taking hours to text back, same shit, that's across board. They say she's anxious and I can empathize with that..I been anxious....that I should keep at it slow and steady.
So I'm caught between Occams Razors. The simplest solution is usually correct? On one hand I have her distance and flakey which should mean, no Bueno, simple.
On other hand, I have her friend saying this is typical and it's no big thing, not to stress. Taking them at face value, which I would cause she's my friend too, she's into it just anxious with dating. Simple.
which razor.....
In this case, absolutely! (Getting to that in a minute).
The one that gets you to the next quote in the quickest timeframe with the least possible brain-stress!which razor.....
Oh Yeah!
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
Lol I always get perspective from my Bros that I over think. But that work day slump boredom gets my mind every time! In general I feel good about it. Guess that's the razor I should pick
@Krazy lol, this chick is a bit of a prude half the fun is the chase on that end....the general chase tho is very tiresome on my head lol
@Krazy lol, this chick is a bit of a prude half the fun is the chase on that end....the general chase tho is very tiresome on my head lol
Fraternity Vacation, one great movie!
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
An update, Saturday fell through she was busy, and then Sunday fell through for me when I was busy/out, but I was stressing about nothing basically just pangs of overthinking and second guessing, let them get the best of me last week in this thread, but hey knowledge of self is half the battle
just pangs of overthinking and second guessing, let them get the best of me last week in this thread, but hey knowledge of self is half the battle