Ode to the Wychwood Hallowe'en Contest (2012)
Ghosts and goblins, come on out!
Dance and sing and cavort about.
Make yourself a carving plan,
Carve that pumpkin best you can,
And hope the Wychwood lass approves
Of your methods, digs your grooves!
If she thinks your style's the best,
She'll lift your gourd above the rest
And bestow on you an awesome prize:
A lovely way to vaporize!
With amazing entries in already,
And more to come, sure and steady,
I know the contest will be heady
By the time my poem's ready...
Will a
watermelon be the winner?
Or oklahomie's munchie dinner?
The butternut of eerie beauty?
Or skyline's clever spooky-cutie?
If she wants it super scary,
Might she fall for three-eyed Larry?
Is she a fan of Spiderman?
Of what t-dub did with his hands?
Or of some other worthy guy?
She might even like my silly try.
I don't know how she'll ever choose,
Yet I hope I'll hear exciting news:
That though their pumpkins bring her glee…
What she
really loves is poetry!
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Who said of combustion, "Eh, fuck it!"
It was vapor he sought,
So a Wychwood he bought--
With a stem made of clear borosilicate!
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There once was a man from the Shire
who made Wychwood a name to admire
Wooden vapes made by Tokin
Great vapor--no jokin'!
Oh-ho! How I preach to the choir!
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Thanks for the fun contest, JRR! Good luck everyone and Happy Hallowe'en!