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It feels just like the depths of irony to be writing my masters' dissertation these days, trying to smear consumerism as the ultimate weapon of this socio-economic stranglehold and yet sitting down to tap out my first ever product review (must have read thousands over the years). I'm not joking, this is the first time I ever consider it worthy to share what I think about something I bought off the internet.
For a seasoned, often guilty consumer of varied online goodies, experienced and obsessive late night forum-trawler, to be sitting down to write his first review is quite a step in an uncertain direction, believe me.
Enough fanfare, let me get to the point.
I bought a walnut Vapman mica, received it a few days ago, this is my second vape (about 9 years after a short and futile attempt at vaping satisfaction via a primitive D-shaped vapir contraption, promtply stowed away and forgotten). Must say in all honesty now, this Vapman thing is changing my life.
I was lucky enough to get some particularly tasty citrussy-crisp-indian-subcontinent botanical from my local, quasi-legal Catalan bartender-florist (Barcelona = new Amsterdam in terms of quasi-legal aromatic culinary herb culture), the very day this lil' piece of wood arrived, my man was behind the bar smiling as ever. Got home, fired up conservatively following instructions, the taste is unbelievably delicious. Spent hours in heaven wondering why on earth this sort of thing hasn't been everyday fare amongst us happy botanically-minded folks since jazzy decades ago. It marvels me to think that we've probably spent entire millenia looking after and enjoying these plants and I am one of the first to enjoy this sort of pleasure with such little hassle, such minimal harm to my body or anyone else. Thanks, fate.
Just a note to point out that to me the very idea of inhaling lovely locally-grown herbs through something that looks like an ipod, pulsating LED lights etc just seems somehow wrong. I medicate to escape the very world of cables and microprocessor-rich gadgets that I necessarily have to deal with every day of my life.
This little thing is just an intriguingly simple, familiar, earthy, sweet-smelling piece of wood and metal to be picked up, fired up, held warm between your fingers, when you are feeling at your most connected to whatever mother spirit you happen to adhere to at the time. I have just loaded it up with a richly fragrant mix of flowers and solid medicinal blends, have heated it gently, taken one slow breath and ascended to blissful verbosity with the pleasant confidence, as I can tell from the taste and colour, that there are many, many similarly devastating draws to be had from that one tiny, lightly loaded, golden bowl. You can cover the holes if you are so inclined, hits will be heavier, but frankly, why hurry? Enjoy the taste and fly on.
Needless to say, apart from the beauty, efficiency and sheer mystique of the Vapman, one celebrates the idea of NEVER AGAIN having to suck hot, toxic smoke into one's lungs any more. Goodbye to 14 years of primitive, smoky stone, hello to clear-eyed, clear-minded future!
So better leave you here, thanks for reading my perhaps unnecessarily happy rant :-)
F
PS: mine came with the 'vapman' burnt-on lettering somewhat incomplete, only the v, p, and n letters are clearly visible. Seems to just add to its personality. Plus I hate trademarks, even coming from a cool Swiss guy like this!
Pleased to meet you all!