She does not like me getting high

Elemen0py

Well-Known Member
Mr.Sifter, congratulations! Why? Today, my friend, is the first day of the rest of your life.

I'll make you a deal. If you're willing to take a leap of faith with me, to grit your teeth, get your head down and fight for just a few weeks, you're going to build up so much momentum that the rest will be easy. It'll be tough at first, but while you may start off feeling like you're pushing a tiny marble uphill through snow in a blizzard, in no time at all you'll be over that hill and when you get rolling you'll gain so much size and momentum that you'll be an unstoppable force. You with me? Let's fucking DO THIS!

First thing's first. Your girl? She doesn't matter. Of course she matters to you and how you feel, but her opinion of you is not going to be influenced by simply doing what she says. As much as it may feel like obeying her desires is what will draw her to you, it just doesn't work like that and we both know it. She sounds like a catch and that's great; you can use your desire to earn her affection as motivation to better yourself, but this isn't about her, this is about YOU. You're going to do some things that will make you a better, stronger person, and that is what will draw her to you.

We need to make a few changes and for that it's going to take guts. The road ahead is long and the start is the hardest part. I know what you're thinking; "I don't have the motivation for this". Let me share a secret with you: FUCK MOTIVATION. Motivation is fleeting, it's temperamental, it's impermanent, and it's never there when you need it when you suffer with depression and anxiety. You're going to have something MUCH more effective; you're going to have discipline. Discipline is what's going to get you out of bed at freezing o'clock in the morning to go for your run. Discipline is what's going to give you the strength to lift weights while motivation is somewhere on the couch. Discipline is what's going to make you the man you want to be. You know where and who you want to be, so you're going to MAKE THAT YOUR GOAL and you're going to use discipline to get there.

You need to sort your medication out. Anti-depressants are essential in treating severe clinical depression, but they won't make you better. Think of them as something that will elevate you to a point where you can make yourself better. Finding the right combination of medications can be difficult, so until you get there it may be a good idea to take a break from weed. Unless you're consistently smoking the same amount of the same strain it is going to cause fluctuations that you want to eliminate right now. If you feel that Lexapro (escitalopram) is right for you and that you're at a point where you can commit to your goals, then great, otherwise it might be time to talk to the doc about either increasing the dose or changing meds. I would recommend making inquiries about Brintellix (vortioxetine). It's relatively new, it's probably the most clear headed anti-depressant that I've tried in 20 years, and it's fucking amazing. If you do need to transition between meds it's going to be that little bit rougher, but that's ok because you have a goal and you're disciplined enough that you don't give a fuck- you're going to do this no matter how tough it gets.

Exercise is absolutely 100% unquestionably essential. There is no debate. The reason for this is that you are going to need the daily endorphins and dopamine. On top of this, the extra energy that you will have is going to make everything else easier. Sure, you'll look better, too, but that's just an added bonus. Remember, you're not doing this for her; you're doing it for you. You're going to get up every morning and you're going to eat an apple. This is your natural caffeine-like hit, and it's going to give you enough energy for your run. Then you're going to stretch, and you're going to run. Hard. You're going to push it to your limit every day and that limit is going to be greater and greater. You're going to start at an easy jog to warm up for five minutes and then you're going to push it hard for as long as you can. When you absolutely HAVE to ease up, jog as hard as you can the rest of the way, but don't stop. Eventually, you're going to run hard, real god damn fucking hard for at least 40 minutes every day. On top of this, you're going to lift weights six days a week. Split your muscle groups into three. Shoulders and arms Monday and Thursday. Chest and back Tuesday and Friday. Legs and abs Wednesday and Saturday. You can change up the specific exercises from time to time for best results, but make sure you don't miss anything in those groups. Here's your list:

Monday and Thursday- biceps, triceps, shoulders side, shoulders front.
Tuesday and Friday- chest high, chest low, lat pull down, chin ups, lower back.
Wednesday and Saturday- squats, hamstring curls, calf raises, abs, obliques.

For each individual exercise you're going to stretch thoroughly, then start at a weight at which you can do 12 reps. Wait 60 seconds, then increase the weight and do 10 reps. Wait 60, increase weight, 8 reps. Wait 60, increase to the highest weight at which you can do 6 reps, then do it until your muscles fail. Any time you can increase the weight and still make 6 reps, do it. You will make more progress on a lower weight with correct form than you will on a higher weight if you have to "swing" the weights to get momentum or to shift your body in some way. Sunday, you're going to let your muscles heal.

Whether or not you're in shape right now, you need to be running for at least a couple of months. Again, the dopamine and endorphins are ESSENTIAL right now. If you have no fat left to lose in a couple of months when you're feeling great, you can cut down on the running and go hard on the weights to bulk up much faster. Diet is also very important. You want to start the day with good, unprocessed grains (muesli is good, cereal not so much), fruit and protein. ALWAYS protein. Same goes for lunch, but go hard on veg- especially dark, leafy greens. For dinner, keep the carbs to a minimum and pile on the protein and veg. What you eat has a dramatic effect on mental health too, so remember your ATMS- almonds, tofu, meat, seafood. These are what is going to give your brain the fuel that it needs for serotonin. I'd be lying if I said I ate tofu though. Fuck that shit. Just remember, it's all about the protein so get as much lean chicken, meat, and ABSOLUTELY as much fish as you can. Seriously, you need to start eating a fucking retarded amount of fish because it will do you no end of good.

Ok, so we've got our meds and exercise sorted; that covers mind and body, so we're left with soul. You need passion. Passion is what is going to complete you and elevate you to a point where you won't even need your girl to be happy and fulfilled. Ironically enough, it's what will make her want you too (again, this is not your goal- it's just the cherry on top). We need to find a passion and implement it in a way that it can be your career path so that you can be driven by your heart and believe in what you are doing. You need to be able to support yourself and have the income to do the things that will make you happy, but you need to be proud of what you're doing. I don't know where you're at and I can't make too many suggestions here, but you have to start somewhere. Anywhere. Find something that won't bring you down, something that you can find enjoyment in and start using that income to follow your goals. That doesn't have to be owning your own multinational corporation- it could be a simple desk job, a store job, retail, the food industry- anything that gives you enjoyment and gives you the money that you need to get what you need and do what you want. If you can study on the side then that's great. Courses online are a dime a dozen and cheap as fuck these days. Either way, you need to find something that you're going to really enjoy sinking your teeth into.

Get all that? No you fucking didn't. Read it again. Slower. Then read it again if you have to. Read it until you realize that these aren't just words on a fucking forum. This is holy grail, motherfucker. This is what you've been waiting for. This is the path to everything you want. Time to get your game face on. Nah, fuck that. I want war face. Do what you gotta do. Beat your fucking chest. Punch a fucking mirror. This movie is Saving Private Sifter and you just landed on the beach. Your move. You gonna charge in like a god damn hero, or you gonna let it all drift away, even her.

You do this, and one day she's gonna say she's proud of you. You're going to turn to her and tell her that she made you want to be a better person. She doesn't need to know you did it for yourself.

Game time.
 

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
I will google that medication you named me.
Unfortunately i have to look for a new psychiatrist. My old one is gone. One day to the other. Very strange.

The running, i cant do it.
I mean for real. My hip is damaged. Knees and back aswell. Hip impingement uts called. Bad thing. I need surgery and i dont want it because there is a 6month recovery phase afterwards where i can not walk.
I can hit hit the gym though.
But still i am not in a bidy that can take hardcore training. I have to happy i am still able to walk relatelvy painfree.

My biggest problem is my social anxiety. I feel like i am infirior to most guys and i see that in the eyes of the people i am talking too.

But thanks for your motivational speak.

I cant process the fruit acids in apples. They make my digestion go crazy burning red.

I do drink a lot of coffee and smoke like 15-20 cigs a day.


Oh, Vortioxetin has been taken off the market in the EU.
 
Mr.Sifter,

Elemen0py

Well-Known Member
I will google that medication you named me.
Unfortunately i have to look for a new psychiatrist. My old one is gone. One day to the other. Very strange.

The running, i cant do it.
I mean for real. My hip is damaged. Knees and back aswell. Hip impingement uts called. Bad thing. I need surgery and i dont want it because there is a 6month recovery phase afterwards where i can not walk.
I can hit hit the gym though.
But still i am not in a bidy that can take hardcore training. I have to happy i am still able to walk relatelvy painfree.

My biggest problem is my social anxiety. I feel like i am infirior to most guys and i see that in the eyes of the people i am talking too.

But thanks for your motivational speak.

I cant process the fruit acids in apples. They make my digestion go crazy burning red.

I do drink a lot of coffee and smoke like 15-20 cigs a day.


Oh, Vortioxetin has been taken off the market in the EU.
Get a new psych. Now. Like, as in... yesterday. You need to sort out your medication and you NEED to have someone you can talk through this with.

If you can't run, that's fine. I used to run 10k's a day when I could and that's what kept me sane. It's what kept a lid on my depression. Almost ten years ago I took a huge fall, managed to stick the landing but from that height my leg came down on my heel so hard that I crushed it. Completely. Parts of it were almost crushed into pieces the size of grains of sand. I had a steel plate and ten screws put in there to hold it together, and they'll be there for the rest of my life. In that first round of surgery, the surgeon forgot to remove one of the wires that they drill through to temporarily hold it together while they work and there was a piece of wire sticking out a couple of millimeters into the joint. Over the next two years, every time I moved my foot, it scraped away more of the joint. I had it removed eventually once it was found, but the damage was done. Now I walk on bone that is scraping on bone. I know pain. I have it every time I put pressure on my foot. I, too, need to have more surgery to reduce the pain; to fuse the bone together. That will restrict movement, though, so I'll wait until I'm old for that. So what do you do? You adapt.

You need to start swimming. You can go easy at first, but you need to reach a point where you're going as hard as your body will let you. You can still be fucked up but good and get a damn good workout by swimming at a moderate pace. It will do immensely good things for any joint conditions you have.

Fuck apples. Coffee and a banana is fine, but cut it down to two cups a day before each work out, and you WILL WORK OUT, you fucking hear me? You need to quit smoking, too. You're going to be taking on a lot in the next few weeks so maybe just cut down as much as you can, but you're getting nothing out of smoking but bad health. If you need to substitute it with vaping a good, motivational, clear headed sativa for a while then get a strain like green crack and do that.

No excuses, man. There's too much at stake. You can do everything that you need to do to get out of this rut and if you have to fight through pain to do it then fucking good, it just makes the victory that much sweeter. No more fucking around. This is the rest of your life. If you want to be bored and alone for it then make excuses. If you want to be the man that makes your girl look at you with respect and adoration then it's time to act. Psych yourself up this week. Find your nearest public pool this weekend. Go there Monday. You can do this. For fucks sake you WILL DO THIS.

Post a reply when you've booked an appointment to see your doctor to get a referral to a psychiatrist and have decided which pool you're going to start swimming in, or don't post at all. You're at a crossroads. You need to make a choice. Make me respect you, I fucking dare you.
 
Elemen0py,
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Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
WOW @Elemen0py

thats the aggressiveness I need.
Swimming, Yeah, I have tought of that.
I am a bit emberassed of my torso body.
Lots of acne scars and cosmetical warts. fuck genetics.
but otherwise my body can be a machine.
I see that when i am riding my old city biking chasing cars and tour de france wannabees.

and yes, I do need a new psychiatrist.
dont know where the old one went.
was gone from one day to the other and the girls in the office wont tell me where she went.
very strange. must be a personal thing.

so swimming and gym, smoking less cigs.
Ok, I can do that.

lets see....
 

Elemen0py

Well-Known Member
WOW @Elemen0py

thats the aggressiveness I need.
Swimming, Yeah, I have tought of that.
I am a bit emberassed of my torso body.
Lots of acne scars and cosmetical warts. fuck genetics.
but otherwise my body can be a machine.
I see that when i am riding my old city biking chasing cars and tour de france wannabees.

and yes, I do need a new psychiatrist.
dont know where the old one went.
was gone from one day to the other and the girls in the office wont tell me where she went.
very strange. must be a personal thing.

so swimming and gym, smoking less cigs.
Ok, I can do that.

lets see....
FUCKING YES! LETS DO THIS!

It's all downhill after that first step. You've decided to do this and that's half the battle. Now it's time to go hard on that discipline.

Let me just ask you one thing. Have you been to a public pool before? Did you sit there and look at everyone else and judge them for their pot bellies, baldness, or the sunspots on their wrinkled and aged skin? Or did you just barely notice that they were there and maybe even thought something along the lines of, "shit, that dude's pretty old and fat, good on him for going swimming."

Nobody is judging you but yourself, and that's why you're doing this. You're going to reach a point where you can be honest in that judgement and be happy with what you see.

This may not mean much on an internet forum, but god damn I'm proud as shit of you right now.
 
Elemen0py,

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
To be honest with you.... Yeah, i cant help but judge people.
Not necessarley in a bad way but in a honest way. What i think of them.
Cant help it.
These thoughts just pop into my mind.
Who are they? How do they do? Are they attractive? Better, stronger, faster, smarter than me?

Thanks man.
Really, thank you

But thats just talk right know.
My talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.
 
Mr.Sifter,
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Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
she visited me and had a migraine.
I suggested a few puffs from a small vapcap dosage and she agreed.
Shortly after this she went to sleep.
Next thing I know is that she claims it to be a sad situation when she could not move and I had a small vapcap as well.
she asked if i think it could be the cannabis why I am not making any progress in my life due a lack of motivation. She might be on to something. I will take a break.
speaking of breaks,... she broke up with me this morning because I do not care enough and haven't developed myself for the better in 2 years.

now, all is lost

sifter OUT ...... .
 
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Abysmal Vapor

The Yule Cat
@Mr.Sifter Hey,dude i am sorry that you have to go trough this but from what i see it is for the best. Please stop undervaluing yourself and think that you area any less than for example corporate bastards that make a lot of progress everyday earning billions on backs of the poor guys.Making progress without harming someone is really hard thing,and some good people prefer to take a pass on such opportunities
Cannabis never hurt no one ,except for the people that did it only to confirm their negative opinion on the subject. I have wasted too much of my life with people who are trying to change me or telling me they know better. I've seen where those people are now and i am telling you i am glad i am not on the same boat.
There is a saying in my country.
If you can fly - tell no one ,otherwise you wont be able to get rid of teachers.
Not everyone is a everyday earner ,there are people that make great things at a certain part in time and having a simple life until and after that moment. Give yourself a break and relax , try to reach out to the very inner self,the guy you were before someone started judging you for who you are on a daily basis and before you started trying to fit your personality in this clearly unfitting relationship.
While T-breaks are cool, dont forsake good old Mother Mary and Just Let It Be !
And in my hour of darkness
she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.


 
Last edited:

GreenHopper

20 going on 60
she visited me and had a migraine.
I suggested a few puffs from a small vapcap dosage and she agreed.
Shortly after this she went to sleep.
Next thing I know is that she claims it to be a sad situation when she could not move and I had a small vapcap as well.
she asked if i think it could be the cannabis why I am not making any progress in my life due a lack of motivation. She might be on to something. I will take a break.
speaking of breaks,... she broke up with me this morning because I do not care enough and haven't developed myself for the better in 2 years.

now, all is lost

sifter OUT ...... .

Hey bud, sorry to hear about your troubles. This is a message of support,

<insert sickeningly over supportive motivational meme here>

Chin up, march on, never give up.

GH Out (of original meme ideas)
 

gaseous_clay

Well-Known Member
she visited me and had a migraine.
I suggested a few puffs from a small vapcap dosage and she agreed.
Shortly after this she went to sleep.
Next thing I know is that she claims it to be a sad situation when she could not move and I had a small vapcap as well.
she asked if i think it could be the cannabis why I am not making any progress in my life due a lack of motivation. She might be on to something. I will take a break.
speaking of breaks,... she broke up with me this morning because I do not care enough and haven't developed myself for the better in 2 years.

now, all is lost

sifter OUT ...... .

I wish I had better advice, but I am not well versed in relationshits. I seem to have more experience being dumped than in actually trying to make them work.

That said, this is your opportunity to get things right. Try to get to a place where you can look her in the eye and thank her for your freedom. Let her know it wasn't the weed holding you back. It was her.

(Still, it would be nice to find a woman I find attractive who somehow finds me ok too who would like to do things like get high as a kite & go to a museum or something.)
 

arb

Semi shaved ape
Seems like your issues are with you........not external.
Life's a mean bitch and you play the cards you have the best you can,other than That enjoy the good and the bad equally as both are part of the experience.........you only get one shot don't spend it crying.
I suggest a shot of liquid concrete.
 

little maggie

Well-Known Member
I will google that medication you named me.
Unfortunately i have to look for a new psychiatrist. My old one is gone. One day to the other. Very strange.

The running, i cant do it.
I mean for real. My hip is damaged. Knees and back aswell. Hip impingement uts called. Bad thing. I need surgery and i dont want it because there is a 6month recovery phase afterwards where i can not walk.
I can hit hit the gym though.
But still i am not in a bidy that can take hardcore training. I have to happy i am still able to walk relatelvy painfree.

My biggest problem is my social anxiety. I feel like i am infirior to most guys and i see that in the eyes of the people i am talking too.

But thanks for your motivational speak.

I cant process the fruit acids in apples. They make my digestion go crazy burning red.

I do drink a lot of coffee and smoke like 15-20 cigs a day.


Oh, Vortioxetin has been taken off the market in the EU.
There are quite a few people here with suggestions. I'm adding more but there's really no indication you will follow any. First, antidepressants are very individual. Some people do well on one that others have horrible side effects from. It's trial and error to find one that will work for you and if you don't have side effects that require stopping it may take as long as 3 months to feel the effects. Meanwhile, given everything you've said you might try to find a good therapist instead of getting help here. And I said good therapist. There are a lot of ineffective ones out there. Hardcore exercise is not necessary but there is a lot of research that exercise helps anxiety. And whatever your physical limitations there is some form of exercise you can do. Again, find what fits you not what fits any of us. Enough said.
 

Mr. Whitewall

Well-Known Member
My biggest problem is my social anxiety. I feel like i am inferior to most guys and i see that in the eyes of the people i am talking too.

Well, have you heard of Stephen Hawking?
There was a vary famous case of man here a few years ago, was paralysed from neck down.
He became an artist, got married (yes, to an actual woman, he was a gentleman with an amazing personality very much like the French guy from that other famous movie).
He was one of the most brave and courageous people I have ever heard of, and he wasn't in any TV shows, got no awards, and certainly was no super model.
Just a simple man.

The most active people I know only regret not having done more, but JUST for the sheer FUN of it! Not to compare to others and feel miserable about it: to find a way to realise their personal aspirations instead, THEN they came to be respected and looked up to. Not because they did what others wanted or thought they should do or be or act.
Feeling miserable to no end never got anybody anywhere?
If you ask twenty people what to do, you will probably get twenty different answers, especially those who think they know you.
Although most answers here seem to follow the same trend... Probably for a good reason!

Personally I have come to rule problematic relationships by this maxim: "if you're not part of the solution, then you are very probably part of the problem".
And sometimes a dose of: "lead, follow or get out of the way" too.

Not that I really guide myself by maxims and quotes, life's not so black and white, but i find it is quite a lucid warning about how you can go down the wrong path with people AND that sometimes there's not much you can do about it, sadly. But we have to accept it as well, and move on.

Then again, many people are limited in their thinking, so you have to accept that as well. For better or worse it is what that relationship simply is:
If you have a friend that can only talk about sports well that is the fun in that, look no further; to drink some beers and do sport talk, go watch sport stuff, send memes, etc, etc.
The guy may be pretty limited in your view, not a bad person just a bit shallow... But if you just can't get the relationship out of sport stuff don't force it. You will lose your sports buddy! Oh, no!
Find someone else to talk about International politics, another for discussing cooking, another for...
That way you'll end up with a lot of relationships, a lot of friends, a lot of fun and more meaningful and deeper exchanges IN TIME.

But nobody has a life manual anyway, I think we make it up as we go, there's a lot of things I regret not having done, or get a different perspective about, but I think older folks will call "ageing", the wisdom you gain from living, not just that you decay and die, but you become enlightened. that is the beauty and nobleness in it don't you find?

You can always adapt and change anyway, it is in our nature (also to do the opposite and persevere! But that is up to you to decide, no matter how much advice you will get).
 

gaseous_clay

Well-Known Member
Technically, Stephen Hawking wasn't paralyzed. He had a fucked up disease that robbed him of the ability to use the muscles & should have killed him in 6 months. He fought it. Since something like 1961.
 
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