She does not like me getting high

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
i really am pissed.

My girl does not like me getting high.

Earlier this month we spent the night and in the morning we were watching videos on the web.

I wanted to vape, clicked my hopper and get sad eyes feom her.
"Do you consume every day?
Why now, cant you just enjoy the unaltered reality?"

I used to drink when i felt like it. She did not like it so i stopped. No parties or dancing anymore. Feel like becoming a bore. Got more and more into vaping. As a young lad i consumed weed whenever we had some.
 

Paka-cholo

Flaccid Member
I had the same issue in one relationship. It didn't work. I eventually found the love of my life, she doesn't mine my consumption at all. Sometimes it's daily, and other times I'll go for weeks or even years, and not consume. I'm more of a recreational user however. I know it helps calm me, and curb my aggression so it does have medical benefits for me. She will vape with me sometimes but she'd rather relax with a cold glass of champagne. I love your avatar BTW!
Good luck brother.
 

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
very much, i answer.

I think its not about weed or booze.
She says it makes me a person she does not like.
that what she said about me drinking alcohol.

i am stuck in a difficult phase of my life.
but i do think weed makes me able to feel some hedonism.
i dont get much shit done.
but that has be the case without weed aswell.

I think its rather harsh to criticize my consumption.
she has not given me a choice "weed or her".

she is not sure wether she wants a relationship.
she does not drink much and does not like weed.
 

chris 71

Well-Known Member
iv had my share of girlfriends , even been married once. ive had some make me feel bad for my love of the weed , or for other things which i didnt quite meet there qualification to be with them lol .
i had stressed and worried , and even tried to change my self in the past for a girl .

but... i am now with the best of them all , the prettiest , the most kind and loving . and she doesnt make me need to change anything . well as i type this she is telling me i need to do more dishes around here lol .

but she excepts every thing about me just loves me anyway . i look back and think wow ! , i cant believe some of the ones i wanted to be with in my past , talk about chop liver lol and how things change . hang in there bud and dont let anybody change who you are .
 

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
the thing is i do not really like who i am.
therefore it is quite easy to adjust to fit the requirements if i think it is necessary.

i gues i am a lazy bum with low self esteem who is with a mystical girl.
i dont know what she sees in me. shes way above my league
 

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
i wonder what it is myself.
If I knew i could accentutate it more.

It cant be my usage of alcohol or weed that she dislikes.
Ok, alcohol I can get.

I think its more the way I see and act in the world.
I am a troubled indiviudal with a lot of anger due to rejections and inability to interact in a way that i would like.

I stopped vaping.
now i feel like beeing cut off with my inner self.
weed gave me the oppurtunity to enjoy the world and see it a little less dark.
how am i supposed to fit in the world and be a young man with self esteem ?
 

GreenHopper

20 going on 60
Have you tried explaining to her why you enjoy partaking?

Have you introduced her to the community and spirit many partakers exude?

She may not be interested but if you show her it's more than just zoning out then it may broaden and deepen her understanding of the vibe and culture which may help her to see your perspective.

You can try changing for her and quitting just to see how it works for you but if it doesn't work for you, you can always come back to it and let her decide if she can live within your lifestyle.
 
Last edited:

little maggie

Well-Known Member
i wonder what it is myself.
If I knew i could accentutate it more.

It cant be my usage of alcohol or weed that she dislikes.
Ok, alcohol I can get.

I think its more the way I see and act in the world.
I am a troubled indiviudal with a lot of anger due to rejections and inability to interact in a way that i would like.

I stopped vaping.
now i feel like beeing cut off with my inner self.
weed gave me the oppurtunity to enjoy the world and see it a little less dark.
how am i supposed to fit in the world and be a young man with self esteem ?

You said that she's not sure she wants a relationship. It sounds like you like her more than she does you. It doesn't help your self esteem to be with a woman who is so judgmental. At the same time although you talk about vaping helping with hedonism whatever you mean by that are you vaping or were you drinking as a way to distract from how you feel about yourself? Feeling better about yourself is not going to be helped with drugs or with a girlfriend who you have on a pedestal who is so critical. I know vaping can help with depression but it might help to work on your self esteem in some way in addition to vaping or instead of looking for something external whether a girlfriend or a drug.
 

little maggie

Well-Known Member
I kind of agree with your girlfriend- not how she is treating you. But why can't you appreciate unaltered reality? Just saying- that's something to consider. Not necessarily all the time because it can be fun to get stoned if you're doing it recreationally. And some videos and music are more interesting stoned. Still- do you ever head outside at sunset unmedicated and just look at the sky?
I feel like I'm lecturing so I'm going to shut up. Just one more comment: She is not "better" than you. You wrote something about wondering why she wants to be with you. When we're depressed it feels like everyone else is better. I used to try to remind myself that if someone was hanging out with me it must be because they liked something about who I am not necessarily who they thought I could be.
 

Alexis

Well-Known Member
There's something about you that this girl likes.
Without knowing your girl obviously @Mr.Sifter I have no right to suggest this, but I feel I should. Not everybody who gets into a relationship of sorts has honourable intentions. Some seek to undermine and control. Like the bully, thay will seek out the weak and low esteemed. They are deep down insecure and weak themselves. And they arent even fully aware of what they are doing.

But it doesnt sound like she really cares about you or your feelings, or like she is really interested. If she genuinely did care and want to get to know you for who you are, she might be less focused on trying to change you and more worried about you accepting her, and if she doesnt like your weed use she could have an honest discussion with you explaining,,in both of your interests why she feels that way, offer POSITIVE encouragement and try to understand why you use the weed and how it helps you.

It sounds like you are at a low spot in life which makes you vulnerable to being exploited, manipulated and used.

So just be careful and, be honest with yourself. You admit, you feel she is too good for you, like she is royalty and you are the peasant. So she has more rights, more say etc.
These are not the foundations on which to build an open, equal, loving relationship.
I quoted Carol's comment because maybe your girl has seen your weakness and vulnerability to exercise some good old fashioned opportunism.

Just be careful pal, and as Carol very rightly says, dont sell yourself short.
 

invertedisdead

OG Baller
Cannabis can help a lot with depression and mental health, however for this group I think the line is finer than most. IMO cannabis can be not nice when you are depressed, it's easy to fall into excessive self medicating, which is not the way cannabis helps with depression. For me at least, I only need to ease my tension and potentiate my outlook on life. When I puff heavy I retreat and it does make me a different person. I think other groups are less sensitive to overuse.
 
Your "girlfriend" doesn't actually like you. She likes the imaginary image of what she believes she can force and mold you into for her own satisfaction and fantasy. Run...
These are profound words indeed.
Either run or vape as you please and tell her to deal with it. If she cant its over.

I am married to a great woman who accepts my vaping. In my younger days I went through many girlfriends who wanted me to change. For one I even tried but in the end it cant work. Life is short, be who you are.
 

Diggy Smalls

Notorious
The early stages of a relationship are when I like to evaluate things and see what's working. If my lifestyle is a problem early on, that tells me it's not a good fit. It can suck being alone, but it sucks worse allowing yourself to be hurt and controlled by sometime you look up to.

My advice would be to step back a little bit and get some space between the two of you. Slow things down.

It doesn't sound like a very balanced relationship, however. As mentioned, it seems as if you are into her more than she is into you. Not the best feelings there...
 
Last edited:

Mr.Sifter

Well-Known Member
I know.
I too think I want her more than she wants me.
I am content with this situation.
Eventually she will move on to someone she likes more.
Until then I want to be with her.
Self destrutictive it seems, yes.
But I think there is not much of me to destroy anyway.

i would be okay to live my life to serve her.
Let her feel and know that i am always there; no matter what.

But I think she wants someone who loves life and keeps evolving and striving for the great luck.
I dont have this illussion.
 

Ricardo

Well-Known Member
I think it was Noel (Gallagher) who shocked the British nation when he said that for many people rolling a J (= vaping for us) was "like getting up and having a cup of tea in the morning" . There will always be people who will always disapprove of what others do.... (Mind you, Noel has very strong opinions on a lot of things, including how to make the perfect cup of tea) :D
 

Doktor Dub

Well-Known Member
@Mr.Sifter

I can t tell you what to do without knowing you two in reality, but your last post makes me sad and feel with you.

No matter how your relation evolves, if you feel this way about yourself you probably have a real depression - that is an serious illness and you deserve help to heal.
Think about going to a Therapist - he can help you with your own Demons and also with your relationships.

You are not less worth than other people!!!
 
Top Bottom