Random thoughts

Vitolo

Vaporist
The Genius of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popu, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work
 

Trajectory.

Active Member
I've been hearing Tesla's Modern Day Cowboy as

May Pang, shoot 'em up,
May Pang, blow you away

Then I remembered that the real May Pang probably did blow away John Lennon, at least in bed. I'll bet the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) put her up to it. Look here:


(If that link is bad, look for Vintage photos of Lennon and Pang.)
 
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Trajectory.,

Vitolo

Vaporist
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Grass Yes

Yes
Staff member

florduh

Well-Known Member
I saw this more as "Nerd makes up story about something that never happened."

LOL, you know... you're 100% correct. Kind of sad that the Christian author of "Letter to the American Church" violated one of the 10 Commandments just to make himself look like a giant fucking loser.
 

Madtater

Well-Known Member

Sounds like some lunatic, maybe having a mental health crisis, started shouting something incoherent at strangers. Based on the new rules of society, he's lucky those teenagers didn't choke the life out of him.
I fucking hate people who feel the need to interject themselves into other people’s business that has nothing to do with them.

Hopefully he trips on a rock while running.
 

Trajectory.

Active Member
This morning I woke up with exaction rambling in my mind. But it's an extraction, isn't it? I spent a moment contemplating this, until my first cup of coffee was ready.

Really, don't try to think before your first cup.

 
Trajectory.,

Trajectory.

Active Member
I get an early start. Just got in to work as the sky is getting light.

On my drive in to work, it's very predictable. I always mumble to myself, also very predictable. Either 'me and Amy fucking' or just 'vagina'
 
Trajectory.,
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