Bea Arthur & Rock Hudson "Everybody Today is Turnin' On" (1980)
This song comes from a successful 1970's musical called “I Love My Wife” (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Love_...) with lyrics by Michael Stewart (“Hello Dolly”) and music by Cy Coleman (“Sweet Charity,” “On the Twentieth Century”). This was a play about the sexual revolution of the 70's featuring two wife-swapping couples.
Lyrics:
For some it’s grass, for some it’s coke
For some it’s powder, for some it’s smoke
Everybody today is turning on!
For some it’s dust, for some it’s weed
For some it’s acid, for some it’s speed
Everybody today is turning on!
Time was when if a fella felt depressed
He simply got it off his chest
By callin’ on a preacher
Talkin’ to his teacher
Coughin’ up a half a buck to see a double feature!
But now it’s pills, and now it’s pot
And now it’s poppers, and God-knows-what
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are gone
Everybody today is turning on!
The simple life it must have been
When “smoke” was Luckys and “high” was gin
One pink lady and how it turned ‘em on!
“Junk” was trash, “speed” was swift
Glue was pasted instead of sniffed
Coke and aspirin, and wow it turned ‘em on!
Those days when ever folks were feeling low
They knew that they could get a glow
At chasing with the vapors
Laughing at the capers
That mutt n' Jeff were cuttin' in the Sunday funny papers
But now it’s sniff and down it goes
Around your windpipe and up your nose
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are gone
Everybody today is turning on!
Remember when “high” was up and kicks were tame
And “amyl nitrate” was some guy’s name?
Holdin’ hands and smoochin’ was turning on
“Horse” was ride and “roach” was bugs
“French connections” were foreign plugs
Jivin’ to Eddie Duchin was turning on!
Those days when if your nerves were kind of shot
Instead of going right to pot
You prayed to hold it steady
Kept a Bible ready
Took advice from Rabbi Weiss or Mary Baker Eddy!
But when the world is so amiss
How can a whiskey beat cannibis?
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are temporarily gone
Everybody today is turning on!
Remember when “hash” was fried and “T” was brewed?
Someone “pushing” was merely rude
But once a week you cut the grass
And too much acid just gave you gas
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are temporarily gone
Everybody today is puffin’
Into fudge look what they’re stuffin’
Hold it, Ma, don’t touch that muffin
God knows what your grandpa’s snuffin’
Everybody today is turning on!