Joke thread
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His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
vapviking
Old & In the Way
Holmes and Watson were out camping and late one night as they lay in their sleeping bags, Holmes asked, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see a sliver of a moon, and very few clouds. All in all, a pleasant night."
"Anything else?" Holmes wondered.
"I see countless stars and planets and the Milky Way beyond. But Holmes, tell me what you see up there."
"Watson, someone has stolen our tent!"
Watson replied, "I see a sliver of a moon, and very few clouds. All in all, a pleasant night."
"Anything else?" Holmes wondered.
"I see countless stars and planets and the Milky Way beyond. But Holmes, tell me what you see up there."
"Watson, someone has stolen our tent!"
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?" The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"
