Joke thread

macbill

Gregarious Misanthrope
Staff member


 
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His_Highness

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks.

Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven."

Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart."

Arnold eventually found one that he liked. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
 

vapviking

Old and In the Way
Andy Borowitz:

Putin Agrees To Peacefully Transfer Power To Biden

MOSCOW
—In a concession speech remarkable for its graciousness, Vladimir Putin
committed to peacefully transfer power to Joe Biden. Putin was philosophical about losing his control of the White House after nearly four years, stating, “It is what it is.” But he had nothing but contempt
for Donald J. Trump and his ill-fated 2020 campaign. “I can’t believe how much time he wasted on that Hunter Biden bullshit,” he said. “I mean, what was that?”
 

Tranquility

Well-Known Member
Who would have thought two old men in their '70s could maintain an election so long?

Two more while waiting for the results of all contests by Dec 14 (https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/IF/IF11641)"Show me the Certificates!":
1. The only way Donnie two scoops gets to 270 is by dropping 40 pounds.
2. It's crazy to think the future will be all mail election voting. Women fought long and hard for the franchise and I think they should get to keep it.

 
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