Joke thread
- Thread starter Purple-Days
- Start date
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Two guys go golfing. First guy's drive goes far left into a neighboring farm's field so he goes to look for it. When he comes back from the field he's got a big black eye. His buddy runs up and asks "What the hell happened"!? Are you alright!?!?!
The guy who was looking for his ball explained..."When I went to find my ball I ran into a woman who was also looking for her golf ball. Neither of us could find our balls so we teamed up and began walking/looking together. We decided to check by a cow in the field and I saw my ball by the cow's back leg. When I picked up my ball I happened to look up and see that there was a golf ball stuck in the cows ass. I stood up and lifted the cows tail and asked the woman "Does this look like yours". POW!
The guy who was looking for his ball explained..."When I went to find my ball I ran into a woman who was also looking for her golf ball. Neither of us could find our balls so we teamed up and began walking/looking together. We decided to check by a cow in the field and I saw my ball by the cow's back leg. When I picked up my ball I happened to look up and see that there was a golf ball stuck in the cows ass. I stood up and lifted the cows tail and asked the woman "Does this look like yours". POW!
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
For scripting advice:
http://www.technobabble.biz/
As shut-up Wesley once wrote:
As I did my preparation, I realized that while the technobabble isjust a dump of information, it’s information that Doctor Parrish has an opinion about. The function of the scene is to get the action going and give the audience some important information, but that doesn’t mean it has to be an infodump. The way Doctor Parrish feels about the other characters affects the way he talks with them regardless of the words. It affects who he chooses to give certain bits of information to, and it affects how he delivers the information. So I found ways to be emotionally connected to the scene and the characters, while caring about the information I was giving them, so it wasn’t an infodump. A scene that could have been tedious and boring became a scene that was a lot of fun to perform.
…
It honestly could have been boring and exhausting to spend much of a day delivering technobabble, but when I realized that I could keep it interesting by endowing the technobabble with emotional resonance, the whole thing came to life in a surprising and unexpected way. It was like I’d detected anomalies in the starboard neutrino emitter, and instead of adjusting the warp plasma induction subroutine to compensate for multiadaptive fluctuations, like you’d usually do, I thought about it, and equalized the portable phase transmission with a self-sealing warp core transmuter.
…
It honestly could have been boring and exhausting to spend much of a day delivering technobabble, but when I realized that I could keep it interesting by endowing the technobabble with emotional resonance, the whole thing came to life in a surprising and unexpected way. It was like I’d detected anomalies in the starboard neutrino emitter, and instead of adjusting the warp plasma induction subroutine to compensate for multiadaptive fluctuations, like you’d usually do, I thought about it, and equalized the portable phase transmission with a self-sealing warp core transmuter.
The following quote is from the original Students’ Quarterly Journal article written by J. H. Quick in 1946.
Turboencabulator
The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two main spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-deltoid type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremmie pipe to the differential girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.
Turboencabulator
The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two main spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-deltoid type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremmie pipe to the differential girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
Remember when every turbo encabulator had a girdle spring? Now that shit's all gone digital. They don't even synchronize the cardinal grammeters right. What a waste.
Ramahs
Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
An important predecessor not to be forgotten!, the Retro Encabulator!
Rockwell, where the FUTURE is TOMORROW!
Ramahs
Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
Have you seen the new Crypto Encabulator? The new model is now protected by micro-encrypted blockchain processors. This will allow it to even be used with Millford Crunyons, amoungst other lofective processes. The future of Encabulator technology is here!
unsorted
Well-Known Member
These "encabulator" vids are utterly fabulous. Made me laugh so hard that I was scared that I couldn't get my breath back!
Ramahs
Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
Here's a little on the actual history of the joke: https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/news/turbo-encabulator-history-engineers-joke/
As one commenter to the Rockwell video said: “If you don't get the joke, you must be an anhydrous sinusoidal dingle-sprocket.”
Tranquility
Well-Known Member
(While hoping no one thinks they get an extra hour today.)