Depression thread pt2

-dab8-

Dyna-saur
Depression has been a large part of my life as long as I can remember.

Don't get me wrong, I on'y started to come to that conclusion in the last couple of years, as I'd previously just thought that was how everyone felt.

I've been self-medicating my entire life. Used cannabis for it for a handful of years in my early 20's, then got busted, and spent 10 years on probation. Couldn't use cannabis for most of the time (had a couple dirty UA's during the first couple of years, then decided to not risk it for the latter 8 years), and used alcohol for the same thing during that time. As you might imagine, that fucked with those 8-years of my life (which ended a couple of years ago), and they were not exactly good for me. Now that I can use cannabis again, I'm regulating my alcohol intake to a reasonable amount, but still working on getting it down to where it should be again.

I'm just glad to have cannabis back in my life again.
Yeah, I don’t understand the person who said cannabis brings them down. Such a wonderful gift to me. Different strokes I guess.
 

Ramahs

Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
Yeah, I don’t understand the person who said cannabis brings them down. Such a wonderful gift to me. Different strokes I guess.

It also depends on the type of cannabis. The wrong strain for the wrong mood can spoil a lot for someone looking for a comfortable space. Especially if they are inexperienced.

Luckilly, I had a positive experience with my first cannabis high experience. Some are not so lucky
 

Ramahs

Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
noooo we need everything

I didn't delete anything. I accidentally double-posted...then realized my error, edited my original post and copy/pasted the second post into it.
 
Ramahs,
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clukx

Well-Known Member
I feel really guilty with all of your long replies, and my short pointless posts lol... i think im just gonna be like this forever ya know it just sucks :/ when i stay busy it does seem to help though
 
Much of the cause of depression is the thoughts screaming through your mind. Seems that you just can't stop them. So, keeping busy is a definite help. Background noise like a movie on TV or some music also seems to help, sometimes. Reviewing negative scenarios over and over in your head is a definite bad thing. LOL
 

Marlon Rando

Well-Known Member
when i stay busy it does seem to help though

pretty much this, or you can view your thoughts as a TV program and you have control of the remote, any channel you don't like (your mood) change the channel. Its sometimes just this simple, we dwell on stupid shit all the time needlessly, Have you ever donated your time to help others @clukx ? if no, I would highly suggest doing something to assist others in need, this will significantly impact and change your perspective. Life is hard my man and many times it ain't fair, yet its full of awesomeness and beauty, seek that balance, seek out people who bring you up.
 

pxl_jockey

Just a dude
@-dab8- So your horse gets high too? Combustion or vapor? :lol:

So I have had depression before, with chronic diseases and pain my entire adult life, it will get ya good sometimes. And as rough as it has been a couple of times for me, I know it can be much MUCH worse and I cannot imagine dealing with long-term or life-long depression.

I also wanted to say that all (every one) of the members posting in this thread are among my favourites to read in other threads and topics here on FC. You guys make me laugh and think about things differently, it really makes me sad that you don’t know how good y’all are. I guess that’s the nature of the beast though, it’s insidious and creeps in. Anyway I’m serious, I wish you could see how others see/feel about you.
 

-dab8-

Dyna-saur
@-dab8- So your horse gets high too? Combustion or vapor? :lol:

So I have had depression before, with chronic diseases and pain my entire adult life, it will get ya good sometimes. And as rough as it has been a couple of times for me, I know it can be much MUCH worse and I cannot imagine dealing with long-term or life-long depression.

I also wanted to say that all (every one) of the members posting in this thread are among my favourites to read in other threads and topics here on FC. You guys make me laugh and think about things differently, it really makes me sad that you don’t know how good y’all are. I guess that’s the nature of the beast though, it’s insidious and creeps in. Anyway I’m serious, I wish you could see how others see/feel about you.
Awesome post. I think you’re right, while there are many forms of depression, a lot of it for me and many others stems from a lack of accurate opinion of self worth. I’m my own worst enemy.
 

Ricardo

Well-Known Member
@pxl_jockey Yo dude! Of all the gin joints in all the world etc... .. Where have you been man?
Just to state my credentials, I have long term, severe depression with generalised anxiety and yes, getting the right combo of meds is enormously tricky in the first place, quite apart from life situation. Obviously yes to good diet, exercise etc. The problem is finding a purpose in life.
 

pxl_jockey

Just a dude
@pxl_jockey Yo dude! Of all the gin joints in all the world etc... .. Where have you been man?
Just to state my credentials, I have long term, severe depression with generalised anxiety and yes, getting the right combo of meds is enormously tricky in the first place, quite apart from life situation. Obviously yes to good diet, exercise etc. The problem is finding a purpose in life.

Hey my man! :wave: Just some health drama is all, but I am back in action! Nothing new, same same. Love that you felt the need to state your credentials, that is some funny shit! Not your depression and pain obviously, but you always find a way to make me laugh!!

I’m also seconding the “finding a purpose in life” is a big deal. I’m still looking, I had one once...

I struggled immensely with this, being medically retired at a relatively young age and loving to work and use my brain, while not being able to in any significant way for any reasonable length of time. Messed with my self-worth, self-image, not being “able to provide”... I still struggle with all this some days... After nearly dying more than a handful of times, why am I still kicking? Trying not to let illness and pain define me as it robs the joy and passion from my life. I feel sorry for my family and what it’s meant to their lives, it’s certainly taken from them as well. But then I think of people dealing with way worse and coping with dignity, and I really feel like shit. :lol: I’m at hospital enough, I see plenty of patients better than I am!


EDIT: And that’s how you bum out a depression thread, Ladies and Gents!:clap::rofl::ugh:
 
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Morty

Well-Known Member
In all seriousness, depression, not the "I got the blues", but the straight up "gun on the roof of your mouth" depression SUUUUUUUCKS!!! And it usually doesn't come alone. I'm lucky enough to have the triad; diagnosed depression (w/ a few bouts of manic depression throughout the years), anxiety & OCD (hard fuckin' core organizational and clean freak type shit. Super exhausting!) This crapolla has dogged me my WHOLE life. It's robbed me of happiness, love, self acceptance, opportunities, & so much more. I can understand @clukx where you & everyone else in this thread are coming from.

Pills, for me...fuck the pills! Memories of being a little kid puking my guts out, dizzy, crying & lying down in my mother's or grandmother's lap. Nope, not for me. And I never liked how they made me feel (when I gave them a shot later on)...like a goddamn zombie!!! Emotionless & there pyhsically but not mentally. The things that have helped me are...
Art, music, weed, exercise

Art: Even if you suck at it (I do!), try painting. Or writing, or photography (my favorite!). Something artistic. It's a release & a healthy escape. Reading too. Books baby! (Not magazines or forums! :p)

Music: Thank God for music! Life to me would not be worth living for me without it. But try to stay away from the depressing shit! :2c: (No Thom Yorke! :rofl:) Listening to stuff like this, while great artistically & emotionally affirming, just made me go down the drain even further.

But some Motown, oh baby, just instantly pulls me out of most funks & super charges me right there & then. Afro-beat & some hard heavy rock/metal I find works well for me too.

More people straight up need some Motown in their lives!


Weed: Weed is tight!

Unless your a pain patient, I'd say stay away from macro-dosing. I used to smoke, then later vape shit tons, but found micro-dosing much more suitable in helping me get to an overall more positive mental place & attitude. Again, not trying to be preachy, just my :2c:.

Exercise: Big one here. If your able, just do it (felt like I've heard that somewhere before :lol:). Like everyday. I'm currently on a two month plus t-break & walking every morning after I get up just helps to start the day on a positive note & puts me mentally in a good place. I plan on running once the weather cools down (fuckin' tinea versicolor! :rant:). Just started getting into lifting weights again as well. Another option to consider if the weather outside sucks.

If you ever feel suicidal, talk to someone, anyone. As somebody whose been at death's door by his own hand, talking would have helped me out immensely in that particular situation & then later through the years, has helped me out when feeling that way. Talking & connecting just helps. For me personally, I always found suicidal thoughts to be kind of like cravings. If I can make it past those, it allows me the time to (re)build up the strength to defeat the next one(s). Best o' luck my friend. Life sure can suck some donkey dick, but it can have it's moments of bliss & beauty as well. Trying to keeps things in perspective helps me a lot as well, because it can always be worse. Much, much worse.

:peace:


Edited...you know, for OCD's sake. :haw:
 
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clukx

Well-Known Member
In all seriousness, depression, not the "I got the blues", but the straight up "gun on the roof of your mouth" depression SUUUUUUUCKS!!! And it usually doesn't come alone. I'm lucky enough to have the triad; diagnosed depression (w/ a few bouts of manic depression throughout the years), anxiety & OCD (hard fuckin' core organizational and clean freak type shit. Super exhausting!) This crapolla has dogged me my WHOLE life. It's robbed me of happiness, love, self acceptance, opportunities, & so much more. I can understand @clukx where you & everyone else in this thread are coming from.

Pills, for me...fuck the pills! Memories of being a little kid puking my guts out, dizzy, crying & lying down in my mother's or grandmother's lap. Nope, not for me. And I never liked how they made me feel (when I gave them a shot later on)...like a goddamn zombie!!! Emotionless & there pyhsically but not mentally. The things that have helped me are...


Art: Even if you suck at it (I do!), try painting. Or writing, or photography (my favorite!). Something artistic. It's a release & a healthy escape. Reading too. Books baby! (Not magazines or forums! :p)

Music: Thank God for music! Life to me would not be worth living for me without it. But try to stay away from the depressing shit! :2c: (No Thom Yorke! :rofl:) Listening to stuff like this, while great artistically & emotionally affirming, just made me go down the drain even further.

But some Motown, oh baby, just instantly pulls me out of most funks & super charges me right there & then. Afro-beat & some hard heavy rock/metal I find works well for me too.

More people straight up need some Motown in their lives!


Weed: Weed is tight!

Unless your a pain patient, I'd say stay away from macro-dosing. I used to smoke, then later vape shit tons, but found micro-dosing much more suitable in helping me get to an overall more positive mental place & attitude. Again, not trying to be preachy, just my :2c:.

Exercise: Big one here. If your able, just do it (felt like I've heard that somewhere before :lol:). Like everyday. I'm currently on a two month plus t-break & walking every morning after I get up just helps to start the day on a positive note & puts me mentally in a good place. I plan on running once the weather cools down (fuckin' tinea versicolor! :rant:). Just started getting into lifting weights again as well. Another option to consider if the weather outside sucks.

If you ever feel suicidal, talk to someone, anyone. As somebody whose been at death's door by his own hand, talking would have helped me out immensely in that particular situation & then later through the years, has helped me out when feeling that way. Talking & connecting just helps. For me personally, I always found suicidal thoughts to be kind of like cravings. If I can make it past those, it allows me the time to (re)build up the strength to defeat the next one(s). Best o' luck my friend. Life sure can suck some donkey dick, but it can have it's moments of bliss & beauty as well. Trying to keeps things in perspective helps me a lot as well, because it can always be worse. Much, much worse.

:peace:


Edited...you know, for OCD's sake. :haw:
thanks so much for this giant post, man i dont know where you guys find the time and the heart to post such long messages...i dont think i can get out a whole paragraph about myself out there like that.
all i know is that when im busy outside i dont find myself as down ya know...
ive been like this for so long i just comes and goes but i wish it would just go i think ive tried almost everything by now..almost lol
there's people currently in way worse situations then me i get it..
 

Ramahs

Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
there's people currently in way worse situations then me i get it..

I've always been annoyed by the "you shouldn't be sad because so many have it worse than you" people.
If that were the case, then it would also be tantamount to say "you shouldn't be happy, because many people have it better than you".
 
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