Cold Turkey
- Thread starter Rick
- Start date
Rick
Zapman
Thanks so much for that placetime. You made our Christmas day.
I do have to say, it is not easy to keep singing my song. We try to start every day with the good song but sometimes it just does not happen. Today was one of those days. Maybe just a self pity party which can easily spiral, maybe because no family here til Friday, maybe because no news yet on my prostate biopsy done last Friday, maybe because they really molest that fucking little walnut organ getting their chunks of it out of the middle(a dozen or so) and that causes a bunch of blood and clots coming out in my pee. Maybe because I do not like dealing with probation and all the rules of random numbers to check every day, meet with counselor and all the other BS. But today was also the reality that we have a two inch sheet of ice everywhere around our place and out our shady road which is not good stuff for old folks. Getting better though as Mike went out with the cat and spun a bunch of brodies everywhere which turned the ice from glass to powdered glass for a while anyway. Getting better as my favorite chore of feeding Wilma, Kobe and Daisy will be easier now without so much tension and stress. I won't even let Pat out of the house because of the ice. Falls are bad stuff when you get older and I have taken a few already in the last couple weeks.
Thanks all for letting me vent. The honeymoon over stopping my affair with Mary Jane is over. I do miss her at times but I will not even think about touching the hot stove til the fire goes out, many months from now. BTW, still showing "positive" on the home test strips after close to 7 weeks not touching or even smelling the stuff. So ironic that the mildest "bad guy" stays with us for so long yet the real nasties like Meth are gone in a few days. No wonder we are seeing citizens legalize it. I honestly never thought I would see the day.
Merry Christmas and remind yourself to stay thankful as much as possible. That always helps make good days and good health.
I do have to say, it is not easy to keep singing my song. We try to start every day with the good song but sometimes it just does not happen. Today was one of those days. Maybe just a self pity party which can easily spiral, maybe because no family here til Friday, maybe because no news yet on my prostate biopsy done last Friday, maybe because they really molest that fucking little walnut organ getting their chunks of it out of the middle(a dozen or so) and that causes a bunch of blood and clots coming out in my pee. Maybe because I do not like dealing with probation and all the rules of random numbers to check every day, meet with counselor and all the other BS. But today was also the reality that we have a two inch sheet of ice everywhere around our place and out our shady road which is not good stuff for old folks. Getting better though as Mike went out with the cat and spun a bunch of brodies everywhere which turned the ice from glass to powdered glass for a while anyway. Getting better as my favorite chore of feeding Wilma, Kobe and Daisy will be easier now without so much tension and stress. I won't even let Pat out of the house because of the ice. Falls are bad stuff when you get older and I have taken a few already in the last couple weeks.
Thanks all for letting me vent. The honeymoon over stopping my affair with Mary Jane is over. I do miss her at times but I will not even think about touching the hot stove til the fire goes out, many months from now. BTW, still showing "positive" on the home test strips after close to 7 weeks not touching or even smelling the stuff. So ironic that the mildest "bad guy" stays with us for so long yet the real nasties like Meth are gone in a few days. No wonder we are seeing citizens legalize it. I honestly never thought I would see the day.
Merry Christmas and remind yourself to stay thankful as much as possible. That always helps make good days and good health.
PanicFreak
Theo
Finally after 77 days I got a negative screen on a pee test. It's been a long road and I am glad to be submitting resumes out to companies. I cannot believe it has been 11 weeks and I am just now clean. It's very unfair that a crack user would be more eligible for a job than me giving the half life of harder drugs.
Rick, hopefully before much longer your tests will come up clean, I am in pretty good shape but used daily and used some pretty damn good stuff. Looking forward to hearing that I am hired and being able to celebrate. I will never use again like I did previously, just too risky to get caught. It really is a shame though that marijuana users are treated so unfairly. I think the threshold for marijuana metabolites should be raised due to this unfairness. But then again what does the drug test people care what I think.
Rick, hopefully before much longer your tests will come up clean, I am in pretty good shape but used daily and used some pretty damn good stuff. Looking forward to hearing that I am hired and being able to celebrate. I will never use again like I did previously, just too risky to get caught. It really is a shame though that marijuana users are treated so unfairly. I think the threshold for marijuana metabolites should be raised due to this unfairness. But then again what does the drug test people care what I think.
Rick
Zapman
Well Theo that is great news!. I am still testing positive with the home test strips which are either yes or no. The probation folks get the real deal so we have a downward line that keeps going down if we are good. My last visit with my PO was pretty good. She actually smiled, just a little. She said "you are still showing positive but your line is coming down. If it changes we will have to have a talk". I simply said "it will not go up". And it will not. We are doing fine with no pot or booze. I look so forward to every night. "what dreams tonight?" The MJ test thing is not fair for sure but that is life sometimes. We just have to roll with the punches til we get out of the ring.
The freedom thing is also very cool as I just may find a part time job after I get done with community service. Lots of new jobs in the security camera field and I have been doing some studying lately. It is amazing how my mind has so much more clarity. Kind of cool knowing I just fogged it real heavy but it is still there. Memory is really improving too.
Got the results of my prostate molestation(biopsy) and it is 98% good. The lab found one cell that it labeled with a question mark so I will be going in to discuss it with my doc as the nurses cannot tell you anything. They took a dozen pieces of meat out of that little bugger and all but one were fine. The one was still a ? which God knows what that means.
Liens come off the property any day and we will soon be making a trip in with the truck to get all the other stuff they took out in the big white van on 7/25/2012.
Happy New Year everyone. Going to be a great one around here. Pat is turning into The Bug Lady, making beaded dragonflies, spiders and other stuff. She had to fill her little Zap table with something else and is doing great. She has been ordered by me to stay in the house as we still have lots of ice everywhere which is like glass with a good day or two of rain now and then, then back to mid '20s. Then Mike gets the Cat going and spins brodies everywhere he can. It is really a trip to see a 16,000 lb crawler sliding down the driveway when he gets sideways.....laughing all the way! Before long it will be time to start plants for the farm.
The freedom thing is also very cool as I just may find a part time job after I get done with community service. Lots of new jobs in the security camera field and I have been doing some studying lately. It is amazing how my mind has so much more clarity. Kind of cool knowing I just fogged it real heavy but it is still there. Memory is really improving too.
Got the results of my prostate molestation(biopsy) and it is 98% good. The lab found one cell that it labeled with a question mark so I will be going in to discuss it with my doc as the nurses cannot tell you anything. They took a dozen pieces of meat out of that little bugger and all but one were fine. The one was still a ? which God knows what that means.
Liens come off the property any day and we will soon be making a trip in with the truck to get all the other stuff they took out in the big white van on 7/25/2012.
Happy New Year everyone. Going to be a great one around here. Pat is turning into The Bug Lady, making beaded dragonflies, spiders and other stuff. She had to fill her little Zap table with something else and is doing great. She has been ordered by me to stay in the house as we still have lots of ice everywhere which is like glass with a good day or two of rain now and then, then back to mid '20s. Then Mike gets the Cat going and spins brodies everywhere he can. It is really a trip to see a 16,000 lb crawler sliding down the driveway when he gets sideways.....laughing all the way! Before long it will be time to start plants for the farm.
PanicFreak
Theo
Ahh spring time will be like a breath of fresh air. Ready to get out there and turn some dirt up myself, ready for a mater samich too. Watching the life a garden is such a miraculous and rewarding task. We have a great support for small family farms in my community, the local farmers market is always full of eccentric people willing to show off their crops. Sometimes living in a small town has some great benefits.
Gotta a interview this Friday with a prospective company. It's a smaller family owned company but it's a great company I hear from a friend who works in the same field but for a much larger company. If hired its gonna be a exciting and rewarding career for me. The days and time away from home are gonna be tough, but then again my pocket book will be a lot more sufficient. Looking forwards to the adventure of the job. I have always wanted to travel and being a young man, it's gonna be exciting. Still kinda stressed about the drug test thing even though I tested clean, I just keep thinking what if? I will be 86 days sober on my interview. I still think I am gonna drink plenty of water and take creatine and also b vitamins for a ease of mind. I have taken a test here locally and the lab tech told me I passed, faint line but she informed me that all labs are required to say a sample is negative even though the line is faint. Hopefully I am just thinking this test through to much and letting paranioa get to me. I just don't wanna blow this opportunity. I have also had one other company call me so I do have a backup in place but I would have to drive atleast 8 hours for my interview and about 7 once employed atleast once a month. I am definitely asking the big man upstairs for faith and well being as I venture to this interview. If its in his plan I shall prosper, if not then I will calmly go on and keep chasing my dream until I reach my goal.
Happy New Years everyone, I hope everyone makes the best of 2014. If there is something you been holding off on doing, get out there and do it. We're only here for a short time and it'd be a shame to only dream, turn those dreams into reality.
Gotta a interview this Friday with a prospective company. It's a smaller family owned company but it's a great company I hear from a friend who works in the same field but for a much larger company. If hired its gonna be a exciting and rewarding career for me. The days and time away from home are gonna be tough, but then again my pocket book will be a lot more sufficient. Looking forwards to the adventure of the job. I have always wanted to travel and being a young man, it's gonna be exciting. Still kinda stressed about the drug test thing even though I tested clean, I just keep thinking what if? I will be 86 days sober on my interview. I still think I am gonna drink plenty of water and take creatine and also b vitamins for a ease of mind. I have taken a test here locally and the lab tech told me I passed, faint line but she informed me that all labs are required to say a sample is negative even though the line is faint. Hopefully I am just thinking this test through to much and letting paranioa get to me. I just don't wanna blow this opportunity. I have also had one other company call me so I do have a backup in place but I would have to drive atleast 8 hours for my interview and about 7 once employed atleast once a month. I am definitely asking the big man upstairs for faith and well being as I venture to this interview. If its in his plan I shall prosper, if not then I will calmly go on and keep chasing my dream until I reach my goal.
Happy New Years everyone, I hope everyone makes the best of 2014. If there is something you been holding off on doing, get out there and do it. We're only here for a short time and it'd be a shame to only dream, turn those dreams into reality.
Rick
Zapman
Theo, the people at my lab say the most important thing to do before a UA is to eat a good breakfast, high in protein. I use my 'random' days as a good excuse to have steak and eggs or some other meat and eggs, hashbrowns, etc. They say the food is what makes urine, not more water. You do want to be careful of a diluted sample as that is considered a positive, same with any unusual additives in your urine. You should be very good to go with 86 days especially after testing clean at day 77. In our state, pre-employment tests are also done not observed which will take away some stress. The home test strips also work well and are very cheap, less than a buck from Amazon. I just did the home test again last night and am still showing positive over 60 days clean.
The best to you in your new opportunities and your new freedom to pee clean. I'll bet you are dreaming good too. I just took a nap this afternoon, first in several weeks and had another dream where I toked. It was very real as I wondered if I would be called tomorrow in the dream but also knew it would not matter as the damn stuff stays with us for so long. I was very happy to wake up from that one!
Jim, the regular attendant at the lab also informed me the "random" thing is based on a monthly average which was comforting. I thought they were upping me to twice a week for the last couple weeks but basically we get x amount of tests a month. You can go almost the entire month with no tests, then get hit every day to catch up to the monthly average.
The best to you in your new opportunities and your new freedom to pee clean. I'll bet you are dreaming good too. I just took a nap this afternoon, first in several weeks and had another dream where I toked. It was very real as I wondered if I would be called tomorrow in the dream but also knew it would not matter as the damn stuff stays with us for so long. I was very happy to wake up from that one!
Jim, the regular attendant at the lab also informed me the "random" thing is based on a monthly average which was comforting. I thought they were upping me to twice a week for the last couple weeks but basically we get x amount of tests a month. You can go almost the entire month with no tests, then get hit every day to catch up to the monthly average.
PanicFreak
Theo
Hey Rick, how's the DT coming? Any good news on the home testing? In my experience the strips were not very accurate. I like the Devon medical t cup from amazon. You just pee on cup and put on cap then peel of the label for results. No dipping and trying find a cup to pee in, it's a all in one solution. I know he one my local lab uses are the uscreen cups but I only have seen then online for a case purchase which is like a hundred bucks or more. Anyways I feel those tests are more accurate and easier to use. I am day 98, took my first urine of the day today and the bottom line was very visible.
Interview two weeks ago felt good, no job offer or DT just yet. But I am feeling optimistic. I gotta couple friends who work 5 hrs from home pulling for me at another company. Kinda hope it works out cause the is substantially better and actually would have more time off while making more money. Just hoping it all works out for me. Still talking to the Big Man, praying he allows me to advance in my career. Take care all.
Interview two weeks ago felt good, no job offer or DT just yet. But I am feeling optimistic. I gotta couple friends who work 5 hrs from home pulling for me at another company. Kinda hope it works out cause the is substantially better and actually would have more time off while making more money. Just hoping it all works out for me. Still talking to the Big Man, praying he allows me to advance in my career. Take care all.
Rick
Zapman
PF, good to hear from you. Take it from me, The Big Man as you call it wants you to advance your career and will guide and help you along the way. Prosperity is part of a good attitude and a good Spiritual outlook. Hang in there. You will probably get more than one option, like when it rains, it pours.
I am finally testing "negative" on the home test strips but my second line is weak. It took about 70 days. I'll check again in a couple more weeks, closer to 90 days. I expect the second line to get BOLD soon. I also know something good is happening as my last visit with my PO was over in a flash with no comments from her. As I told Pat when I came out......"when it comes to meeting with your PO, no news is good news" They are mainly interested in dinging you on something and with nothing to ding. they don't have a thing.
Counseling is going well too. I am already getting cut back to every other week for one-on -one. Group is always interesting as almost everyone is in bad shit compared to me. Lots of DUIs and DUI court is tough but necessary. They get UA tested at least four times a week. I am about once a week. They also get to do "30 in 30" which is 30 AA meetings in 30 days! What a drag that would be. My counselor has finally stopped pushing me to do AA meetings as I am doing good without them. I also told him my "sponsors" are the real deal in that none of them do nicotine. Almost all those AA folks smoke cigs like crazy. What an irony that is!
My community service is also coming together soon. Looks like I will be doing some "outreach" for the local low income non-profit health clinic in Coeur d'Alene, Heritage Health. They are going to be contacting over 6000 current patients(they have 15,000 total) about signing up for the ACA(Obamacare). That one is right down my line since I am such a liberal socialist type old hippy and love to talk alot.
Also talked with my urologist today about my prostate biopsy done right before Christmas. Pretty good news in that I go back in 6 months for another exam and biopsy and do not have prostate cancer. I am in a high risk group though with a diagnosis of "HGPIN". We have already started a real change in diet and will continue doing that to a greater degree. Oatmeal almost every morning, less fat, more fruits and veges and more soy. Asians have almost zero prostate cancer as a group, mainly because of all the soy they eat.
Doing great with clean and sober. That part of our life change is much easier than I ever imagined. It really helps to have my wonderful bride of almost 50 years going right along with me. Another example of one of my favorites...."you are stronger than you THINK you are".
I am finally testing "negative" on the home test strips but my second line is weak. It took about 70 days. I'll check again in a couple more weeks, closer to 90 days. I expect the second line to get BOLD soon. I also know something good is happening as my last visit with my PO was over in a flash with no comments from her. As I told Pat when I came out......"when it comes to meeting with your PO, no news is good news" They are mainly interested in dinging you on something and with nothing to ding. they don't have a thing.
Counseling is going well too. I am already getting cut back to every other week for one-on -one. Group is always interesting as almost everyone is in bad shit compared to me. Lots of DUIs and DUI court is tough but necessary. They get UA tested at least four times a week. I am about once a week. They also get to do "30 in 30" which is 30 AA meetings in 30 days! What a drag that would be. My counselor has finally stopped pushing me to do AA meetings as I am doing good without them. I also told him my "sponsors" are the real deal in that none of them do nicotine. Almost all those AA folks smoke cigs like crazy. What an irony that is!
My community service is also coming together soon. Looks like I will be doing some "outreach" for the local low income non-profit health clinic in Coeur d'Alene, Heritage Health. They are going to be contacting over 6000 current patients(they have 15,000 total) about signing up for the ACA(Obamacare). That one is right down my line since I am such a liberal socialist type old hippy and love to talk alot.
Also talked with my urologist today about my prostate biopsy done right before Christmas. Pretty good news in that I go back in 6 months for another exam and biopsy and do not have prostate cancer. I am in a high risk group though with a diagnosis of "HGPIN". We have already started a real change in diet and will continue doing that to a greater degree. Oatmeal almost every morning, less fat, more fruits and veges and more soy. Asians have almost zero prostate cancer as a group, mainly because of all the soy they eat.
Doing great with clean and sober. That part of our life change is much easier than I ever imagined. It really helps to have my wonderful bride of almost 50 years going right along with me. Another example of one of my favorites...."you are stronger than you THINK you are".
Rick
Zapman
Just bored with winter around here.
I made a new restaurant about 30 feet from the front door with an extra 500 lb bale we had stashed. These girls and guys were hurting with the late snow covering their regular munching ground. For those who are not sure, these are Elk. Just a few of the regular crowd that stay all night now.
Life is tough these days.
I made a new restaurant about 30 feet from the front door with an extra 500 lb bale we had stashed. These girls and guys were hurting with the late snow covering their regular munching ground. For those who are not sure, these are Elk. Just a few of the regular crowd that stay all night now.
Life is tough these days.
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
Is that papa on the left standing guard, lol?
Good to see pics of Zapville again.
Good to see pics of Zapville again.
iVapeTooMuch
Oh I Member
I was put on probation about 8 months ago. I was required to go to drug counseling and I chose to go to Marijuana Anonymous (MA). One of the few things that I learned there that significantly helped was telling yourself, "I'm not going to smoke right now at this moment, but I can't speak for myself during the next moment." You can always chose to go back to consuming after you're done with all your legal troubles. It really helped.
Another significant idea was to have a "higher power." Whether it be God, Allah, nature, or even simply the cup you pee in for testing, a higher power really helps. My higher power was energy.
I'm not sure how relevant this information is to you, but it surely helped me out in my times of need. Now, 8 months later with 4 months to go, I'm still going strong. I thought of this experience both as a tolerance break and to get my life together. Both have worked out so far.
Another significant idea was to have a "higher power." Whether it be God, Allah, nature, or even simply the cup you pee in for testing, a higher power really helps. My higher power was energy.
I'm not sure how relevant this information is to you, but it surely helped me out in my times of need. Now, 8 months later with 4 months to go, I'm still going strong. I thought of this experience both as a tolerance break and to get my life together. Both have worked out so far.
Maine420
GROOVY GRANNY
And just think about that first time you VAPE after you get off probation...it will be glorious!
ted_vagina
Member
