Such good stuff. Thank you Vitolo and Steele Concept. It is very helpful to get tangible solutions to help us through our changed life. Not to mention some compliments about our past life.
Our life sure is changing too. Day by day, one day at a time. Please excuse some repetition but some of the changes are so intense, I cannot help but repeat them.
One is "out of self". I am feeling and acting much less selfish than the old days. We all tend to be that way....me, me, me. Who knows what starts it...childhood, culture, ego, being part of the Oneness greater than us. I never gave it much thought as my past life has been pretty smooth. I could BS my way out of situations and things smooth over or more likely get forgotten. Marijuana is good for that as it allows us to ...."oh well, whatever......Let it go....smile and hug and laugh". Surely that is better than get mad and argue and maybe get mean and angry like happens much more often with alcohol than MJ. But we still often leave communication dangling with no finish. Real communication is so cool. I'm OK, you're OK but we have differences that often do not get resolved. We are all so different yet so much alike. We all want to be accepted and loved and not hurt but often we ourselves do not do that so we "get what we give". I am finding myself telling Pat so much more that I love her and I never want to hurt her because she will react to me as though I am hurting her. I could ramble on and on about so much that is going through me these days which would be a bore for most folks so instead I will try to do it in outline form. We are well on our way now with no MJ and no booze. I want to say "several" weeks but it is just several days more than two weeks. Simple statements, short and sweet.
1. Surely getting closer to that 'Thing' I have always loved. Call it God, Universe, Master Flow or whatever IT is that is greater than us. I feel much more connected as does Pat. That enhanced connection is the real biggee that leads to so much else that is good. What follows is related to numero uno.
2. I want to give to my family, friends and especially grand kids so much more than in the past. My grandsons mother is the one who 'did this' to us a year and a half ago. She is having some real tough times which are all her doing. Her two boys still living with her are suffering. They have no home of their own because she has no home. She is capable of changing that but for some reason keeps in the same rut of relying on her family that cannot say no to her. So they live in chaos and confusion every day. Today I had a short but very real chat with Mike about the subject offering to help in any way we can. It could mean our sweet life will be interrupted much more and our little money will go faster but those boys need help. In the past, we let it go, mainly because mother would never, ever allow sons 2&3 to live with Mike. Son 1, Riley, now 13, has been with Mike for 4 years and is doing fine. Less selfish on our part, a very good thing. We will not and cannot go through the court system for this change but we will try our best which is all we can do.
3. Thankfulness. I have always been that way but it is growing day by day about everything and everybody. Resentment is the opposite of thankfulness. You cannot have them both at the same time. Resentment is a killer of our soul as it takes us out of our Eternal Now Moment. We go out of today to be resentful. Today is all we have.
4. Cop out words are popping out. Kinda, maybe, could be, try, etc. We need to try to eliminate those words from our vocabulary as they give us an out. We need to be more definite with our words so that we will do things or not do things, period.
5. No problem with stopping MJ or booze.........I want to say yet but yet is another cop out word as it leaves the future open for failure.
6. Expectations. Do not expect failure or negativity, period. Know that the Universe or whatever you call it will give you the strength to deal with those issues if they happen. This relates to "thoughts are things". Expect positive, love, good. That is the best way to experience life IMO.
7. Know that your connection to whatever IT is is very real. God is and we all are a part of that. We are directly connected to something greater than us. We have to know that though. We cannot just act like it and give it lip service. We have to know it with all our heart, mind and soul.
8. You are stronger than you THINK you are. If you have doubts and are not sure about solving problems in your life, relationships, etc, you really are stronger than that if you give it a chance.
9. Life is the Book of Changes. Embrace that reality. We get caught up in our ruts and they are comfy so change is difficult sometimes.
General......Another chronicle about dreams to come later. Lets just say two nights ago I slept 12 hours with only two pee breaks. The last two hours were absolutely unreal, similar to lwiens Italian car dream. It was almost a nightmare but not really. It was so real that it took me a few seconds after waking up to realize it was a dream. So real but still crazy. I came downstairs and asked Pat..."are we still OK??????" I cried and cried in the dream and after I woke up. Gotta be good for me. My daughter in law said the dreams in a heavy long sleep are very hard to get out of.
Also, with no booze I can smell it like a hound dog(or would that be a probation officer?) She came to our place yesterday BTW and we were in town. Luckily Mike was home and zipped over to let her in and make her call. Had to use our land line as all the fancy telecommunication equipment she packed would not work here in our boonies........"411.....in progress, etc". They have to do that because so many of their 'clients' are really bad people. They never know. She looked around a little and said she would be back........."You are welcome any time Monica".............
Still doing great and loving every minute. Sometimes in the evening I get a little down without my old friends but that is rare. I have always been able to "sleep it off" as my Dad would do.
Mo later. Gotta feed my Bovines and get ready for 42 degrees going to 10 degrees in about one day.
Thanks so much for the help. FC is a great forum doing so much good for so many people.
. Your Zap was my re-entry into vaporization and FC. I purchased 3 zaps/CRZ for myself and my loved ones - they all got good use! I am an MMJ patient and have used your zap through some rough times where it seemed my world was caving in. I suffer from Ulcerative Colitis (similar to Crohns) and the zap has definitely provided some relief at times when the suffering was at it's greatest and we all thought I would have to get my large intestine removed.
