Birthday Parties

[JCat]

How does everyone feel about Birthday parties? I used to enjoy my Birthday parties, back when I drank, have a bunch of people over and have a party.

Now that I don't drink, and that I'm older, I really don't like them at all. It has nothing to do with age except that I don't drink anymore and I used to use alcohol as a way to feel comfortable in social situations (one of many things I used it for)

So ... I find them quite uncomfortable. I don't like social situations with more than a few people, and I especially don't like being anywhere near the center of attention. Also, these are family parties I am referring to so everyone is drinking except me and the kids. (I'm the only cannabis user)

I'd personally much rather have a small supper with just my wife and kids and go see a movie or something but instead am going to have to go to a party or have a party (one way or the other as my Dad's birthday is 4 days earlier than mine) with a bunch of people. Not my idea of fun at all.

I'm going to a birthday party for me where I'm the only one that doesn't want to be there.

Sigh. But how do you tell your parents and parents-in-law that you would rather not celebrate? I also have a lot of guilt over things that have happened in my life--some partially or all my fault, and some not--so don't really feel like I deserve a party. (I know this isn't true but I can't control my internal dialog very well most of the time so truth matters little sometimes in the reality in my mind--just knowing something is true logically doesn't change the way you feel ...)

 

[hinglemccringleberry]

I feel ya. Now that I'm older and not single I feel this way about parties in general. If I go to one it's for a specific event or celebration of something but not just to party. Partying just to party is for suckers and college kids (IMHO of course). Alot of it is my relationship status, I just don't see the point in going out and getting drunk if I'm not trying to lay pipe on the honeys.

 

[vaporist4LIFE]

Lol laying the pipe...exquisitely put
I'm not old , by society standards , young in fact .I haven't drank alcohol in almost 2 and half years .not a fan of big parties either .

 

[SD_haze]

I haven't posted in a while but I just saw this post and today actually is my birthday. Haha joined FC I was 17 and now turning a quarter century. Still young I know.

@JCat
I also do not like medium-large birthday parties for myself. I told my family what I wanted - just dinner with 2 parents, girlfriend, and my best friend. Fogo de Chão to be specific

I say life is too short to not regret telling your close ones how YOU want to celebrate YOUR birthday. Especially if you just want to spend it intimately with just your closest family. But hey, you could always compromise and ask for that the next day.

 

[JCat]

Happy Birthday @SD_haze ! My wife knows that I don't want a party, but her response to that is simply that her parents and mine will want to do something (which I know ... so I'm either leaving her or me to explain this to them, that I really don't want to do anything, or going with the flow).

It would be easy enough going with the flow, but as I play that situation over in my head, it never goes smoothly. For example, if I celebrate my birthday w/ my father and uncle (they're twins), on Friday, they'll have friends over as well, and then I'll get all kinds of questions (interrogation) why I don't want the Black Forrest cake (which is loaded with uncooked alcohol), especially if it's my birthday cake as well. So this really doesn't work.

Alternative would be to have both my parents and my wife's over on my actual Birthday, or anytime next week for example, but that doesn't work because my kids have stuff every night and there just isn't the time to have everyone over for supper.

So the logical conclusion is to just not celebrate it to me. At least not in the way my family wants me to. I don't really want to have a party so everyone else can celebrate my birthday ... which I suppose is kinda' selfish, but I don't know ... it's not about them. It's about me and what I want. I've been through a lot over the last # of years and almost every day is a struggle for me ... just finding the energy to spend time w/ my kids and wife and to get my job somewhat done so I can support them really doesn't leave me with much left ... (or alternately, in the opposite end of my cycle, I have so much energy I don't know what to do with it and making good, logical, sensible decisions becomes close to impossible--at least in these parts of my cycle my job is slightly easier, although since knocking out the alcohol, even this is tough as keeping my mind slowed down enough is tough. Cannabis helps, pharmaceuticals help, but alcohol helps more ... but also fucks everything else up so not worth it ...)

Anyways ... kinda' got rambling off topic!

 

[Stu]

First of all, Happy b-day @SD_haze and @JCat.

I had the discussion long ago with my family that parties are a no-go for me and I just want to relax on my own terms to commemorate my latest lap around the sun. Thankfully they've respected that and they let me enjoy my birthdays in peace. I know some people that plan for months on their own birthday parties which I don't understand at all, so clearly we are all different.

It's your day, so enjoy it I say. However you want to.

Fogo de Chão to be specific

Great choice! Divirta-se.

 

[crawdad]

ya, i started doing my own thing and didnt throw parties anymore or have them done for me many moons ago. would say something along the lines of "no, thats ok...this year im gonna do X or Y over in Z with the wife and kids" kind of deal, which was honest mind you. it's turned into a sort of tradition now for each of us in the house to have a handful of things we typically choose from when celebrating bdays and some of the holidays, ya know things we actually LIKE to do...on occasion we do a party, but its not routine. i also do not drink as much as i used to but i think that has to do with age (for me at least)...my blackout days are in the past.

 

[TeeJay1952]

I don't celebrate days I celebrate Life!
No one day is deserving of more attention than any other. I like to look forward and not back.