Aspergers....You sneaky fuck!

[Xchadb]

Just outa curiosity, i took a few tests for autism, i scored above average. (more autistic than average)

Lots of my co-workers tell me to look into Aspergers Syndrome.

My fiance' has no idea what AS, she read the wiki on it, said she thinks it explains me to a fucking T! I also thought this....thats why i sent her the wiki in the first place, just saying "hey read this" got quite the reaction.

My mom's been told ive needed special education so many times when i was younger, thus homeschooled my whole life (besides highschool)

doctors have perscribed me every ADD\ADHD fuckn perscription there is, took one of each, threw em all away (was around when i was 14-16yearsold, im 22 now) they made me feel fucking stupid, i was interested in STUPID ASS SHIT. FUCK THAT.

Ive always had fucked up metabolism and appetite and weight issues, so i got my MMJ card last year. Ive always just considered myself extreemley introverted, or just a little "weird" ya know?
Little did i know that MMJ was not only helping me eat, but it helped me with my AS symptoms aswell....huge lack of empathy, socialization ect...

as SOME of you know, im currently a sober boner, yea.....just made that up, cause im bummed that im always sober now and mmj is not in my life anymore

but being sober helped me see that yeah, i do have a problem, if i was just medicating all the time id of never been able to seek it out and finally have an ANSWER!


Now that i sit down an see all these symptoms and problems its creating in my life, its time to change, at first thought....its like damn MMJ would be PERFECT for all these problems... not really i just feel everytime i medicate for those reasons it just makes them go away for a while....

why the fuck not just solve them instead of medicating?



some things will never be solved and just forever nuerologically wired into my brain and it will never change.

when i medicate it makes me feel like a normal person, rather than an autistic person, that's why i had become so accustomed to it, i cant fucking go around everyday doing that shit tho.....(like i used to), playing with my own mind between whats real and isn't, the times when i was medicated its so fucking surreal its like when you had such a vivid dream it became a false memory.


so in my long sober break when the fires started up here in CO, ive learened so much, and mmj has taught me SO MUCH that i will never forget, but i feel ive reaped its benefits, and now thier's nothing left for me thats solving anything, that part is up to ME.

THC will NEVER completely exit my life, i still medicate once every few weeks at night before bed, if i medicate then go on with a day off, it just causes a lot of problems, like not depression...but once the high comes down, i just feel bummed the fuck out, like why cant my life just be normal...ALL THE TIME?

Now that the tolerance is GONE, 1 or 3 puffs from the omi with some super crit c02 oil and it has me medicated for HOURS, during that time i go nuts over music....just music i dunno i just respond to that kind of stimuli best, as long as i go to bed before my high comes down...its all okay, the next day i feel great....no depression or comedown or meaningless feeling ya know?

-is that doing anything for aspergers? fuck no. am i happy as shit? fuck yeah.
-is MMJ helping my AS then? fuck no.
--then why should i use mmj to treat AS? i shouldn't be.


MMJ has already treated some symptoms of my AS that i dont need to be medicated to benefit from, so with that being said, ive taken what i needed from MMJ and i shall take that and RUN.

Im a weird motherfucker and i love it! i plan to keep it that way




Redcard forfeited, firearms now returned (fuck you ATF)
Im now an OFFICIAL recreational user.

 

[OhTheAgony]

Nothing wrong with a little weirdness, it's what keeps this place (earth) interesting imo

 

[Abysmal Vapor]

Weirdness is disease of those who assume they weird and it is a problem .. and is a bless for those who enjoy it !
I know that it is not related .. but i have a friend who is a math and computer genius.. but was an epileptic till he discovered MJ..
When we were children everyone was damn cruel for him cuz they hadnt understanding for his disease.. He was doped with benzodiazepines and anticoagulants and could not even solve his homework in basic math.. Well.. he got sick of all the pills and hit the pipe with me one day..
Since than he havent had a single collapse (epileptic shock). He started with school matter at the age of 17 and manage to get two degrees one in math and programing LOL.. and he was assumed to be brain damaged.. like the local stupido... or smth..
In the Greek mythology epileptics are described as a people whom the moon gave bigger powers than they can handle... and thats why their bodies are reefed by the might..
So my point is.. May be your "weirdeness "is a gift, that makes you experience unique point of view.. and get out of the box ideas . Maybe it is just too much power that you need to learn how to control and make it produce for you and the world !

 

[Xchadb]

It really is just like that, it has always benefited me, because im eccentric as fuck....like nothing goes unnoticed, always striving for things to be perfect or do things the way i like to do em, and as some of you know i just enjoy coloring outside the lines cause i get sick of doing everything else that that everyone enjoys.

just sucks when it gets in the way of your job\relationship, people dont understand ya know?


if it wasn't for me being this way, wouldn't of produced such fun videos and made all the crazy vape contraptions ive ever made hahaha

 

[diebodie]

I love weird to a certain limit.. it keeps things interesting. The best girlfriend i ever had was bi-polar, maniac, and weird as shit.. never a dull moment! (think kat from weeds)

As for assburgers, not to dicredit the disease, but from what i read the symptoms are so vague and applicable to anyone, it's hugely over diagnosed.. I would see a real psychiatrist if you're curious and take a full DSM-IV.. I'd also look into meditation. Meditation is dicipline and with mental discipline you can ''train' your mind.. I'm in the process of trying to eliminate all the negative thoughts.. Every-time my mind veers towards extreme cynicism ( 30 times a day, easy), i immediately concentrate on something else.. Only on week two of this, and it take a crap tonne of mental self awareness but I'm pretty sure it's starting to work.. Sorry for rambling, hopefully this makes sense :420

Oh and like pedobear said, weirdness is just an offshoot of creativity.. I bet people like Pendleton Ward are weird, but they also create some of the most vivid and imaginative entertainment. period. Don't be bummed out, use whatever you've got to your advantage. Go out there and create something!

 

[Seek]

...not to dicredit the disease, but from what i read the symptoms are so vague and applicable to anyone, it's hugely over diagnosed...

I think it's not overdiagnosed, more like the opposite, that there are many true Asperger's that were never diagnosed. I think I might be one. And the symptoms are not applicable to anyone. I don't know personally anyone that could fit these symptoms other than me. The symptoms can sound vague and in comparision with some serious conditions it actually isn't that serious or needing treatment. But it still impairs a person in a many deep ways.
As for me, I've always been "weird" in many ways. Still have underweight problems which I think originate from my oversensitive senses including overamplified sense of beign full/hungry and inability to predict these feelings. And these tastes. I eat only simple food as complex mixtures fuck with my mind and it starts urge to puke in me. Also certains foods/textures make me want to puke sometimes just when I look at it or put it in my mouth. I've always had weird and clumsy motor skills. Poor socials skills like initiating and participating in conversations. I never know how to start a converstation or when to start talking. Can't catch the dialogue flow with others. Mostly when I talk, it's just monologue or answering questions. And 90% of times I start speaking too quietly or too loudly according to situation. Eye contact is only when demanded and means nothing to me. If other people read something from eyes or gestures I don't see it. It's like my subconsciousness is underdeveloped. And thus I aslo have to consciously do all that primitive shit that subconsciousness normally takes care of like filtering sensory input, sorting it to objects and locating these I want. I have very narrow interests (about which I am able to research everything about) and am extremely introversive - wanting just to be alone all the time. Presence of other people is exhausting me and I feel anxious. Texting is something different, it takes all these things out of the game. I think I've written just here more words than I've said in my real life. There are also other conditions commonly coexisting with Asperger's. I think I could have very mild case of everytning. Mild ADHD, mild OCD, mild tics, mild SPD. Whatever condition I have (I am quite certain it's asperger's) it seems hard-wired in my brain, affecting me deeply making me weird, inappropriate and unsocial. Even when I have 130+ IQ. MJ makes me feel good, but hasn't ever cured a single symptom. I think of myself as recreational user. Feeling good makes me motivated to cope with what I am.

 

[Xchadb]

I think it's not overdiagnosed, more like the opposite, that there are many true Asperger's that were never diagnosed.

Well said.

Seek, its almost creepy to read all of that....and knowing thats almost just like me...and i NEVER meet anyone id ever say "hey yea, reminds me a lot of myself"

even the food texture and appetite problems, spot on.

so tired of everyones bullshit expectation of a "normal" person and being shunned for it. Maybe i don't wana eye contact with you, maybe i dont wana go to your fucking party, maybe i dont wana shake your god damn hand, maybe i dont wana eat your shitty potluck food, see your stupid facebook pictures. If i didn't have the option then why'd tha fuck did ya ask?

 

[Vapie]

Stop thinking of it as weird and use it to your advantage. I have mild Aspergers and am able to learn things very quickly, like programming. After just a few years I'm at a level beyond most advanced web developers. I get to go speak at conferences and work freelance for myself, cause I'm a fuckin badass.

You really have to enjoy it though.. find your passion and flourish.

I'm also older and can probably control it better as I realize talking with people and not being socially awkward is a key to success with this. I find getting out and being social is a part/full-time job.

If I stay inside and work too much without interaction, I can start to revert a little bit. I find that I need to consistently immerse myself.. even if its just sitting at Starbucks with my laptop.

The simple action of being around people helps.

 

[Xchadb]

yea, im a barber

talking to all kinds of people all day really helps me out a lot!

 

[JCat]

I'm bipolar ... and although it causes a lot of problems ... I wouldn't want to be a different person, then I wouldn't be me. With MJ I'm still me, just I'm more comfortable in my own skin and can make it through each moment and in to the next regardless of if I'm moving at 1000 miles an hour on a manic stint or whether I'm deeply depressed because I pushed it too hard at the manic end.

Your greatest qualities are often also your greatest weaknesses. Embrace them and try to take advantage of what they offer, and just try to mitigate the negative

 

[mister_orange]

Though this is no way medical advice, I seriously doubt you have AS. The reason being: your typed speech. To me, it seems to describe a healthy, normal span of emotions and feelings. Perhaps you have some other condition; I really don't know why you believe you have AS, besides your claim that you have been told you are deviant or eccentric, "different, weird."

People with AS are generally "flat" in breadth of their emotional and feeling spectrum, lack social skills ... have "weird" repetitive behaviors ...

Again, this is not medical advice.

Just outa curiosity, i took a few tests for autism, i ...

Redcard forfeited, firearms now returned (fuck you ATF)
Im now an OFFICIAL recreational user.

 

[Seek]

Aspergers can write and talk, most prefer writing (although handwriting looks usually somewhat "childish" ugly, not the case on the internet). IMO writing seems more natural for autists and so they can get good at it, better than speech that is impaired on so many levels (and not so much in aspergers, one difference is that aspergers can talk quite normally). If one can type coherently it can only imply he isn't psychotic at the moment or doesn't have severe autism or something.

 

[Xchadb]

just a bump in this thread, after seeking professional help, i was diagnosed with social anxiety and a non-verbal learning disorder, turns out with those combined my psychotherapist said i seemed pretty close to someone with AS but i just didnt meet a few of the criteria of it, therefore diagnosing me with the previous two.

 

[Steele Concept]

I have friends with social anxiety and friends with various learning disorders. Theres not really any such thing as "normal" and society loves labels. That being said I'm glad your docs provided some insight as to why you may differ a bit from the "normal" population.

I also know people with autism or aspergers. With AS + Social Anxiety I could see how that could resemble what you were diagnosed with.

Embrace your differences as it makes you unique! Take er easy man.

 

[Xchadb]

yeah things have changed a lot, everyone at work is ok with me medicating all the time, and they actually prefer it, because im more outgoing haha shit's just working out great

 

[Steele Concept]

Hehehe I see you live in Colorado, if they had a problem with you medicating, I think your state would have a problem with them . I'd like to go to Colorado sometime, I've never been.

 

[Jeppy]

Wow. I don't think you sound like an individual with Aspergers. I'm glad a mental health specialist helped you realize that. I'm especially glad you're on course!

 

[Cereal_MF]

Its good you verified that you don't have AS dude. I also suffer from social anxiety of all sorts, gettin' "jelly" and what not...and from what I've found, social anxiety only makes itself worse, building itself up to the point where you start to question if you've been this way all along... but the truth is you probably haven't. This is what I'm going through atleast, and I should probably seek some help (a counselor/therapist setting) rather than trying to take it all on by myself. I never even considered the possibility of having AS until my anxiety got bad to the point where it totally changed the way I act even around people who I'm pretty close to. In reality I know that I probably dont have it, even though I probably do have more autistic tendencies than some people.. but its really the social anxiety that fucks everything up!