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Here's one to keep in mind for Remembrance Day. Also you might be cool, but you are not as cool as a beach party with the Animals.

My girlfriend said she was breaking up with me because I was too "un-American". I saw it coming a kilometer away.

A horse walks into a ber... The bartender says, "You're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence. See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am". I could...

I've been listening to the Hokum High Rollers play this for years, but never heard the original until just now! Imo both great. Bear with me now, I also like this take on one of my favourites from the men of Canned Heat:

https://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-3571-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII/