Joke thread
- Thread starter Purple-Days
- Start date
The Stray Fox
Separated from the group
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
A horse walks into a ber...
The bartender says, "You're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence.
See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am".
I could have mentioned that at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
The bartender says, "You're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence.
See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am".
I could have mentioned that at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
Taz German
Prall durch's All!
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
My girlfriend said she was breaking up with me because I was too "un-American".
I saw it coming a kilometer away.
I saw it coming a kilometer away.
Taz German
Prall durch's All!
florduh
Well-Known Member
fewer and fewer people are accumulating more and more money which means only one thing: the great majority of people are becoming lazier over time and like 50 billionaires are the only ones who work hard
-InternetHippo
-InternetHippo
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
3l3tric
TM2 PH and Tiodw Plus 2.0 cured my VAS
A personal favorite of mine that I don't think has been posted yet:
A man becomes disillusioned with his life and decides to join a monastery. Now, mind you, this was the Medieval era, and at this monastery the monks would spend hours upon hours each day diligently hand-writing new copies of the Bible. Every day, they would each hand write one copy, front to back, using one of the previous day's copies as a reference.
This continued for many weeks, but eventually, a concerning thought occurred to our new monk, which he raised with the head monk:
"Father, are you concerned for the limitations of making each of our sacred texts off a copy from the previous day?"
"Now, son, why would this be concerning?"
"I mean not to accuse any of my brothers of anything, but if, heaven forbid, one of the previous day's copies were to contain a mistake, that error would end up getting into each of the next day's copies, and so on."
The head monk spent a moment deep in thought, then sighed, and continued. "...You do have a point. I will take one of today's copies down to the catacombs, and compare it against the original we have sealed in a vault there."
So the head monk went off, and the other monks continued their work in earnest.
The next day, the head monk still had not returned, but the remaining monks did not worry. Given the length of the text, surely he just needed more time to ensure perfect accuracy.
A few more days passed, and while a couple of the monks grew concerned, the majority of them suspected there were a significant number of errors that needed correcting, which was drawing out the head monk's time.
Finally, after nearly a fortnight had passed, the newest monk to the order was sent into the catacombs to investigate the delay. As he approached the vault where the master copy of the Bible was held, he saw the head monk crumpled on his knees, sobbing pitifully, obviously having been in this defeated position for hours, if not days. Cautiously, he approached, and asked:
"Father, what happened? Is something wrong?"
To which the head monk weakly gazed up, and despondently said:
"'Celebrate'... This whole time, the word was 'Celebrate'"
A man becomes disillusioned with his life and decides to join a monastery. Now, mind you, this was the Medieval era, and at this monastery the monks would spend hours upon hours each day diligently hand-writing new copies of the Bible. Every day, they would each hand write one copy, front to back, using one of the previous day's copies as a reference.
This continued for many weeks, but eventually, a concerning thought occurred to our new monk, which he raised with the head monk:
"Father, are you concerned for the limitations of making each of our sacred texts off a copy from the previous day?"
"Now, son, why would this be concerning?"
"I mean not to accuse any of my brothers of anything, but if, heaven forbid, one of the previous day's copies were to contain a mistake, that error would end up getting into each of the next day's copies, and so on."
The head monk spent a moment deep in thought, then sighed, and continued. "...You do have a point. I will take one of today's copies down to the catacombs, and compare it against the original we have sealed in a vault there."
So the head monk went off, and the other monks continued their work in earnest.
The next day, the head monk still had not returned, but the remaining monks did not worry. Given the length of the text, surely he just needed more time to ensure perfect accuracy.
A few more days passed, and while a couple of the monks grew concerned, the majority of them suspected there were a significant number of errors that needed correcting, which was drawing out the head monk's time.
Finally, after nearly a fortnight had passed, the newest monk to the order was sent into the catacombs to investigate the delay. As he approached the vault where the master copy of the Bible was held, he saw the head monk crumpled on his knees, sobbing pitifully, obviously having been in this defeated position for hours, if not days. Cautiously, he approached, and asked:
"Father, what happened? Is something wrong?"
To which the head monk weakly gazed up, and despondently said:
"'Celebrate'... This whole time, the word was 'Celebrate'"
