If your female is 14mm, you should be able to just use one of the female adapters and then get a seal by just sticking the tube right in to your piece - I do it. If it's 18mm, this might not work, although I do have an 18mm bong that it seals, but it has to be pushed in pretty far to where the...
The Evolve Plus atty only works in wattage mode. I forget the rated wattage for the coils, but I run mine anywhere between 10W-15W. Start low and work your way up to find your sweet spot.
After I air dry a few hours, when I put them in the EVO on max for a burn-off, I see some wispy vapor rising out of the ELB's for about 10 seconds or so, which I can only assume is ISO or distilled water absorbed in the mesh that hadn't evaporated yet.
What temp are you using?
Hitting "hard" is obviously subjective, but I also have to hit it pretty hard to get thick vapor, especially on the lower temps, but not so much that it strains my lungs or anything like that.
You can push the higher temps without combusting by packing loosely, inhaling fast and making sure there's nothing blocking the air intake on the bottom. I'm at 3 o'clock 90% of the time.