hi and hello to all elders lately i was wondering with myself what would be my definition of being mentally dependable on "herbs", and also, maybe even more interesting, what is the difference between using the herbs to pass the time and for different hobbies, and using them for more creative artistic environment. just to be clear: the discussion is for using herbs to get high and creative. not as a medicine for pain, which obviously has to be taken to live properly. about myself, i am kind of an artist, mainly musician, and i'm having 2-3 evenings a week using Cannabis, mainly to help a bit with my focus and creativity. this definitely a good thing, which really makes me getting many different ideas and angles i would probably dismiss otherwise, or regard them with too much criticism, etc. the thing is, i am a bit on the depressive side, regarding my life mostly as a failure, and at 43, trying to work my way into looking at things differently. so when i'm under the influence (very light session is enough for me), i feel i can dive into my own "playground", and do my stuff, enjoy and escape from the harshness of living. that brings me into the whole mental addiction thing. when i feel medicated, it's like a sort of bliss, a breath of magic air, being a child, and all that. as a sensitive and too much of a thinker, i immediately feel the "consequences" the day after. the brain wants it again, moodiness.. symptoms of mental dependency that i recognize and prefer to avoid. so i wanted to hear your thoughts on this kind of delicate struggle, that prevents me form just being medicated at least every evening. you may ask why - why won't you just let loose and be medicated all the time? well, because it's depressing! that's why. it's a magic world that invites you in and basically you poison your brain with the herbs, and i KNOW it's not the way i wanna live daily. so feel free to discuss your angle on the subject. thanks!