brandonflav
mastermind behind the great Vapor Caper
And, I've missed you. 
Its been far too long my friends. Been perusing and I feel silly for forgetting how fantastic of a community we have. This is the only forum I've ever come across where I want to come back; where I am actually enthralled by the points of conversation and even the goofy things feel of genuine worth.
I was gone for so long taking care of things I had mislead myself to be important. As much as I hate that it took me so long to re-realize I was filling my time with bullshit and the desires of others, I'm happy to be back trying to better myself. The last few years I had been, as I now know it, wasting my time with a job I thought was a career. During that time my cannabis use was greatly decreased, not even on purpose, I just always felt too busy/rushed/tired. I went from using cannabis as a healthy tool to utilizing it as a way to stave off a breakdown one more day. I don't miss that. I was with a company that had me fooled into thinking they cared; they kept up the façade so well & for so long. What hurt the most was working with people above me who were nothing but smiles & handshakes; all while their other hand held a knife for my back. It didn't end well to say the least. It made me question a lot about myself, unfortunately it made me doubt & tear myself down. It was affecting my mental health & I had to leave. It was absolutely the best choice but when it went down it just reaffirmed how my hard work was a complete waste & how little I really meant. It made me break a bit harder & lost it for a bit. It was like I was some hard nosed, punk teenager again. I gave no fucks about anything; I went on a 2 week bender fueled by confusion, anger, & poor choices. In those 2 weeks I don't think I was sober for more than half an hour. Everyday I woke up in an unknown place. I did things I told myself I'd never do again, I was & am disappointed in myself. I'm now a month and a half removed from that garbage & finally starting to feel some normalcy. I've been working for myself which has felt nice. Even though concern/stress of money is now even more so an issue, I missed being my own boss.
To be honest the more I write & the longer this post gets I wonder why I am writing it & what the point to be. I guess I just really wanted somewhere to unload and rant, so my apologies.
TLDR: Carry on, no real point here. Ended up droning on much more so than I meant to. Just nice to hop back on here.
Its been far too long my friends. Been perusing and I feel silly for forgetting how fantastic of a community we have. This is the only forum I've ever come across where I want to come back; where I am actually enthralled by the points of conversation and even the goofy things feel of genuine worth.
I was gone for so long taking care of things I had mislead myself to be important. As much as I hate that it took me so long to re-realize I was filling my time with bullshit and the desires of others, I'm happy to be back trying to better myself. The last few years I had been, as I now know it, wasting my time with a job I thought was a career. During that time my cannabis use was greatly decreased, not even on purpose, I just always felt too busy/rushed/tired. I went from using cannabis as a healthy tool to utilizing it as a way to stave off a breakdown one more day. I don't miss that. I was with a company that had me fooled into thinking they cared; they kept up the façade so well & for so long. What hurt the most was working with people above me who were nothing but smiles & handshakes; all while their other hand held a knife for my back. It didn't end well to say the least. It made me question a lot about myself, unfortunately it made me doubt & tear myself down. It was affecting my mental health & I had to leave. It was absolutely the best choice but when it went down it just reaffirmed how my hard work was a complete waste & how little I really meant. It made me break a bit harder & lost it for a bit. It was like I was some hard nosed, punk teenager again. I gave no fucks about anything; I went on a 2 week bender fueled by confusion, anger, & poor choices. In those 2 weeks I don't think I was sober for more than half an hour. Everyday I woke up in an unknown place. I did things I told myself I'd never do again, I was & am disappointed in myself. I'm now a month and a half removed from that garbage & finally starting to feel some normalcy. I've been working for myself which has felt nice. Even though concern/stress of money is now even more so an issue, I missed being my own boss.
To be honest the more I write & the longer this post gets I wonder why I am writing it & what the point to be. I guess I just really wanted somewhere to unload and rant, so my apologies.
TLDR: Carry on, no real point here. Ended up droning on much more so than I meant to. Just nice to hop back on here.