Girlfriend doesn't know I smoke

[kevintech]

Do any of you have a significant other that doesn't know about your smoking? I have a gf who's against it but I LOVE hanging out with her when I'm high! Watching movies, baking desserts are just so much more fun!!

She even thinks my jokes are funnier when I'm high, but I'd never tell her that!

Are any of you in my shoes?

 

[audiodelic]

enjoy it while it lasts

 

[AGBeer]

You are one of the lucky ones.

My wife didnt know that I smoked for YEARS. She finally caught me one evening and flipped. Even though I have 'educated' her as much as she would let me, she is still pretty much against it.

My buddy had the same thing happen to him with his GF/Wife/Whateversheis.

I sold him a MZ and he thought she would be oblivious.
Too bad she has a buddy named Google.

 

[CombustionJunction]

Thankfully, my wife smokes as much as I do. I couldn't marry a girl that didn't.

 

[2clicker]

which one is more important?

silly question i know since you should be able to have both, but IMO you should tell her and accept the consequences. its going to be much less a pain in the ass in the long run.

of course there are all kinds of factors to take into consideration. how old are you? how long have you 2 been an item? kids? alot of the same friends? does she drink?

honestly though ive been keeping it a secret from many people for years and it sucks. no sense in bringing on unnecessary anxiety/stress if you can help it.

 

[Hippie Dickie]

I couldn't marry a girl that didn't.

me, too! also, honesty is the most important thing in any relationship that you want to go anywhere. (as well as good sex).

 

[SSS]

i hid it from my wife for years before i was able to get an mmj card. for some reason, the card gave legitimacy to mj in her eyes and she was able to accept it. she even gave me money to buy an ounce the other day.

 

[DevoTheStrange]

I think the longer she goes without knowing you do it, the more likely she will get mad at finding out you do. It is a pretty big secret, and more than likely will get you in more trouble for keeping it than you partaking in the MJ.
I had to warm my mother up to me using it by slowing introducing my thoughts on MJ to her and eventually just outright telling her.

 

[kevintech]

which one is more important?

silly question i know since you should be able to have both, but IMO you should tell her and accept the consequences. its going to be much less a pain in the ass in the long run.

of course there are all kinds of factors to take into consideration. how old are you? how long have you 2 been an item? kids? alot of the same friends? does she drink?

honestly though ive been keeping it a secret from many people for years and it sucks. no sense in bringing on unnecessary anxiety/stress if you can help it.

I'm turning 25 and she's turning 24. We've been dating for 8 years, and will most likely get married when we finish graduate school. No children yet. we know each other's friends but we don't really all hang out together.

i think you guys are right about telling her. its just i promised her i wouldnt do it again. I think it'd be easier to just lay it on her slowly? like bring it up more and more?

 

[kevintech]

I couldn't marry a girl that didn't.

me, too! also, honesty is the most important thing in any relationship that you want to go anywhere. (as well as good sex).

what do you mean want to go anywhere?

 

[Hippie Dickie]

what do you mean want to go anywhere?

sole (soul) committment, marriage, etc.

 

[stinkmeaner]

Wow I am surprised after 8 years you still have separate friends. I wouldn't really tell her that you have been smoking all along, that will just make you seem untrustworthy and most likely hurt her feelings that you kept it from her, no good will come of it.

Instead what you want to do is build up to it, say you have been getting headaches or whatever, tell her nothing works or helps, then tell her that you read that Cannabis is supposed to help with it, show her some studies to back things up. Maybe butter her up first with some weeks of Cannabis friendly movies or shows, make sure they are comedies so that it will seem less harmful and less negative.

 

[2clicker]

I wouldn't really tell her that you have been smoking all along, that will just make you seem untrustworthy and most likely hurt her feelings that you kept it from her, no good will come of it.

Instead what you want to do is build up to it, say you have been getting headaches or whatever, tell her nothing works or helps, then tell her that you read that Cannabis is supposed to help with it, show her some studies to back things up. Maybe butter her up first with some weeks of Cannabis friendly movies or shows, make sure they are comedies so that it will seem less harmful and less negative.

excellent advice. no need to say you have been doing it all along (how the fugg you get away with somethin like that for so long...?).

and if you do show her some movies make sure to include "The Union: The Business Behind Getting High". its chock full of everything you want her to know!

good luck

 

[kevintech]

Wow I am surprised after 8 years you still have separate friends. I wouldn't really tell her that you have been smoking all along, that will just make you seem untrustworthy and most likely hurt her feelings that you kept it from her, no good will come of it.

Instead what you want to do is build up to it, say you have been getting headaches or whatever, tell her nothing works or helps, then tell her that you read that Cannabis is supposed to help with it, show her some studies to back things up. Maybe butter her up first with some weeks of Cannabis friendly movies or shows, make sure they are comedies so that it will seem less harmful and less negative.

yeah its actually my fault that we have separate friends. slowly we are sharing the same network of friends, but ive just been too much of a jerk to join our circles together. i am learning as a bf everyday, and i am a LOT better to her now than I have been before.

and i haven't been smoking that long...i would only smoke if someone at a party had it or something. only this past summer did i start smoking on my own 3 or 4x a week. and to make up an excuse that i need it, she would most definitely make me see a doctor or something to prove that i need marijuana. we are both in healthcare so its really tough to get around the science of it all with her.

i dont htink she'll ever accept that i like to smoke. and she's said that i'm being really selfish if i would choose smoking over our 8 year relationship.

do you guys think its selfish to not want to give up smoking for her?

 

[Skunkypete]

do you guys think its selfish to not want to give up smoking for her?

Smoking yes , vaping no

 

[kevintech]

yes.... btw, i ONLY vape haha

 

[AGBeer]

Wow I am surprised after 8 years you still have separate friends. I wouldn't really tell her that you have been smoking all along, that will just make you seem untrustworthy and most likely hurt her feelings that you kept it from her, no good will come of it.

Instead what you want to do is build up to it, say you have been getting headaches or whatever, tell her nothing works or helps, then tell her that you read that Cannabis is supposed to help with it, show her some studies to back things up. Maybe butter her up first with some weeks of Cannabis friendly movies or shows, make sure they are comedies so that it will seem less harmful and less negative.

yeah its actually my fault that we have separate friends. slowly we are sharing the same network of friends, but ive just been too much of a jerk to join our circles together. i am learning as a bf everyday, and i am a LOT better to her now than I have been before.

and i haven't been smoking that long...i would only smoke if someone at a party had it or something. only this past summer did i start smoking on my own 3 or 4x a week. and to make up an excuse that i need it, she would most definitely make me see a doctor or something to prove that i need marijuana. we are both in healthcare so its really tough to get around the science of it all with her.

i dont htink she'll ever accept that i like to smoke. and she's said that i'm being really selfish if i would choose smoking over our 8 year relationship.

do you guys think its selfish to not want to give up smoking for her?

Science? Dude - you are BOTH in the health care field, I would figure that you all would be the first to acknowledge the medicinal characteristics of marijuana. (Our friggin bodies have CB1 and CB2 receptors all over)

What is her biggest problem with marijuana? Its a 'drug'? (Gee, you both work in an industry surrounded by drugs) Its 'illegal' - then this could be a discussion as to 'why' (come the fuck on now its a CLASS I SCHEDULE DRUG)

In fact, the majority of drugs that are used in your profession arent class I. Ironically, our sheriffs dept is now asking for access to the PD database to track possible 'abusers'. Why? Because the number of accidental deaths this year from prescription drugs (prescribed to them or not) was higher than the rate of homicides.

I could go on, but Im preaching to the choir here. You know the deal, I think educating her is key.

And 'selfish'? You are choosing smoking over her? Thats manipulative plain and simple. Im sorry, that part just kind of irked me right there. I dont deal too well with ultimatums. Perceived or not.

 

[Mckdenton]

Whenever I have begun a new relationship with a gal, I come out and say, straight up. "ima huge stoner, dont judge me." then explain how i am not the stereotypical get high no job no education loser stoner. I feel it's always better to let it be known right way.

Is it selfish to not want to give up smoking for her?
by definition I'd say yes, But it's all good you are the number one person in your life. Be happy

 

[Qbit]

Perhaps she's really the one being selfish here, for regarding her adherence old conventions and propaganda (and if she's a drinker, her hypocrisy) as more important than your personal choices. You can just reply that if she really loves you, she would try to understand rather than give you brick wall treatment. (You're not actually smoking either, so she needs to understand what vapourization is.)

It seems that you have a genuine appreciation for the herb, and maybe you'd just be lying to yourself (or her) if you said you would be happy to give it up. And if you give it up but not be happy about it, you'll always carry resentment about it, which will inevitably taint your relationship with her. Sorry, but it's true.

If you want to show her that you have a spine of your own and keep her respect, think about holding your ground with dignity, and insist that she learn to deal with it. If she can't, she's just not worth the trouble. No such girl (or guy) is.

I vape (and eat edibles) and I'm guilt free, and fucked if anyone's going to try to make me feel otherwise.

 

[shantytown007]

I like the historical argument- people have been consuming it, around the world, legally, for 6k+ years. It's only been illegal for the past 75 or so years.

Or the Nerf bat argument- MJ is the nerf of drugs- no matter how hard you hit, or how hard it hits you, it doesn't really do any damage. (while alcohol is more along the lines of an aluminum bat, Cocaine is a Spiked bat, Heroin a medieval mace, etc).

Definitely, definitely tell her before she finds out her own (She will). However bad you think it will be, it will be orders of magnitude worse if she finds out on her own (note: this also applies to eating the last of the Reese's ice cream w/o telling her, I have discovered).

Also, I'd recommend the 'Ive made a decision to vape' line- it makes it a yes or no re: you vs the 'I want to vape' line which makes it a yes or no re: vaping. Asking for acceptance vs asking for permission. Ok, rambling over- whatever you do- jewelry/flowers/date night work wonders

 

[2clicker]

do you guys think its selfish to not want to give up smoking for her?

not at all

tell her its selfish for her to not even try to accept it. its selfish if she wont listen to you when you try to explain the FACTS about it. ask her to do some research and show you proof of why its bad. she wont find anything because its not there.

others have posted some good stuff also

 

[kevintech]

Science? Dude - you are BOTH in the health care field, I would figure that you all would be the first to acknowledge the medicinal characteristics of marijuana. (Our friggin bodies have CB1 and CB2 receptors all over)

What is her biggest problem with marijuana? Its a 'drug'? (Gee, you both work in an industry surrounded by drugs) Its 'illegal' - then this could be a discussion as to 'why' (come the fuck on now its a CLASS I SCHEDULE DRUG)

In fact, the majority of drugs that are used in your profession arent class I. Ironically, our sheriffs dept is now asking for access to the PD database to track possible 'abusers'. Why? Because the number of accidental deaths this year from prescription drugs (prescribed to them or not) was higher than the rate of homicides.

I could go on, but Im preaching to the choir here. You know the deal, I think educating her is key.

And 'selfish'? You are choosing smoking over her? Thats manipulative plain and simple. Im sorry, that part just kind of irked me right there. I dont deal too well with ultimatums. Perceived or not.

yeah her biggest problem is that its an illegal drug. shes already iffy about my drinking alcohol socially. and since im pretty much a B- student in gradschool, she thinks i need all the brain cells i can keep.

whenever i try to talk to her about it, she ends up ending the argument saying "whatever if you dont love me enough to not smoke, then i don't see a future because i never intended to date a pothead"

and guess what, we're both pharmacy students! so you'd think we should know whats good and bad for our body.....sigh

 

[Qbit]

Get rid of her as fast as possible - and this is not about the herb. If that's how she forms her opinons, and if that's the way she's going to try to manipulate you, then it's certainly not going to be restricted to weed, even if you give it up. She will use the same logic and relationship techniques whenever anything else makes her a little nervous. She's your girlfriend, not your mother.

And you're considering marrying her? You'll be reduced to the ranks of the miserable whipped chump. Sorry to say but she's bad news, and you deserve way better. No pair of tittahs, no matter how plump and perky, are worth this.

Though maybe if you stick to your guns, she'll gradually shift her position and in time come to accept you as you are. If she really loves you, that is.

BTW, tell her you don't smoke - you vapourize. And then educate her on the matter.

 

[kevintech]

qbit...thanks for your post. its not that easy to get rid of an 8 year relationship though. we've been through way too much, and shes already forgiven me for cheating on her and she has done so much for me that the least i could do is give up "vaping" for her you know?


but then again its so hard to give up the good 'ole greeeeen

 

[Raf007]

MJ doesn't do any damage to your brain cell anyway... let her know that.
ImHe i have been a better student once i started to use MJ.

Ho, and I will never let down sweet Mary-Jane for another girl. It's a take or live it... I'm fed up dealing with obnoxious MJ uneducated people...although I am well aware they need education.
But THAT is really up to YOU.