Your best "I fucked up story" before the age of 16.

[lwien]

So that "kid" post got me thinking a bit about some of the really stupid shit I did when I was young that I got in major trouble for. Give us your best, or worst I guess, depending on how you look at it. Here's mine.

When I was 15, I had a girlfriend, Francee, who lived around the block from me. My mom and her mom were pretty good friends, with "were" being the operative word here. Anyways, Francee had a younger brother who she would babysit when her parents went out and just about every time they went out, Francine would call me to come over. There were a few times when we'd be in her bedroom doin' it on her bed when we'd hear her parents come home. Her bedroom was in the back of the house off the kitchen........living room in front. So when we heard them come in, Francee would throw me my clothes and I'd run and hide in her closet while she pretended to be asleep, reason being that her father would come into her room every night to give her a fatherly peck on the cheek.....while I was shaking in my boots in the closet. Shaking because her father was an ex golden gloves boxer. So.......after her father exited her room, he'd go with his wife to the living room to watch tv. As soon as the TV came on, it was my clue to bail. I'd exit the closet, give Francee a hug and kiss, slowly open her door, look down the kitchen into the living room to see her parent watching TV and very slowly tiptoe out of her bedroom, into the kitchen, quietly open the back door, exit.............and run like hell back home.

This happened at least 2 to 3 times a month for almost a year, that is, until I fucked up soooo bad that we were forbidden to ever see each other again and my Mom literally kicked me out of the house and my Dad had to do a lot of convincing for her to let me back in.

Her parents went to Vegas one weekend. Yipee !! No worrying about her parents walking in on us. Francee said, screw it, my bed's too small. Lets use my parents bed. So.............we did. I went home that night, VERY satisfied, called her when I got into bed to tell her I loved her and went to sleep.

The next morning, my Mom gets a phone call from her Mom and the next thing I know, my Mom is fucking mad as hell. I've never seen her that angry. I remember her words to this day. She kept yelling, "How COULD you?" How COULD you?" and just screamed at me for an hour and kicked me out of the house.

I fucked up big time. I left the used condom on the nightstand in her parents bedroom. This was back in 1959 and I'm still amazed that her father didn't come over and beat the crap out of me. I have no doubt he wanted to. We were forbidden from that day on to ever see each other again.

Poor Francee. I could only imagine what she went through when her parents found what they found.

 

[jeffp]

Don't know if this is the "best" but this is the first one that pops into my mind. Actually I was sixteen at the time, not before, so you'll forgive me.

My parents went away for the weekend and being that they didn't trust me in the house alone and I didn't have a key, it was arranged that I'd spend the weekend at my friend Paul's house, around the corner.
Little did they know that I unlocked a ground level window in the dining room before they left, and I was going to have an LSD party in the house that weekend. My first trip. Plus we had about two ounces of weed between myself and my friends. First thing I did was skip school for the day and bought a carton of Winstons from lunch money I'd been saving.

Anyway as I remember I snuck back into the house and my friends came over at night. We were in a band together, most of us, and we had a "gig" at the local Jr. High School but first we got totally fucked up before arriving. We painstakingly made this humongous joint about 12 inches long, we called it "the carrot."
I think we spaced out on stage doing "Spoonful" for most of the show. One of us must have had a car, I don't remember that exactly.

Saturday night was the big night - we had something called "Purple Owsley" LSD, from California.
Back then it was $2 a hit. We took it and then we ordered food from the pizza place.
I recall that we didn't consider having money to pay for it - it was non stop getting fucked up since Friday afternoon... and when it arrived we were stumped when the guy told us how much it was. We didn't have it.
The guy said it was OK that he'll come back for the money next week.
I couldn't eat the clam chowder, it seemed disgusting - food in general seemed disgusting - so I dumped it in the sink, but it didn't drain.
I remember staring at it, fixated at the soup; it's detail, colors, etc.
My friend Paul quietly snuck up behind me and dunked my head into the soup and announced, "This is your LSD trip."
The fragments of the rest of the night that I remember...
Some of my friends went upstairs and came down with bedsheets over their heads, pretending to be ghosts.
We were spitting pretzel nuggets at each other and pretending to bat at them like we were playing hallucinatory baseball. Meanwhile my friend Larry was spinning around in circles on the swivel chair with a frozen smile, telling us he saw Santa Claus.
I started to get worried that we're destroying the house and my parents would be home the next day.
So I started running in circles through the house, stating repeatedly, "Just look at this place, just look at it."

We agreed that we should clean it up while we were still peaking on acid.

I brought up the vacuum cleaner from the basement and then I went to the bathroom to look at dirty magazines.

I smelled smoke so I left the bathroom and it turns out that Larry was vacuuming and he put his lit cigarette in the vacuum cleaner and it started on fire.

We were all like, "what the fuck??"
We better put it out - just take it outside, put it in the backyard....

My neighbor came into the house right around then, he said he smelled smoke and heard alot of noise, is everything OK?

Oh yes, everything's fine.

As we started coming down we cleaned up as best we could then we sat around the ktichen table, we were going to eat something. There were bagels and peanut butter. We passed the knife around. Paul was standing behind Larry. Larry had his shirt off. Larry took forever to slice his bagel, staring at it from all angles.
Paul got impatient and yelled, "Give me the fucking knife!!!"
Larry said, "You got it - and just flipped his arm back and ended up stabbing Paul in the hand.
(we were calling each other by our last names but I'm just using the first names here...)
Paul's standing there with a knife attached to his hand and said, "I can't believe you fucking stabbed me, Larry!"
"You asked for it!"

A few hours later my friends were gone, I was sitting on the porch, acting like I was waiting to get into the house.
My parents arrived. "How was your weekend." "It was fine."
My mother walked in and within seconds, "Something's not right. Someone was in here. This is not how I left the house."

They knew the whole story within seconds but I kept denying it, while I was staring at a newspaper ad for a movie, "Zacharia" - "The First Electric Western."

 

[tdavie]

Wow, 2 pretty good stories. Mine doesn't compare, more of an ignorance thing on my part (after all, there was no resource I had to actually ask questions about marijuana/hash/oil and get honest answers.

I was 15 (1975) and had smoked a bit of weed, maybe 3 or 4 times when a friends called Murray the J calls me up and asks me if I want to buy some hash. I tell him 'no, that stuff kills you and besides I don't want to use needles. He laughs and tells me what hash is, and sort of how it's made. Better than weed he tells me.

Ask how much and was told 1g/15, 2/25. So I buy 2 g. When we hook up, I ask him how to use it. He mentioned ciggy's (I wouldn't start smoking those until 34), using a pipe. or eating it. The latter course of action seemed the best for me. He says a dose of 0.5g would 'do me right'. But noooooo, I was smarter than that. I cut 1g up into 8 pieces.

AT 11:30 on a saturday night, I took 1/8 g. Ok, at 11:40 I took another 1/8g. At 11:50 I took 1/4g because I think it must be prerty week stuff. AT 12:00, I took 1/2g because I thought it was garbage. At 12:30 I was pissed off because I 'knew' I had been ripped off, took the entire other 1 g and went to bed.

Well, at 3:30 I woke up because I heard a noise, stodd up out of bed and fell to the floor. What the fuck? I tried to stand, releaized I couldn't and had to crawl to the bathroom (that crawl seemed to last forever), and was very sick (that too seemed to last for days). Crawled back into my bed, and realized I was insane. I kept looking at the clock, figuring I had been high for at least 3 days. 3:47 am (yup, this really correct and specfic about the numbers....thats one of the things I was OCD about). Shit, when will this ever stop?

All of a sudden I knew what this noise was that woke me up; there was this giant buzzsaw inside of my head and it was cutting my brain in half like butter. I curled up into a fetal position and kinda passed out/went into a very vivid dream state when I was woken up by this pressure on my chest (later found out it was my cat); and saw the cop from next door neighbors sitting on top of me pointing his gun into my face, asking me 'why the hell are you doing this shit and that I would have to go to jail. I closed my eyes and then woke up at 6:30am.

This time, although still very fucked up, I was kinda hungry and thirsty. so I had to sneak to the freezer (I was convinced my parents were listening to me), grabbed a frozen pizza and a couple cans ok coke, snuck back to my room and proceeded to eat the frozn pizza and drink the cokes. I was able to relax, put my head back on the pillow, and the next thing I know I am being woken up by my dad (for real this time).

It's 2:30 pm and I have to clean the pool because we have company coming for dinner. I say huh? He asks whats wrong with me and says to get to it. It takes me about 1/2 hour to walk up stairs and get outside. And it takes me about 1 hour to clean the pool, leaning on the 12 foot scoop so I wouldn't fall over (couldn't walk, more of a lurching stagger. I finish, go back inside and tell my parents that I am going to bed because I was really hung over and that I didn't feel well. They didn't really say much, but let me go.

I go to sleep until 7am or so on Monday morning. No school that day, for which I was glad. I was still kinda groggy, but about 90% functional.

Thats about it. I fucked up because I just didn't know what I was taking, or how strong it was.

34 years later I'll still have an occasional hallucination because of weed, except they don't freak me out any more, I just go with them (hearing people talk in reverse, seeing sound, tasting or feeling colors, seeing words on a poster melt, and most recently when I was vaping about 6 weeks ago, I could see little tropical fish jumping in and out of the water when I was having a bath).

Tom

 

[Chubba]

Going to codense them down small as possible... this was one situation that could have been EXTREMELY fucked.

1. Primary school, big sleepover for my birthday party (10 or so best mates). I was in the room with 1 other friend while the other 8-9 were sleeping in another room. I decided it would be funny to superglue ones of the guys hands together (, I know, fucking stupid). So I go in the room in pitch black and emptied 2 ENTIRE tube of superglue onto one of my mates hands and then try to place his other hand onto it... he wakes up and sort of squirms (still pitch black), "whats going on", I go silent and pretend nothing is happening.

/fast foward 5 minutes

MASSIVE scream, he wiped his hand on his face when he first woke up... superglue ALL over, in his nose, all through eyebrows and worst of all on/in his eyelids his eyes were superglued shut Totally fucked, he's crying but no tears will come out, he's essentially blind.

/massive drama unfolds for the next 3 hours or so before my dad finally calls him mum after trying everthing possible to fix the situation.

He dissapears with his mum, entire face caked rock solid in superglue and his eyes fucked. 2 days later he turns up at school, eyes all good, with no eyebrows The entire class teased him for a few weeks till they grew back.

He STILL, to this very day (15 years on), brings it up on a daily basis... I'm just so glad I didn't permanently blind my best friend as a child.

 

[sneezyjesus]

Well I'm only 20, so I haven't eally gotten far from 16 yet

The first thing I thought of was a couple years back, the first summer when I started smoking with my friends a lot.

The entire week had been pretty eventuful in a fun way, I had started smoking last summer and the burn turns we regularly were making out on the back roads were hands down the funnests parts of the summer by far. We had all started buying bud too, so the car we took was always full of stanky goodness.

There was a great spot we always used to stop and smoke at late at night, the local shooting range, and we decided one night that it would be the perfect night for a clambake. Smoking a bowl on the way out, we drove around for a while listening to some classic rock on the cheesy late night radio station, Journey's Wheel in the Sky was one I think.

So we get to the shooting range and get to work. Now I'll mention that it turned out that one of our party had decided to take a week off from things and discover what an acid trip was really about. He was a blast to hang out with in the car, but at one point he was a bit overwhelmed and decided to get out of the car and lie down on the grass to collect himself. This is not his "I fucked up moment", no its mine. Sadly, I was the one who ended up "going too far". I still hadn't smoked a ton on any regular basis, and this night me and my four friends smoked something like eight huge bowls, with kief layers to boot. I was great for what seemed like the longest time, untill i got back to my friends hosue and sat down.

In an instant my perceptions just went compeltely to hell. I felt like my soul was being pulled into a wormhole. After a while of me just staring at the wall i told my buddies i had to head home, and halfway there i ended up lying down in a snowy intersection thinking i was going to die.

Couple minutes later I got cold, stood up and went home to a wonderful night's sleep.
Blue balls I know, but I don't have any calamity-situation stories yet

 

[PerseusStoned]

Read 'em all and am thankful I was no where near as much of a Hellraiser as you guys At least before 16...

 

[Guest]

Ok. i was 15 years old, i just came home from juvenile hall. the reason i was there isn't important. we had these two sofas facing each other with a coffee table between them. one day i was taking a nap on one of them. i was in a deep sleep and had my very first 'wet dream'. i was humping and grinding the sofa till i exploded in my pants. i reach down to feel the mess, and wiped the nut on the sofa, after i did that, i looked over to my left...and my mom sitting on the other sofa, she yelled out "what the fuck". she saw the whole act while i was sleeping! thank god she never told anyone! (atleast that i know of)!!!