In honor of the Season 5 premiere tonight...
Season 5 gathers, and now my watch begins.
It shall not end 'til the season finale.
I shall embrace no wife, mow no lands, entertain no children.
I shall wear no ties and make no money.
I shall live and die at my TV.
I am the witness in the darkness.
I am the watcher on the couch.
I am the fire that burns the hand that tries to change the channel,
the one who programs the DVR,
the one who yells "NO TALKING!",
the shield that guards the remote control.
I pledge my life and honor to this seasons watch, for this night and all the nights to come.... till the end of this season.