What Do You Think About Kids ........

[lwien]

.......hiding their bud vaping or smoking in their parents home when they know full well that their parents are against it?

Here's my take.

When I lived at home, I never did anything in my parents house that they were not aware of. I knew from a very young age that it was their house and that I lived by their rules. I totally respected them and felt that if I was inclined to want to do something in our home, that was against their rules, that I would have to wait till I was able to afford a place of my own. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

But their rules did not extend outside of our home. There, I was allowed to make my own decisions and pay the consequences for them if those decisions were wrong. Did that happen? Uhhhhh, yep. But nothin' serious.

Thoughts............??

 

[Skunkypete]

Wish I had a vaporizer back when I was living with my parents. Would've beat sneaking out to smoke joints, more stealthy and not as stinky.

Everyone is different , some people care what their parents think others rebel. Not much you can do about it besides try to talk rationally with them.

 

[lwien]

Wish I had a vaporizer back when I was living with my parents. Would've beat sneaking out to smoke joints, more stealthy and not as stinky.

Everyone is different , some people care what their parents think others rebel. Not much you can do about it besides try to talk rationally with them.

Ahhh......don't get me wrong. I was the black sheep in my family and rebelled like crazy. Major arguments. And when a rule was laid down that I didn't agree with, I argued and rebelled like crazy, but the bottom line was, that if it was layed down, I followed it. I might not have agreed with it, but agreeing with it had nothing to do with it. It all had to do with respect.

 

[MoeOnTheMoon]

You were a good son! And very "old school"!

I smoked pot in my bedroom, j*rked off to the latest "Playboys" (back then it was very hard to get true "porn"), and even did lsd in there - none of which my parents approved of. Oh, and I also listened to the Mothers of Invention, the Fugs and other groups with "dirty" lyrics! The one thing I didn't do was drink alcohol in their home, but only because I wasn't into it at the time...

I think even back then most people I know did things in their parents' homes that their parents didn't approve of! Nowadays it's probably all the "worse". But I think it has a lot to do with how you are raised, too. I have a friend who raised her kids to be honest with her. She said they could even drink when under age as long as they did it at home and if they did do it elsewhere, to call her for a ride home. She let them get tattoos, smoke pot, whatever they want as long as they let her know about it. Know what? Those kids grew up to be very good kids, not "crazy" or "wild"!

I think it's nice to have respect for one's parents' rules, but sometimes they make it quite difficult and my attitude was "What they don't know, won't hurt them"! I just don't think you can expect to put a lot of restrictions on teenagers and then have them NOT do things you don't want them to do. Better to let them do what they want at home.

 

[lwien]

A very good son? I'd bet that if you asked my Mom or Dad, they'd disagree with you. I caused them a lot grief.

They weren't overly strict. Pretty normal actually. And the only restrictions they put on me is what I did or didn't do under their roof. It was their house. My Dad worked long hours to support his family. I guess I just respected that and there really wasn't anything that I HAD to do that was so important that I was willing to go against whatever rules that were set down.

 

[aero18]

I vaped and my parents never knew what the Da Buddha was. It was just sitting on my desk. Then my brother told them (ironic how I give him vaporizers now) what it is and they took my DBV. Found it later and hid it underneath my bed. Vaped there until they found it again and took it.

Then I got a genie and vaped in my room without their approval. For whatever reason my mother searched through my computer one day and found it.

Bought a new VG later, after a bit of glass and continued to vape in my room. My parents don't care too much anymore. I went home with my bong a couple of weeks ago and my parents took it (I left it out on my desk) but then they gave it back. Told them what my MZ was and left it running in the living room.

They know that I am stubborn and they will eventually give way. Works for me. They are more open to cannabis. They even were about to try it a couple of months ago.

 

[Acaseofchaos]

I vape in my parents house. They both used to be hippies, but are against me smoking for various reasons (grades(right now i have a 3.5 gpa, last yr when i started smoking i was dumb and had a 2.7 average), driving, and the law). Im hoping they will vote on the ballot to legalize in CA this fall. I will be 18 for it and i will vote. Ive never gotten into trouble with the law.

One time i was offered at around 2AM to go to in n out to get food and smoke and hang out. I said no cause it was a stupid as fuck idea, cops ended up catching them. I've been smoking for a year (during about 8 of those months i was smoking everyday) so i can control myself and think pretty well, so i dont make stupid choices when im high, such as smoking and driving. They know very well that weed is alot better than other things i could be doing (i dont drink, i dont do harder drugs, every once in a while i will do acid but rarely, and acid for the most part is pretty safe). I dont go to parties and i dont hang out with bad people.

 

[aero18]

I do agree with you lwien that it is just disrespectful... I still do it occasionally when I am over.

 

[Rick]

Respect, like other human doings or undoings is a two way street. If parents or a parent does not respect themselves and/or others, they will not get respect from the children. Kids are way smarter than many 'adults' give them credit (for). They see through phoniness before long and then give back what they were given by the 'adults'.
For sure a little hiding or sneaking is normal with any healthy young person. But the blatant disrespect is learned. Usually it is simple. Kids having kids.
I also agree that each generation changes a bit. My generation, the first of the baby boomers(born '45-47), was a very different lot as teenagers than following generations. Our parents were different. But then the world was sooo different then. So simple.
Respect is learned by example.

 

[itriplots]

Rick, my papa was born in '46 and I started smoking his weed, from his grown room, in his house the first year of high school He was pissed when he found out at first, but he wasnt really worried about the weed, he was just worried that it might interfere with school because I had terrible grades at the time. I worked a bit harder and started getting A's and he started letting me smoke. He actually told me that I have to try acid and mushrooms before I got out of high school.

My mom is a whole different story though. She occasionally smoked in college with my dad, but its always kinda been her personal vendetta to turn my dad into a reformed pot head. She really didnt want me to start smoking because of this. She always forbid smoking in the house, so me and my dad would have back porch smoke sessions. Now my dad and I both have our medical licenses and my mom is completely ok with vaporizing though. We can all sit in the living room and watch tv while my dad and I vape. Its pretty neat what vaporizing has done for the family smoking issue.

 

[flanman]

Respect, like other human doings or undoings is a two way street. If parents or a parent does not respect themselves and/or others, they will not get respect from the children. Kids are way smarter than many 'adults' give them credit (for).

+1.

22 and still at home (only for a short while longer) and my mom almost always shows me zero respect, she doesn't know i smoke/vap but if she did i'd be out the door. she is very sheltered and believes she knows how everything works but she doesn't. she doesn't know the laws at all yet she acts like she does, she never smoked weed but she thinks she knows how it effects people and how it'll "ruin my life and any chance i have at living comfortably"... rarely do i consider myself disrespectful but in this situation i have no issues vaping in my room when she is in bed or not home.

 

[lwien]

He actually told me that I have to try acid and mushrooms before I got out of high school.

Why?

 

[Acaseofchaos]

Yea, parents shouldnt encourage any kind of drug use. Acid is a large step up from weed and the step should only be taken when you want to try it, not because someone told you to. When i tried acid, i panicked at first cause it was so much more powerful than weed or E, then it was one of the best times ive ever had on any substance.

 

[alucard]

He actually told me that I have to try acid and mushrooms before I got out of high school.

Why?

I'd assume because they are safe* ways to learn a great deal about himself and the world. (If his home is a comfortable environment and he is ready)

Yea, parents shouldnt encourage any kind of drug use. Acid is a large step up from weed and the step should only be taken when you want to try it, not because someone told you to.

I doubt that his dad would force him to take lsd if he didn't want to.

 

[itriplots]

alucard, you nailed it. My dad spent his adolescence doing similar things so he figured id really enjoy them and learn a lot from them. I think it was great advice. If I was in charge of the school system I would make guided trips on mushrooms a high school graduation requirement.

Im very glad that my dad told me the truth about drugs, and encouraged me to make my own opinions of them instead of just lying to me and saying that they are bad and I shouldn't do them.

 

[lwien]

alucard, you nailed it. My dad spent his adolescence doing similar things so he figured id really enjoy them and learn a lot from them. I think it was great advice. If I was in charge of the school system I would make guided trips on mushrooms a high school graduation requirement.

Im very glad that my dad told me the truth about drugs, and encouraged me to make my own opinions of them instead of just lying to me and saying that they are bad and I shouldn't do them.

There is a middle ground here though. One doesn't have to lie about drugs when talking about them with their children, but one doesn't have to encourage their use either.

But being that you state that if you had your druthers, you would make guided trips on mushrooms a high school graduation "requirement", and you apparently are saying this in all seriousness, then I should just keep my mouth shut here.......but please understand, this is coming from someone who dropped acid just about every weekend for over 5 years back in the 60's and very early 70's. It was that very pure Owsley acid that came in small vials. Was really a mind opener and I wouldn't have changed a thing, but I would never think about making it a requirement for anyone or encourage my kids on it's use but would actually discourage it's use until they had some more milage under their belts. One really should have a very strong foundation before one embarks on those kinds of trips and it takes some years to build that. I feel that this is true for all psychedelics. They are not to be taken lightly. But of course, this is just all in my humble opinion, for whatever it's worth.

 

[Rick]

Disrespect comes in all forms. One of the most common, as a parent, is to act all knowing when you are not. Opinions get stated as facts and you better not argue with my facts kid or you are even more worthless. I have known people who raised kids with the attitude "they are all dumb fucks til 25 at least". Always berating them, never let them learn on their own, mainly making them feel like shit because they do not agree with the parent. The parent(s) perpetuate the chaos by continuing to rag and rag. "Kids" cannot wait to get out of the house but it is tough because they have not been conditioned to think for themselves by their loving parents.
More and more it is becoming apparent to me anyway that many parents see their kids as possessions or resources rather than other people. We are experiencing that in our family. Kids being used as chips in this ongoing game of "I am good and your are bad".
It really would be funny if it was not so sad. "I am not well adjusted and balanced in life. I lie, cheat and steal. I shit on anyone who disagrees with me. I perpetuate chaos. I disdain resolve. I am very mean. I believe in a socially accepted fairy tale about being good but I do the opposite. Now, my kids, YOU need to be just like me!"
puke!
I digress.

 

[flanman]

yeah, my mom went up to me the other night and said "you know all i want is to see you be successful and comfortable", not "i want to see you happy with whatever you do in life"

 

[stickstones]

my parenting style is to educate, love and prepare and them let them go at it and make their own decisions. So far, so good, but I have a long way to go still. I still am not sure how to get to and through the subject of weed, however. At what age are they ready? How do I present it? At this point I am waiting for them to bring it up. No need to rush my kids into drugs and experimenting. I guess they will do it when they are ready. I just hope we have the kind of relationship where they can come to me first. Any thoughts, especially from you kids that were exposed to weed by your parents?

 

[jeffp]

One of the things I tell my daughter repeatedly as we go along is "sometimes kids have to be smarter than the grown ups." She doesn't respond verbally to that but she gets it. As we did without being told that.
I know this has nothing to do with the subtext of this thread but I wanted to put this out there.