Taking It Private

[His_Highness]

On a few occasions some of the threads have gotten heated and locked down. You can see it coming most of the time. On the off-chance that the rise in temperature is felt before it gets too hot and the offending parties want to continue .... do you take the debate somewhere else that is acceptable? Inbox, Chat....?

 

[t-dub]

I have found that you will almost never change anyone's mind on this forum, no matter how much evidence you present, people usually won't even read the links you provide let alone your entire post. It really is a waste of time. Private messages are great for off topic discussions with willing participants but when people that disagree use the PM function it is usually to threaten or flame. The report button is the best way to go when this happens as the mods can see the reported message even though its in a private conversation.

 

[lwien]

I have found that you will almost never change anyone's mind on this forum, no matter how much evidence you present, people usually won't even read the links you provide let alone your entire post. It really is a waste of time.

If I found it a waste of time, I wouldn't be spending as much time here as I do. I've been enlightened on a lot of things that I've read here. Being exposed to different perspectives is a good thing, eh.

Changing ones mind, or my own for that matter, has never been the objective. For me, it's all about cracking open the doors a bit to get a glimpse of what's on on the other side........and it matters not if it's me or someone else doing the cracking.

Fuck, I even watch Faux News, for Christ's sake.

 

[Silver420Surfer]

I hope we dont have members here who are threatening others in PMs. That is not cool AT ALL.
Discourse is a great learning tool, hopefully we can keep things civil and learn something(wether we want to admit to it or not lol) from all the perspectives. You right, @t-dub, you won't change my mind, but at least it gives me a some idea on how other's think/rationalize/etc. That may lead to some sort of common ground to try and move forward with.

 

[smokum]

Here at FC (and others), I tend to share what I know/perceive/disagree/feel and if I receive anything butt bent or aggressive in PM or otherwise... I let it go and ignore/move on.

Life's short, and there's more beyond the interweb.... If all else fails.... refer to my avatar, which is pretty much my persona in real life.

 

[His_Highness]

If something escalated to the point of threats then debate/discussion over. Sorry...I definitely didn't word the topic correctly.

I was just wondering what folks do when a heated hijacking of a thread starts and the debate teams want to continue off thread...what usually happens? It's not really fair to those not interested or entertained by the heat to be subjected to it.

 

[lwien]

If something escalated to the point of threats then debate/discussion over. Sorry...I definitely didn't word the topic correctly.

I was just wondering what folks do when a heated hijacking of a thread starts and the debate teams want to continue off thread...what usually happens? It's not really fair to those not interested or entertained by the heat to be subjected to it.

They're not really subjected to anything. If they don't want to be subjected to it, they don't need to read it. They can just skip over those posts and just read the posts that interests them.

Also, I would imagine that there are not only lurkers but others who may not contribute to the debate, but derive benefit from them nonetheless, be it in the form of gaining knowledge or just pure entertainment.

 

[h3rbalist]

Only happened to me once, and I definitely didn't handle it correctly and in that particular situation I should have raised my 'beef' with a nice polite direct PM and rescued the thread.

I am only human.

And am here on this forum to be enlightened by the diversity of opinion here.

I flipping love it.

 

[DieHard]

I had a member accuse me and 2 others (manufacturer accounts) of trolling him when we were all just trying to help. He PMed me with all these accusations. I typed (then edited) Such HOT responses MY keyboard was on fire. Then I started over. This is what I said in the end: "There is an 'Ignore' button with your name on it. I suggest you do the same for me." Then I reported the PM he sent me. Don't want to break rules but, PM's are not monitored by mods.
Edit: they can see it. But generally do nothing about PM infractions.

 

[pakalolo]

The report button is the best way to go when this happens as the mods can see the reported message even though its in a private conversation.

Don't want to break rules but, PM's are not monitored by mods.
Edit: they can see it. But generally do nothing about PM infractions.

PMs are private matters. Moderators cannot see your PMs and we do not enforce rules for them, hence there is no such thing as a "PM infraction". The only time we see a PM is when you report it, because then the reported PM is part of the report. We don't "generally do nothing", we always do the same thing: inform the person reporting the PM that we can't see PMs and therefore cannot moderate them.

If someone is sending you flames in a PM, use the ignore feature.

 

[His_Highness]

Sounds like the consensus is that if a thread/topic gets heated and looks like it may combust we just let it do what it naturally will do out in the open in the thread. No past experiences point to a standard of taking it to the inbox or chat from the responses here.

Please note I am not suggesting that the debate be taken private to allow it to escalate to a name calling verbal brawl. I was more interested in the early warning system that a lock down is in the cards and rather than allow a good thread and good debate to close .... the debate could be taken elsewhere.

IMO...There's goodness in continuing out in the open in the thread because someone will likely be the voice of reason/mediator and make sure things don't progress to the point of becoming truly nasty or close it out if it does.

I was just curious if there was a historical/past standard for taking it private and maybe its good that there doesn't seem to be one.

 

[lwien]

Sounds like the consensus is that if a thread/topic gets heated and looks like it may combust we just let it do what it naturally will do out in the open in the thread.

Ummmm.........not quite. If a thread is getting ready to combust, what will typically happen is either someone in that thread will ask for calming heads to prevail or the mods will step in. Or.............reporting a thread to a mod to let them know that this really good thread is getting out of hand and that they may want to come in to raise some caution flags.

Just letting a great thread combust and eventually get shut down, in my opinion, is totally unproductive. Not only that, if one puts a lot of thought and time in participating in a debate, it's pretty upsetting to have it shut down. I know. I've been there.

But taking a good debate and a good topic to PM's deprives the rest of the community of, what could be, some great insight into certain topics.

 

[max]

PMs are private matters. Moderators cannot see your PMs and we do not enforce rules for them, hence there is no such thing as a "PM infraction". The only time we see a PM is when you report it, because then the reported PM is part of the report. We don't "generally do nothing", we always do the same thing: inform the person reporting the PM that we can't see PMs and therefore cannot moderate them.

If someone is sending you flames in a PM, use the ignore feature.

If any forums moderate private messages and/or emails, then they're doing it wrong. A forum's boundaries should end with public posts. If a dispute/disagreement doesn't take place in forum posts, we don't want to hear about it. That doesn't mean we don't care about members getting along with each other, it just means that modding private communications is a and we won't get involved in it.

I was more interested in the early warning system that a lock down is in the cards and rather than allow a good thread and good debate to close .... the debate could be taken elsewhere.

We don't lock/close threads due to members getting out of line with the 'be nice' rule. If it's a valid topic the thread stays open (except for 'what should I buy? threads in Ask FC) and all posters are expected to stay civil and on-topic. We have closed a few threads in the past that got out of hand (usually an off topic/hot topic thread in the Lounge on politics, religion, etc.), but good vape topic threads are not closed due to poor posting behavior.

 

[syrupy]

I've taken a few topics to PM, after the thread has burned to the ground. But it's almost always to clarify something.


We need a contest for Weirdest PM. I have a couple that could be finalists. Common sense helps, like that new member with a handful of posts who asked me to deliver them something across state lines.

 

[t-dub]

I had one guy call me"boi", challenged me to a fight, and said he was "gonna take me down". He was pretty upset.

 

[lwien]

I had one guy call me"boi", challenged me to a fight, and said he was "gonna take me down". He was pretty upset.

Damn dub. You promised to keep our PM's private.

 

[Slow Draw McGraw]

Come at me bro

 

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

Come at me bro

Awe, bro, you gotta back that shit up.

 

[pakalolo]

We need a contest for Weirdest PM.

Before anyone steps in , our rule is that both parties must agree to a public post of private communications, so this is a non-starter.

 

[ilikechinesefood]

I believe that a conversation where the arguments are supported with facts, and aren't 'mean', would be fine. However threats aren't cool.

 

[Joel W.]

I want to publicly apologize to t-dub for calling him out in my post in the science thread in reference to the global warming debate topic.

My sincere apologies @t-dub . You are certainly not a bully and I did not mean to imply you were.

I did take it to pm after Stu applied some well needed advice before it got out of hand. Thanks @Stu

Edit: I enjoy some good debates as I like hearing the other opinions. I would disagree that people can not be swayed by a good arguement however. I personally have changed my views based on new information several times on many issues. .

PS . I read all your links.

 

[Jeppy]

Everyone here has a pm.

 

[pakalolo]

Everyone here has a pm.

Not exactly. You can limit or block them completely in your Privacy Settings. We've had a few cases of people placing a Classified ad but not allowing PMs.